Parodies and spoofs: non-fiction Books

Book SynopsisFor fans of the Netflix sensation comes the self-help book no aspiring viscountess should be without.Grosvenor Square, sometime after 1813Dearest reader,The social season is upon us! And whether you marriage-minded misses shall be considered a diamond or a doorstop shall soon be determined.But panic not, dear ladies, for you shall find all the advice you so desperately need within these pages. Receive instruction on how to perfect the feigned swoon; the optimal height your breasts can be squashed to; just how many feathers in your headdress is too many; and why you should never enter a maze at night unaccompanied (unless you're sure to be compromised by a sexy Duke and forced into marrying him).In short, you shall learn how to be more Bridgerton.Yours truly,Duchess WibberfluffleTrade Review‘Thank you, Duchess Wibberfluffle! Without your chapter on love-making for innocents I should have never known how a lady came to be with child. But more detailed instruction would have been appreciated.’ – Eloise Bridgerton ‘My eighth season and I’ve finally found a match thanks to your fabulous book. He’s no catch but my family have finally stopped calling me ‘the disappointment’. Couldn’t recommend more highly.’ – Baroness Berbrooke ‘She’s a fraud. I doubt she even has wisteria around her house. AVOID.’ – Lady Whistledown

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Book SynopsisFrom Harvard''s legendary humor publication comes an outrageous, uproariously funny parody of Game of Thrones, in the tradition of their previous bestselling parody book classics Bored of the Rings, Nightlight, and The Hunger Pains. An affectionate but take-no-prisoners send-up of the massive literary and television franchise, Lame of Thrones offers fans a way of reentering the fictional world they have come to love and merrily explodes all of its conventions -- as well as their expectations of the characters -- to hilarious ends. It may even leave you more satisfied than the actual TV ending of Game of Thrones. In fact, if it doesn''t the Lampoon has really dropped the ball. Lame of Thrones will take you to Westopolis, where several extremely attractive egomaniacs are vying to be ruler of the realm and sit on the Pointy Chair. Our hero Jon Dough was a likely bet, but his untimely murder at the hands of his own men of the Night''s Crotch has made that seem less likely. Will Dragon Queen Dennys Grandslam escape from her Clothkhaki captors and return to conquer the world? Or will she just get left in the desert counting grains of sand for the rest of the book? And what about Jon Dough''s siblings? Will they be mentioned? Probably? Almost definitely, yes? It would be weird if they weren''t prominent characters in the book, you say? To find out, read the book you wish George R.R. Martin would write but never will. The Lampoon -- the place where such comedy writers and performers as Conan O''Brien, Colin Jost, B.J. Novak, Patricia Marx, Alan Yang, Andy Borowitz and many more all got their start -- is ready to serve parody notice to the most entertaining, infuriating, and inescapable cultural phenomenon of the past decade.

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Book Synopsis''He''s a total rock ''n'' roller. There''s a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.'' Noel GallagherHe may be football''s latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he''s rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he''s hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected.*not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli

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Book SynopsisCompiled from the notes of three zombie gnome experts (among them a Van Helsing-like zombie gnome hunter, a horticulture student, and a gardening columnist), this guide includes a detailed study of zombie gnome habits, hiding places, and offensive tactics, as well as an intimate history of the zombie gnome rise and eventual war with humanity. Empty-eyed, shambling, and hungry for human ankles, the zombie gnome population is on the rise, infesting the backyards of suburbia and attacking innocent lawn ornaments everywhere. While chances of human survival are minimal, readers can arm themselves with TheZombie Gnome Defense Guide to combat their tiny, undead enemies. Offering strategies for defense against a zombie gnome invasion, the book provides an extensive list of essential weapons and DIY home-fortification tips. Rare illustrations of zombie gnomes in their natural habitat and a priceless collection of never-before-seen photos (housed in an envelo

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Book SynopsisWe''ve all been there. You call an Uber. The app says it has arrived, but . . . where is it? Where is your Uber?Are You My Uber? is a 21st Century parody of the 1960 P.D. Eastman children''s book Are You My Mother? A man steps off the midnight bus at Port Authority. His name? Unknown. His goal? To find his Uber, an elusive Ford Taurus. Lost and alone in a new city, he steels himself and begins by passing right by the very object of his search. Hilarity ensues: the man proceeds to knock at the doors of an off-duty cab, a helicopter, a halal cart, and other vehicles increasing in their absurdity, willing to try anything to find his Uber.Paired with illustrations by Hilary Fitzgerald Campbell, co-illustrator of Feminist Fight Club, Sarah Dooley''s hilarious imagined story is as ridiculous as it is relatable.

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Book SynopsisMarilyn Monroe - with her hourglass curves and blonde waves - was destined to become a Hollywood icon and the archetype for 1950s fashion. This book features archival photographs and savvy fashion quips. It lets you 'Punch Out and Play' with each fabulously dressed Marilyn Monroe to create twelve paper dolls in different poses.

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Book SynopsisAgainst all odds, the Donald doesn''t appear to be going away anytime soon. In fact, Trump''s chances of continuing to lead the Republican field remain strong with each passing week, and it''s scary as hell.In PRESIDENT TRUMP, the special collector''s edition magazine, readers will uncover the full range of President Trump''s plans (such as they are) for the nation''s highest office. From the Inauguration to the new Cabinet of highly inappropriate members; and the repurposing of the White House, to hot topic issues such as immigration, readers will quickly learn why the hardest and scariest words in the English language are: Elected!

