Adoption and fostering: advice, topics and issues Books

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Book SynopsisThis is a book written by a birth mother about a daughter who is put up for adoption by her own parents without a thought for her own feelings. A family unit of a mother, father and two sisters wait to be re-united. It is a story spanning forty years of difficult relationships with a less than happy ending.

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Book SynopsisTHE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER'A remarkable autobiography'Andrew Billen, The Times'You're struck by his raw honesty in tackling big issues head-on'Tom Bryant, Daily Mirror'So full of heart' Davina McCall'I was riveted by it in a heartbreaking way . . . you will be gripped' Ranvir Singh, Lorraine'So moving . . . it's a beautiful book'Zoe Ball'Commendable honesty . . . a poignant book about the search for belonging'Daily Express'Remarkable . . . contains a lesson for all of us and delivers a resounding message of hope and of love'James O'Brien*************The brave and moving memoir by Long Lost Family presenter and Radio 5 breakfast show host Nicky Campbell reveals how the simple unconditional love of Maxwell, his Labrador, turned his life around and helped him come to terms with his difficult journey as an adopted child.Raw, honest and courageous in One of the Family, Nicky opens up about how being adopted has made him always feel like an outsider; the guilt he has carried towards his Mum and Dad for needing to trace his birth mother, and the crushing disappointment he felt when he finally met her. And for the first time, he writes about his emotional breakdown and how he has learned to live with a late diagnosis of bipolar. Through it all his passion for dogs and animals has been a lifeline. It is Maxwell's magic, a lesson from a Labrador in simple unconditional friendship, that has allowed him to see all the good in his life: from the security and safety of his childhood home, the love of his wife and four daughters and above all, to better understand the decisions taken by his birth mother to give him up for adoption.Trade Review'So moving . . . it's a beautiful book' -- Zoe Ball'A remarkable autobiography' -- Andrew Billen * The Times *'I was riveted by it in a heartbreaking way . . . you will be gripped' -- Ranvir Singh * Lorraine *'You're struck by his raw honesty in tackling big issues head-on' -- Tom Bryant * Daily Mirror *'Commendable honesty . . . a poignant book about the search for belonging' * Daily Express *'A raw and remarkable read' -- Giles Paley-Phillips'Eloquent and personal . . . a beautiful read' -- Peter Egan'Remarkable . . . contains a lesson for all of us and delivers a resounding message of hope and of love' -- James O'Brien

