Parodies and spoofs: non-fiction Books

Book SynopsisFor fans of the Netflix sensation comes the self-help book no aspiring viscountess should be without.Grosvenor Square, sometime after 1813Dearest reader,The social season is upon us! And whether you marriage-minded misses shall be considered a diamond or a doorstop shall soon be determined.But panic not, dear ladies, for you shall find all the advice you so desperately need within these pages. Receive instruction on how to perfect the feigned swoon; the optimal height your breasts can be squashed to; just how many feathers in your headdress is too many; and why you should never enter a maze at night unaccompanied (unless you're sure to be compromised by a sexy Duke and forced into marrying him).In short, you shall learn how to be more Bridgerton.Yours truly,Duchess WibberfluffleTrade Review‘Thank you, Duchess Wibberfluffle! Without your chapter on love-making for innocents I should have never known how a lady came to be with child. But more detailed instruction would have been appreciated.’ – Eloise Bridgerton ‘My eighth season and I’ve finally found a match thanks to your fabulous book. He’s no catch but my family have finally stopped calling me ‘the disappointment’. Couldn’t recommend more highly.’ – Baroness Berbrooke ‘She’s a fraud. I doubt she even has wisteria around her house. AVOID.’ – Lady Whistledown

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Book SynopsisFrom Harvard''s legendary humor publication comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous bestselling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains. An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions -- as well as their expectations of the characters -- to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn''t the Lampoon has really dropped the ball. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night''s Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book? And what about Jon Dough''s siblings? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren''t prominent characters in the book, you say? To find out, read the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon -- the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O''Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start -- is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.

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Book Synopsis''He''s a total rock ''n'' roller. There''s a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.'' Noel GallagherHe may be football''s latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he''s rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he''s hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected.*not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

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Book SynopsisCompiled from the notes of three zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter, a horticulture student, and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity. Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with TheZombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies. Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelo

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Book SynopsisWe''ve all been there. You call an Uber. The app says it has arrived, but . . . where is it? Where is your Uber?Are You My Uber? is a 21st Century parody of the 1960 P.D. Eastman children''s book Are You My Mother? A man steps off the midnight bus at Port Authority. His name? Unknown. His goal? To find his Uber, an elusive Ford Taurus. Lost and alone in a new city, he steels himself and begins by passing right by the very object of his search. Hilarity ensues: the man proceeds to knock at the doors of an off-duty cab, a helicopter, a halal cart, and other vehicles increasing in their absurdity, willing to try anything to find his Uber.Paired with illustrations by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell, co-illustrator of Feminist Fight Club, Sarah Dooley''s hilarious imagined story is as ridiculous as it is relatable.

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Book SynopsisMarilyn Monroe - with her hourglass curves and blonde waves - was destined to become a Hollywood icon and the archetype for 1950s fashion. This book features archival photographs and savvy fashion quips. It lets you 'Punch Out and Play' with each fabulously dressed Marilyn Monroe to create twelve paper dolls in different poses.

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Book SynopsisAgainst all odds, the Donald doesn''t appear to be going away anytime soon. In fact, Trump''s chances of continuing to lead the Republican field remain strong with each passing week, and it''s scary as hell.In PRESIDENT TRUMP, the special collector''s edition magazine, readers will uncover the full range of President Trump''s plans (such as they are) for the nation''s highest office. From the Inauguration to the new Cabinet of highly inappropriate members; and the repurposing of the White House, to hot topic issues such as immigration, readers will quickly learn why the hardest and scariest words in the English language are: Elected!

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Book Synopsis'Funny, despite bloody everything' - Charlie BrookerAn indispensable handbook to see the nation through lockdown, breakdown and meltdown. As Britain enters a period of tremendous upheaval, your government has requested that everyone immediately undertake a series of life-style changes that may test the nation's resolve.Most of it is simple common-sense, but common-sense may be new to you, especially if you are young, wistful or an imbecile.Indeed, it should be noted that much of what is to come in the weeks and months (and months) ahead will be new to us all. But let us remember that, not so long ago, the same was true of pesto.We must not lose heart. With stoicism, courage and a substantial supply of alcoholic fortification, we will pull through this together and emerge from it a stronger (or weaker but more experienced) nation.Sir Clement Apricot-Wilson,Permanent SecretaryThe Department of Unforeseen CircumstancesTrade ReviewThis tongue-in-cheek handbook to see us beyond lockdown covers everything from working from home to persuading your family to heed advice * My Weekly *