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Book Synopsis'Funny, despite bloody everything' - Charlie BrookerAn indispensable handbook to see the nation through lockdown, breakdown and meltdown. As Britain enters a period of tremendous upheaval, your government has requested that everyone immediately undertake a series of life-style changes that may test the nation's resolve.Most of it is simple common-sense, but common-sense may be new to you, especially if you are young, wistful or an imbecile.Indeed, it should be noted that much of what is to come in the weeks and months (and months) ahead will be new to us all. But let us remember that, not so long ago, the same was true of pesto.We must not lose heart. With stoicism, courage and a substantial supply of alcoholic fortification, we will pull through this together and emerge from it a stronger (or weaker but more experienced) nation.Sir Clement Apricot-Wilson,Permanent SecretaryThe Department of Unforeseen CircumstancesTrade ReviewThis tongue-in-cheek handbook to see us beyond lockdown covers everything from working from home to persuading your family to heed advice * My Weekly *

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Book SynopsisPlan your next trip to the planet Vulcan with Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan! Find restaurants that serve the best fried sandworms and Vulcan port. Take a trip to the Fire Plains or experience spring break at the Voroth Sea. Learn all about the native Vulcan people and their unusual customs. Discover how to correctly perform the traditional Vulcan salutation (you really don’t want to get this wrong). Learn key Vulcan phrases such as Nam-tor puyan-tvi-shal wilat: “Where is your restroom?” Find out what to do if you suddenly find yourself host to a katra—a Vulcan’s living spirit—at an inconvenient moment. All this and more can be found within the pages of this essential travel guide to one of the most popular—and logical—destinations in the known universe.Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan draws on 50 years of Star Trek TV shows, films, and novels to present a comprehensive guide to Spock’s iconic home world. Modeled after real-world travel guides, the book will explore every significant region on Vulcan with fascinating historical, geographical, and cultural insights that bring the planet to life like never before. Also featuring a dynamic mixture of classic Star Trek imagery and original illustrations created exclusively for the book, Hidden Universe: Star Trek: A Travel Guide to Vulcan is the perfect way to celebrate 50 years of Star Trek and will thrill pop culture fans and hardcore Star Trek fans alike.

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Book SynopsisAn activity/colouring book for fans of the Henry & Glenn Forever series.

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Book SynopsisExactly eight hundred years ago, Magna Carta established the right not to be thrown in the Tower of London for being slightly irritating, which is the closest we've ever got to a written constitution. But come on! Things have moved on since King John. Isn't it time we had another bash at setting down a few laws and principles for us all to live by? Isn't it time we knew how to queue properly, how to banter within the limits of decency, how to handshake in a regal fashion, how to appropriately and committedly observe the weather, and how to competitively own pets?It will no doubt confuse the Taliban, perplex the Americans and move the French to shrug their shoulders and say bof, but for the good people of this island, this first draft of the British Constitution sets out and celebrates the very best bits of being British.

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Book SynopsisThis engaging collection of letters gives a quirky picture of family life in Britain under fifteen years of rationing. Everyone and almost everything was affected, from pets to fashion, corsets and turn-ups, to cigarettes, restaurants, heating and petrol, and the availability of fruit, eggs, vegetables and bread, and much more. Millions of people coped with what they had. With direct candour, they wrote letters when they thought improvements could be made, right from the start of rationing, in 1939, until all restrictions were lifted in 1954. In these amusing, honest, surprising, poignant and occasionally hilarious letters you'll find anything from concerns about socks for the Home Guard, children holding up a banana skin for a refill at the greengrocer's, to fear of pets choking when rubber bands reappeared after the War. Slip back in time and enjoy!Table of ContentsIntroduction, Esther Rantzen 71 Ration Fashion 13 2 Pet Peeves 28 3 Querulous Queues 354 Hail the Housewives 42 5 Restaurant Roast 60 6 Poisonous Pleasures 67 7 Curdled Milk 77 8 Eggspectations 86 9 Onions and Oranges 97 10 Meagre Meat 107 11 Fish or Fowl 121 12 Sweeter Living 127 13 Light and Coal 139 14 Hitler's Secret Weapon 152 15 Christmas Cheer 161 16 Johnny Foreigner 168 17 Unfair Play 174 18 And Another Thing 186Notes 192

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Book SynopsisEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: is it possible to get a good gluten-free cream tea?Julian, Anne, Dick, George and Timmy are all feeling really rather rum, and it's been going on for days. Nothing seems to work, and with their doctors mystified, they're driven to trying out various expedients to cure themselves. Julian goes online to self-diagnose that he's got pancreatic cancer, bird flu and Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Anne decides that the old methods are the best and decides to have herself exorcised - which proves to be an awful lot of bother for everyone, and such a mess. Dick goes to a witch-doctor who calls himself a 'homeopath' ('sounds only one short of sociopath, Dick!') but it's George who discovers they need to go on an exclusion diet, so they enter a world of hard-to-find, maddeningly expensive specialist foods . . .Just perfect for anyone who likes Deliciously Ella, Amelia Freer and the Naturalista - as well as any reluctant partners who are begrudgingly spiralising courgettes for dinner.

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Book SynopsisEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront possibly their toughest challenge yet: parenthoodBringing up a baby would surely be kid's play for The Five. How hard could it possibly be?! When the doorbell rings one Saturday afternoon, the last thing the Five were expecting to find on their doorstep was a baby... But the Five are next of kin to Cousin Rupert and his wife, so when they find themselves in a spot of bother and are destined for a short spell behind bars, Anne, Dick, George and Anne are the first port of call. First, it's the fear and the tiredness that kicks in. They are terrified at being responsible for this new life and have no idea they're doing it right. Why is it crying? They use Dr Google constantly, who whatever the situation offers the same range of advice from 'don't worry about it' to 'rush her to the A&E'. 'Why is she crying?' they constantly ask. 'Why?' It keeps them up all night every night, until they are reduced to walking ghosts, haunted by a numb and impotent fury. Is this an adventure too far for our Five?

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