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Book SynopsisAn NPR Best Book of 2022 An incredible, deeply reported story of identical twins Isabella and Hà, born in Viêt Nam and raised on opposite sides of the world, each knowing little about the other’s existence until they were reunited as teenagers, against all odds. “Stirring and unforgettable—a breathtaking adoption saga like no other.” —Robert Kolker It was 1998 in Nha Trang, Vi?t Nam, and Liên struggled to care for her newborn twin girls. Hà was taken in by Liên’s sister, and she grew up in a rural village with her aunt, going to school and playing outside with the neighbors. They had sporadic electricity and frequent monsoons. Hà’s twin sister, Loan, was adopted by a wealthy, white American family who renamed her Isabella. Isabella grew up in the suburbs of Chicago with a nonbiological sister, Olivia, also adopted from Vi?t Nam. Isabella and Olivia attended a predominantly white Catholic school, played soccer, and prepared for college. But when Isabella’s adoptive mother learned of her biological twin back in Vi?t Nam, all of their lives changed forever. Award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki spent years and hundreds of hours interviewing each of the birth and adoptive family members. She brings the girls’ experiences to life on the page, told from their own perspectives, challenging conceptions about adoption and what it means to give a child a good life. Hayasaki contextualizes the sisters’ experiences with the fascinating and often sinister history of twin studies, intercountry and transracial adoption, and the nature-versus-nurture debate, as well as the latest scholarship and conversation surrounding adoption today, especially among adoptees. For readers of All You Can Ever Know and American Baby, Somewhere Sisters is a richly textured, moving story of sisterhood and coming of age, told through the remarkable lives of young women who have redefined the meaning of family for themselves.Trade Review“Somewhere Sisters is a heartbreaking, many times maddening tale of three adoptees, two of whom are twins separated at birth, who find themselves at the intersection of nature and nurture, fighting against fate and circumstance to carve out their own destinies. Seamlessly weaving historical context with brilliant reportage, Hayasaki delivers an incisive and poignant exploration of the world of transracial adoption and twinship, bearing witness to the profound struggles of those caught between two worlds, trying to define themselves.” —Ly Tran, author of House of Sticks “Well-researched and compassionately written, Somewhere Sisters is a journey from separations to reunions, from individual lives to the history of adoption. Urgent and compelling, this book asks important questions about responsibility and ethics and will inspire all of us as we work toward a more responsible and inclusive society.” —Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai, author of the international bestseller The Mountains Sing "Somewhere Sisters is stirring and unforgettable — a breathtaking adoption saga like no other; a provocative exploration into the ideas of family and belonging; and a deeply meaningful meditation on what makes us who we are and what connects us to one another.”—Robert Kolker, New York Times-bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road and Lost Girls“Somewhere Sisters is a heartbreaking, many times maddening tale of three adoptees, two of whom are twins separated at birth, who find themselves at the intersection of nature and nurture, fighting against fate and circumstance to carve out their own destinies. Seamlessly weaving historical context with brilliant reportage, Hayasaki delivers an incisive and poignant exploration of the world of transracial adoption and twinship, bearing witness to the profound struggles of those caught between two worlds, trying to define themselves.” —Ly Tran, author of House of Sticks“Expertly reported, this tale of Vietnamese twins separated in infancy and raised in a world apart challenges perceptions of international adoption.”—People Magazine“Hayasaki contextualizes [the sisters’] stories in the larger history of transracial and transnational adoption, as well as nature-nurture science, making for a nuanced portrait.”—NPR, Best Books of 2022“Hayasaki, a journalist who spent five years tracing the girls’ diverging paths, writes a sensitive, well-researched account of the years before and after their emotional reunion.”—The Washington Post“Journalist Erika Hayasaki chronicles the unbelievable timeline of twin sisters Isabella and Hà…a heart-wrenching tale told with compassion.”—Buzzfeed“A talented journalist, Hayasaki has meticulously reported this story, touching on complex topics such as the ethics of adoption, Asian American identity, how siblings reunite, and more.”—Shondaland“Erika Hayasaki lays out what happened to both twins, and what their story can teach us about family, nature and nurture, and adoption.”—Bustle“Hayasaki explores the many dimensions of transracial and transnational adoption in this moving account of families torn apart.” —The Cut"Deeply researched, artfully woven, and lyrically written, Somewhere Sisters explores the harsh reality behind international transracial adoption. Hayasaki is a master storyteller, and her compassion for her subjects is evident on every page. Her meticulous exploration into the dark legacy of nature-nurture studies, American saviorism, and the science of attachment is a powerful addition to our understanding of the lifelong impact of adoption."—Gabrielle Glaser, author of the New York Times notable book American Baby “Well-researched and compassionately written, Somewhere Sisters is a journey from separations to reunions, from individual lives to the history of adoption. Urgent and compelling, this book asks important questions about responsibility and ethics and will inspire all of us as we work toward a more responsible and inclusive society.”—Nguyen Phan Que Mai, author of the international bestseller The Mountains Sing"Erika Hayasaki has produced an elegant exploration of race and nationality. This intimate, meticulously reported portrait of an impoverished Vietnamese mother and her twin daughters, who were separated by adoption, is a not only a compelling story, but one that touches on profound questions of human identity.”—Barbara Demick, author of Eat the Buddha: Life and Death in a Tibetan Town and Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea“Hayasaki reveals the racial and class prejudices at the root of such adoptions without losing sight of the complexities of human emotions and family ties. This is a clear-eyed and well-grounded take on a thorny social issue.”—Publishers Weekly“Hayasaki weaves their reflections about belonging, heritage, and identity—gleaned from hundreds of hours of interviews with the girls and their birth and adoptive families—with a broad consideration of adoption and twin studies that aim to shed light on the extent to which genes and environment shape human behavior, personality, and development. An engaging portrait of intersected lives.”—Kirkus Reviews“Fascinating and moving on its own, the sisters' complex story of growing up, both together and apart, is complemented by Hayasaki's illumination of the personal, psychological, and sociocultural realities of adoption.”—Booklist“This book raises so many critical questions about the responsibility of wealthier countries and their attitude toward adoption in countries that they often left after years of colonization and war… A very emotional and human account of finding out what the meaning of family is.”—San Diego Union Tribune“SOMEWHERE SISTERS should be required reading for anyone considering intercountry and/or transracial adoption. Even-handed and balanced, Hayasaki’s book is a vivid, searing portrait of the complex realities behind the simple saviorism that is so often the impetus for foreign adoptions.”—Washington Independent Review of Books“SOMEWHERE SISTERS should be required reading for anyone considering intercountry and/or transracial adoption. Even-handed and balanced, Hayasaki’s book is a vivid, searing portrait of the complex realities behind the simple saviorism that is so often the impetus for foreign adoptions.”—Washington Independent Review of Books, "Our 51 Favorite Books of 2022"“This incredible true story is as fascinating as any novel... Journalist Erika Hayasaki interviewed family members extensively in order to write this nuanced tale of transracial adoption, nurture-versus-nature, and sisterhood.” —BookBub