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Book SynopsisPlan your next trip to the planet Vulcan with Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan! Find restaurants that serve the best fried sandworms and Vulcan port. Take a trip to the Fire Plains or experience spring break at the Voroth Sea. Learn all about the native Vulcan people and their unusual customs. Discover how to correctly perform the traditional Vulcan salutation (you really don’t want to get this wrong). Learn key Vulcan phrases such as Nam-tor puyan-tvi-shal wilat: “Where is your restroom?” Find out what to do if you suddenly find yourself host to a katra—a Vulcan’s living spirit—at an inconvenient moment. All this and more can be found within the pages of this essential travel guide to one of the most popular—and logical—destinations in the known universe.Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan draws on 50 years of Star Trek TV shows, films, and novels to present a comprehensive guide to Spock’s iconic home world. Modeled after real-world travel guides, the book will explore every significant region on Vulcan with fascinating historical, geographical, and cultural insights that bring the planet to life like never before. Also featuring a dynamic mixture of classic Star Trek imagery and original illustrations created exclusively for the book, Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan is the perfect way to celebrate 50 years of Star Trek and will thrill pop culture fans and hardcore Star Trek fans alike.

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Book SynopsisAn activity/colouring book for fans of the Henry & Glenn Forever series.

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Book SynopsisExactly eight hundred years ago, Magna Carta established the right not to be thrown in the Tower of London for being slightly irritating, which is the closest we've ever got to a written constitution. But come on! Things have moved on since King John. Isn't it time we had another bash at setting down a few laws and principles for us all to live by? Isn't it time we knew how to queue properly, how to banter within the limits of decency, how to handshake in a regal fashion, how to appropriately and committedly observe the weather, and how to competitively own pets?It will no doubt confuse the Taliban, perplex the Americans and move the French to shrug their shoulders and say bof, but for the good people of this island, this first draft of the British Constitution sets out and celebrates the very best bits of being British.

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Book SynopsisThis engaging collection of letters gives a quirky picture of family life in Britain under fifteen years of rationing. Everyone and almost everything was affected, from pets to fashion, corsets and turn-ups, to cigarettes, restaurants, heating and petrol, and the availability of fruit, eggs, vegetables and bread, and much more. Millions of people coped with what they had. With direct candour, they wrote letters when they thought improvements could be made, right from the start of rationing, in 1939, until all restrictions were lifted in 1954. In these amusing, honest, surprising, poignant and occasionally hilarious letters you'll find anything from concerns about socks for the Home Guard, children holding up a banana skin for a refill at the greengrocer's, to fear of pets choking when rubber bands reappeared after the War. Slip back in time and enjoy!Table of ContentsIntroduction, Esther Rantzen 71 Ration Fashion 13 2 Pet Peeves 28 3 Querulous Queues 354 Hail the Housewives 42 5 Restaurant Roast 60 6 Poisonous Pleasures 67 7 Curdled Milk 77 8 Eggspectations 86 9 Onions and Oranges 97 10 Meagre Meat 107 11 Fish or Fowl 121 12 Sweeter Living 127 13 Light and Coal 139 14 Hitler's Secret Weapon 152 15 Christmas Cheer 161 16 Johnny Foreigner 168 17 Unfair Play 174 18 And Another Thing 186Notes 192

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Book SynopsisEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: is it possible to get a good gluten-free cream tea?Julian, Anne, Dick, George and Timmy are all feeling really rather rum, and it's been going on for days. Nothing seems to work, and with their doctors mystified, they're driven to trying out various expedients to cure themselves. Julian goes online to self-diagnose that he's got pancreatic cancer, bird flu and Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Anne decides that the old methods are the best and decides to have herself exorcised - which proves to be an awful lot of bother for everyone, and such a mess. Dick goes to a witch-doctor who calls himself a 'homeopath' ('sounds only one short of sociopath, Dick!') but it's George who discovers they need to go on an exclusion diet, so they enter a world of hard-to-find, maddeningly expensive specialist foods . . .Just perfect for anyone who likes Deliciously Ella, Amelia Freer and the Naturalista - as well as any reluctant partners who are begrudgingly spiralising courgettes for dinner.

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Book SynopsisEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront possibly their toughest challenge yet: parenthoodBringing up a baby would surely be kid's play for The Five. How hard could it possibly be?! When the doorbell rings one Saturday afternoon, the last thing the Five were expecting to find on their doorstep was a baby... But the Five are next of kin to Cousin Rupert and his wife, so when they find themselves in a spot of bother and are destined for a short spell behind bars, Anne, Dick, George and Anne are the first port of call. First, it's the fear and the tiredness that kicks in. They are terrified at being responsible for this new life and have no idea they're doing it right. Why is it crying? They use Dr Google constantly, who whatever the situation offers the same range of advice from 'don't worry about it' to 'rush her to the A&E'. 'Why is she crying?' they constantly ask. 'Why?' It keeps them up all night every night, until they are reduced to walking ghosts, haunted by a numb and impotent fury. Is this an adventure too far for our Five?