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Book SynopsisAn NPR Best Book of 2022 and Winner of a Nautilus Silver Book Award"Stirring and unforgettable-a breathtaking adoption saga like no other." -Robert Kolker, New York Times-bestselling author of Hidden Valley Road and Lost GirlsIt was 1998 in Nha Trang, Vi?t Nam, and Liên struggled to care for her newborn twin girls. Hà was taken in by Liên's sister, and she grew up in a rural village with her aunt, going to school and playing outside with the neighbors. They had sporadic electricity and frequent monsoons. Hà's twin sister, Loan, was adopted by a wealthy, white American family who renamed her Isabella. Isabella grew up in the suburbs of Chicago with a nonbiological sister, Olivia, also adopted from Vi?t Nam. Isabella and Olivia attended a predominantly white Catholic school, played soccer, and prepared for college.But when Isabella's adoptive mother learned of her biological twin back in Vi?t Nam, all of their lives changed forever. Award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki spent years and hundreds of hours interviewing each of the birth and adoptive family members. She brings the girls' experiences to life on the page, told from their own perspectives, challenging conceptions about adoption and what it means to give a child a good life.

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Book SynopsisThis book is intended to act as a guide to would-be adopters as to how the process works within the Local Authority network. A must read for anybody contemplating adoption.

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Book SynopsisAre you in the process of adopting and feeling out of your depth? Do you already have an adopted child and are feeling overwhelmed?Sharing the secrets that will enable you to face the challenges of adoptive parenting with confidence, Sophie Ashton offers tips and strategies which have worked for her family. She discusses preparing for the journey ahead, parenting with empathy, facilitating your child's attachment, helping your child feel listened to, and providing structure and consistency in order to successfully integrate your child into your family and go on to have a stable happy family life.An honest and reassuring account of what it can really be like to be an adoptive parent, this practical hands-on guide will help you prepare for the highs and lows of being a parent and give your child and your family the best chance to flourish.Trade ReviewThis is an essential book to prepare and accompany adoptive families and the professionals that support them for both pre and post adoption. The book offers a down to earth approach to managing the inevitable challenges and often trying situations that impact adoptive families. It is a well thought, well written and comprehensive 'adoption survival guide'. A highly recommended read. -- Inbar Sagiv, Integrative Child Psychotherapist (MA) and Social Worker (BA)This is the most honest, sensitive and hands-on practical book I have ever read on how to successfully navigate the emotional challenges of adopting a child. This is not advice based on theory, it is an experiential account of what works. Not just in terms of preparation, but right through the long, long period of ups and downs, angst, fear, frustration, tears, love and adjustment to the dawning of a happy family unit. Sophie Ashton handles raw emotional and psychological issues involving the dynamics of the whole family head on. Her focus on building self-esteem and nurturing through the senses to develop the brain are crucial. Do not read 'The Secrets of Successful Parenting' if you want a Disney perspective, this is a real book that, I believe, will become a reference book for many people wanting to adopt or have adopted a child. -- Dr Lynda Shaw, Cognitive Neuroscientist, Fellow of the Royal Society of MedicineThis is a must-have guide of tried and tested success strategies that adoptive parents can continually refer to when experiencing overwhelming challenges and emotions. This book offers practical support and structure for facing inevitable (but often taboo) difficulties, helping adoptive parents to integrate their adoptive child in crucial aspects of development such as self-esteem and attachment. The real-life examples reassured me that, through effective communication and self-care, I could manage and face any difficulty. I was also reassured that my own responses to our adopted child were natural and encouraged to carry on in a well informed and positive way. This book is engaging, inspiring and relevant. -- Adoptive Mother, BuckinghamshireSophie has managed to do something unique: to simultaneously show the realities of adopting a child, and also give us lots of good ideas on how to make this happen successfully. As a potential gay adopter, I found the suggested games and activities very inspiring. Sophie obviously has lots of hands-on experience in this area, and does not approach the topic from a purely theoretical angle. This makes her book feel human, and the suggestions immediately applicable. Potential adoptive parents, as well as those for-ever parents who need some practical advice, would really benefit from reading this book. -- Mariano Tufro, Potential Adoptive ParentI read this book whilst going through the adoption process myself, and it was the only one of many I read that gave practical solutions to real-life problem situations we might encounter with any adopted child. It is also the most candid about the feelings of frustration and bewilderment you may feel when dealing with your adopted child. The fact that it is written by somebody speaking from experience adds credibility to the advice being given. The book should serve as a source of inspiration and hope for those who are really struggling with their child and is proof that you can work through any difficulties and have your own happy ending. The emotional side of things is coupled with tried and tested methods for coping as adoptive parents, whilst also dealing with difficult children. If we are lucky to have a child placed with us I will definitely be using this book as an invaluable reference point, and I highly recommend it to anybody either going through the process or who has adopted already and is struggling with challenging situations. -- Lal Lister, Potential Adoptive ParentBy far one of the best all-around adoption books I have ever read. I can feel the real-life, in the trenches experience of the author come through with deep wisdom and understanding. If there were an adoption parenting road map for establishing love and relationship in a home this is it. Please read and reread. Books at this level of true applicability and parenting guidance are rare. -- Bryan Post, www.postinstitute.comSophie Ashton has added to the rich literature by adopters for adopters. We know at Adoption UK how valuable the advice of experienced adopters is. Adoption transforms children's lives because adopters provide parenting that goes beyond what most parents have to deal with. Many adopted children and their families need and receive the support of professionals, what all benefit from is the wisdom and knowledge of those who have been there. Sophie's contribution is a valuable one and I can fully recommend this book. -- Hugh Thornbery, Chief Executive, Adoption UKTable of ContentsIntroduction. Part 1: Prepare for the Emotional Journey. 1. Anticipate the Emotional Journey. 2. Anticipate What May Cause You Frustration. Part 2: Parent with Empathy. 3. Understand Your Child. 4. Facilitate Your Child's Memories and Emotions. 5. Support Your Child Through Their Grieving Process. Part 3: Pay Back the Nurture Debt. 6. Nurture With Compassion. 7. Nurture Through the Senses for Brain Development. 8. Build Your Child's Self-Esteem and Facilitate Their Attachment. Part 4: Communicate Thoughtfully. 9. Help Your Child Feel Listened To. 10. Communicate With the Outcome in Mind. Part 5: Enable Your Child's Development. 11. Provide Structure and Consistency. 12. Close the Development Gap. Part 6: Prepare Carefully For Your New Arrival. 13. Involve Family and Friends. 14. Take Control of the Introductions and the Transition. 15. Carefully Integrate your Child Into Your Life. Conclusion.