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Book SynopsisThe Joy of Photoshop is the long-awaited book from the social media sensation James Fridman.Have you ever taken a seemingly perfect picture only to have it ruined by one tiny detail? Photoshop master James Fridman is only too happy to help, even if he sometimes takes requests a little too literally.The Joy of Photoshop contains James's best-loved and funniest image alterations. From the woman who wished to look like a mermaid, to super-fans who want to be edited into their favourite movies, his followers never get quite what they asked for. Including plenty of never-before-seen pictures, this meme-tastic book will have you in stitches!Table of ContentsThe Joy of Photoshop contains more than 150 hilarious of images providing pure photographic pleasure, including many created specifically and exclusively for the book.

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Book SynopsisFrom marital bliss to man flu, husbands are jolly good fellows, and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about marriage.The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards.Perfect as a birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Father's Day gift for long-suffering husbands everywhere.Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of Dad, The Wit and Wisdom of Mum and The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife.

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Book SynopsisFrom parenting to prosecco, mums are jolly smashing and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions capture everything to love about motherhood.The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards.Perfect as a birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day gift for long-suffering mums everywhere.Also available: The Wit and Wisdom of the Wife, The Wit and Wisdom of Grandma, The Wit and Wisdom of Wine, The Wit and Wisdom of Prosecco, The Wit and Wisdom of the Husband and The Wit and Wisdom of Grandad.

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Book SynopsisFrom parties to proposals, Prosecco is just spiffing and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions captures everything to love about a glass of bubbly.The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cards.Also available:The Wit and Wisdom of MumThe Wit and Wisdom of DadThe Wit and Wisdom of the HusbandThe Wit and Wisdom of the WifeThe Wit and Wisdom of WineThe Wit and Wisdom of Beer

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Book SynopsisFrom hairstyles to heartbreak, sisters are jolly spiffing and this tip-top collection of retro photos and frightfully funny captions captures everything to love about the trials and tribulations of having a sister.The Wit and Wisdom of... is a series of terrifically humorous books for adults brought to you by the rip-roaringly funny folks behind the best-selling On-the-Ceiling greetings cardsAlso available:The Wit and Wisdom of BrotherThe Wit and Wisdom of GrandmaThe Wit and Wisdom of GrandadThe Wit and Wisdom of MumThe Wit and Wisdom of DadThe Wit and Wisdom of the WifeThe Wit and Wisdom of the HusbandThe Wit and Wisdom of BeerThe Wit and Wisdom of WineThe Wit and Wisdom of ProseccoThe Wit and Wisdom of Gin

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Book SynopsisMany musical and theatrical traditions walk the very narrow path between the sublime and the ridiculous, but perhaps none more so than opera, which, while maintaining an elegant reputation, makes a show out of princes making romantic speeches to soft fruit, noses being accidentally cut off and woodpeckers performing wedding ceremonies. Opera Obscura is a beautifully illustrated collection that contributes twenty-five brand new impossibly madcap operas to the canon of magnificent absurdities, along with the intricate blueprints for several incredible opera houses and information on of a whole range of almost unbelievably incredible instruments.

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Book SynopsisA lot of leather has 'plunk-plicked' against willow since cricket was first played on the village greens of Olde England, but this doughty little book heroically manages to capture the true essence of the noble ball game in just 100 run-grabbing moments (plus a few extras for overthrows). This is the story of cricket as it has never been told before: a well tossed-up compilation of surreal match reports, spoof correspondence and quirky cartoons. From a Great Victorian refusing to walk (even though his bails have been knocked off by the bowler) to modern-day sledgers playing floodlit pyjama cricket, the game's towering achievements, hilarious happenings and ludicrous coincidences are entertainingly recalled. The book's title says it all: which other sport would have Silly positions in the field? For those who don't know, silly mid-off (facing the batsman) & silly mid-on (behind him) field within a couple of metres of the man at the crease as he flails at the ball, delivered at 140kmh, using a 1kg wooden bat. Table of ContentsWG Grace • The Bodyline Tour • Wars of the Roses • Don Bradman • Denis Compton • Neil Harvey • Lord Ted • Monkeys in the gully • Jim Laker • Lillian Thomson • Gillette Cup • Dolly and Apartheid • Deadly Derek • Chuckers and pie-throwers • 'Sir Geoff' • Kerry Packer's Circus • Big Bird • Ian Botham • Windies 'Blackwash' • Mike Gatting • The Headingley Comeback • Lara's 501 • Hansie Cronje • Shane Warne • Freddie Flintoff • Kevin Pietersen • Players Walkout • DRS.