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Book SynopsisWritten for busy foster carers and adoptive parents, this book provides a concise introduction to Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), and how to support a child with a diagnosis. It emphasises the common strengths children with ASD have, as well as offering strategies for any behavioural issues that are likely to arise, highlighting how these can be exacerbated by the care system and adoption process.The first part of the book looks at the different aspects of autism and the challenges it can pose for children and parents, providing strategies for managing difficulties at home and at school, using social stories, and reducing sensory input in a child's environment. The second part looks at issues that arise for fostered or adopted children, including placement transitions, contact, and explaining the past. It concludes with helping parents to think about self-care.Trade ReviewAdoption UK regularly supports adoptive parents who are struggling to decide whether their children has autism or an attachment disorder and what difference those two diagnosis might mean. This book will be invaluable to them as it provides a really helpful and simple description of how autism can present in different children, and how this can be similar to attachment difficulties. This book will help parents to get to know their child and their autism. It provides lots of real life examples and explores issues specific to adoption - such as moving from fostering to adoption. It will be invaluable bedside reading for many adopters. -- Ann Bell, Adoption UKAs an specialist autism professional, an adopter and an ex-foster carer, I found this book is a joy to read! It is rare that a book by professionals is so accessible. It will be a great resource for support workers, teaching assistants, care staff and professionals who want a book about autism and attachment that they can read easily, rather than academic text books. -- Heather Moran, Consultant Child Clinical Psychologist, Coventry and Warwickshire Partnership Trust, NHS UK Author of the Coventry GridAccessibly written and fantastically informative. The authors bring clarity and certainty to what is often a misunderstood and inaccessible word and present it in an easy and relatable form. -- Al Coates MBE, Social Worker/Trainer/SpeakerTable of ContentsPreface; 1: What Is Autism? 2: How Is Autism Assessed? 3: Overriding Principles For Parenting A Child With Autism; 4: Everyday Transitions At Home And School; 5: Placement Transitions & Contact; 6: Attachment & Belonging; 7: Life Story, Loss And Trauma; 8: Looking After Yourself; 9: Seeking Help And Resources; Appendix 1: Getting To Know My Child

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Book SynopsisWhen I am ready, I need you to talk to me and help me understand my feelings...'This reassuring story helps children aged 5+ with attachment issues to understand their feelings, open up to a caring adult and learn how to choose positive behaviours. Ben is made up of lots of different 'parts' - to name a few, he has happy, caring, angry, excited, hugging and yelling parts. Ben explains how all these parts are okay, and that a caring adult can help you to understand and manage them more easily. This book also features activities to help children talk about their feelings, and a simple introduction to attachment theory for adults.Trade ReviewDifficulties with attachment are central to the experience of many children and young people. This practical, accessible and engaging book is a great resource for starting to explore these ideas in practice, and helps children and those who care for them to develop a way of talking about and coping with complex emotions. An essential addition to any professional's toolbox! -- Dr. Bethan Roberts, Specialist Clinical PsychologistAn illustrated book which although small in size is big on information. Markham and O'Donnell have used their many years of experience to create All About Ben which shows children that an emotional reaction is normal. This book encourages them to think about how to cope when they are feeling challenged by offering them practical solutions which they can work through. -- Dr William Marshall PhD.The simple language and lively illustrations make this book child-friendly and engaging. Fun to read together, it provides a tool for a carer or other relevant adult to discuss difficult topics with a child. Together they can explore negative, and positive, actions and the feelings that led to these. Significantly, the book helps the adult to support the child in addressing attachment issues. -- Educationalist and former HM Inspector of Education, now retiredA book that will interest every family and every teacher, All About Ben is a realistic and sensitive journal of the challenges Ben encounters. All children would find this book essential reading too, from youngsters who can identify themselves as Ben to other children who identify Ben as a relative, best friend or classmate. Enjoy and share with others, as every Ben we know deserves understanding, nurturing and support. -- Lynn Dyas, HeadteacherTable of ContentsIntroduction. All About Ben.

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