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Book SynopsisThis is the story of golf as it's never been told before. A dog-legged compilation of sports reports, spoof correspondence and reminiscences from pros, caddies, playing partners and armchair pundits: Mary Queen of Scots cheers herself up at the links at Leith following the murder of her husband Lord Darnley; Dwight D. Eisenhower's valet shoots the breeze as he clears up the Oval Office following a particularly gruelling Presidential putting practice session; Bob Hope's chauffeur experiments with some one-liners whilst waiting for his boss in the clubhouse car park; and John Daly's local bartender describes the unique skills of his best customer. The albatrosses, the Big Berthas, the yips and the holes-in-one that have provided the perfect excuse to linger at the nineteenth hole are amusingly recalled for the delectation of the Fair Isle sweater brigade.Table of ContentsMary Queen of Scots * James IV of Scotland * Rembrandt * Tarby * President Eisenhower * Bing Crosby * Nick Faldo * Lee Trevino * The R&A * Sun City crocodiles * St Andrews * Anika Sorenstam * Augusta, Georgia * Golf on the Moon * Tony Jacklin * The Pro-Am circuit * Frenchman in the water * Golf buggies * Big Bertha and Mashie Niblick * Knickerbockers * P.G. Wodehouse * Tiger * The Golden Bear * Seve * Arnie's Army * Greg Norman * Nick Faldo * How a Chicago Cop won the Ryder Cup for Europe * Ollie's tears * Rory McIlroy.

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Book SynopsisIn 1878 Gustave Flaubert looked on in horror as his publisher picked up a manuscript from the mysterious stage actress Sarah Bernhardt and published it in place of a new edition of his latest work, and watched it go on to become an instant bestseller, achieving international fame. Narrated by a chair in a hot-air balloon, In the Clouds is a light-hearted, humorous tale that follows a character reminiscent of Bernhardt through the skies above Paris. Sadly the story sunk into obscurity, lying out of print in the English language for much of the twentieth century. Featuring the original illustrations by Georges Clairin, and in a fresh edit of the first English translation, this edition seeks to bring the tale to a new generation of readers.Trade Review'Apart from its highly original premise… its jaunty style proved her to be a lively, amusing writer.' (Robert Gottlieb)Table of ContentsIn the Clouds, Note on the Text and Illustrations, Notes, Biographical Note

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Book SynopsisThese impossibly cheerful essays on the routine horrors of the present era explain everything from the resurgence of measles to the fiasco of the US presidency.

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Book SynopsisWe’re inundated with advice on how to cut back on our screen time, and urged instead to embrace nature, human relationships and being present in the moment. But has anyone actually considered those realities? They sound like a lot of work. In her new book, Jennifer McCartney gives thanks for phones, iPads, laptops, the menu tablets at Chili’s and all screens everywhere. We can now follow a baby alpaca on a webcam, watch a viral video on TikTok, find an ex on Facebook, measure our pupillary distances, answer any question without engaging our brains—there’s so much to learn; with little to no effort. The Internet practically runs itself! We use it for work, for family, for research. We’re really, really good at being online! And that’s something to celebrate. With her usual balance of pithy wisdom, aptitude tests and hilarious commentary, McCartney embraces our new reality. After all, as Descartes might have said, “I scroll, therefore I am.”Trade Review"According to Jennifer McCartney... there is a hefty defence to be mounted in favour of our mass screen addiction, one she embraces so passionately she even takes a moment to praise the menu tablets at the international restaurant chain Chili's." -- Polly Vernon - The Times

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Book SynopsisThe horror of the First World War brought out a characteristic response in a group of English artists, who resorted to black humour. Among these, John Hassall, a pioneering British illustrator and creator of the influential 'Skegness is so bracing' poster, holds a special place. Early in the war, he hit on the idea of drawing a parody of the Bayeux Tapestry to satirize German aggression and add to the growing genre of war propaganda. Taking the scheme of the famous tapestry which celebrates William the Conqueror’s invasion of England, Hassall uses thirty pictorial panels to tell the story of Kaiser Wilhem II’s invasion of Luxembourg and Belgium. In mock-archaic language he narrates the progress of the German army, never missing an opportunity to lampoon ‘bad’ behaviour: ‘Wilhelm giveth orders for frightfulness.’ The caricatured Germans loot homes, make gas from Limburg cheese and sauerkraut, drink copious amounts of wine and shamefully march through Luxembourg with ‘women and children in front.’ With comic inventiveness Hassall adapts the borders of the original to illustrate the stereotypical objects with which the English then associated their enemy: they are decorated with schnitzel, sausages, pilsner, wine corks and wild boar. Drawn with Hassall’s distinctive flat colour and striking outlines, Ye Berlyn Tapestrie is a fascinating historical example of war-induced farce, produced by a highly talented artist who could not then have known that the war was set to last for another two years. Together with an introduction which sets out the historical background of its creation, every page of this rarely seen publication is reproduced here in a fold-out concertina, just like the original, to resemble the style of the Bayeux Tapestry.

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Book Synopsis The secret to living a better, deeper, more fulfilling life. Or at least, the secret to chilling out just a tiny bit.

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