Humour Books

Book SynopsisThey roam our hills and wander our country lanes; graze in our valleys and frolic in our fields. Sheep have lived happily beside us in Ireland for some five thousand years it's no wonder they're an unofficial national symbol. Celebrate our wonderful woolly friends, who not only fill our meadows, but also our history and our hearts.

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Book Synopsis@KidsWriteJokes brings you over 150 crazy, entertaining and hilarious jokes written by kids! Answering questions you've always wanted to know, like...Q. Why does mums get so angry A. beacuse when she sends you to your rhoom she can read a fashion book The best knock knock jokes... knock knock toilet to the rescue The horror jokes you didn't know you wanted but now need...it was a dark and creepy night there was a black and white figure in the forest it was a cow.And some of the weirdest gags you'll ever hear...Q. What do you call a freak horse?A. JessicaUtterly original and completely hilarious - Kids Write Jokes is charming, silly and fun, and the perfect book for anyone with a sense of humour!

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Book SynopsisWhat's the worst that can happen?Are there aliens out there somewhere?What happens when I die?In Do You Know What?, our favourite sportsman-turned-comedian-slash-leftfield-thinker Freddie Flintoff expels an eclectic and entertaining smorgasbord of anecdotes, impressions, reflections, ruminations, musings, cogitations, observations, rants, confessions and pearls of wisdom on all aspects of life's rich tapestry.As a prolific philosopher of life's most unfathomable questions, Freddie uses his own inexplicable experiences - from the sublime: giving up booze, shopping in Poundland with his family, exploring the wonders of the universe with his mates; to the ridiculous: wrestling with WWE's finest, singing in a musical on the West End, pranking teammates - to help us all gain the comfort of his life mantra:What's the worst that can happen?Do You Know What? is an unexpectedly helpful, occasionally silly and absorbing brain dump on life and everything it holds, from one of Britain's most-loved national treasures.

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Book SynopsisThis is not a book of life lessons. But Freddie Flintoff has had a moment to reflect and he's noticed that throughout his four decades, although there's been little method in the madness, there has been the occasional common thread.The Book of Fred is filled with anecdotes, observations and the odd opinion all told with Fred's trademark humour and no-nonsense style. Fred's approach to life draws on the sublime (his series winning performance in the 2005 Ashes) and the ridiculous (singing Elvis Presley's 'Suspicious Minds' in front of a live audience), from highs (making the transition to top TV presenter) to occasional lows (accidentally upsetting the lovely Bruce Forsyth), from the profane (discussing Shane Warne's barnet with Hollywood royalty) to the profound (why 'having a go' leads to self-respect).Throughout, Fred shares his code for success, happiness and a life fully lived - and gives his readers a laugh, some joy, and (the occasional) pause for thought along the way.

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Book SynopsisWomen are like teabags. We don''t know our true strength until we are in hot water. - ELEANOR ROOSEVELT In their battle with adversity, many women have picked up inspiring truths that have helped them on their journey to success and happiness. This handy pocket book collects over 600 empowering, witty and thought-provoking quotations from women from across history, including activists, musicians, scientists, comedians, athletes and more. Hear from the likes of: • Jane Austen • Dorothy Parker • Maya Angelou • Helen Keller • Cleopatra • Rosa Parks These wise words include thoughts on sexuality, politics, success and more.

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Book SynopsisThe Book of Senior Moments introduces the reader to a wonderful collection of humorous anecdotes, confessions, tips, retorts and excuses to help you avoid those all too familiar senior moments.Have you ever referred to your oldest and closest friend as 'Thingy'? Reached the top of the landing, only to realize that you have no idea why you came upstairs in the first place? Congratulations - or commiserations - you've had your first senior moment!Fear not, for help is at hand. The Book of Senior Moments introduces the reader to a wonderful collection of these rites of passage, drawn from the experiences of everyone from politicians to pundits. It includes exit strategies for when you've been ambushed by your memory, as well as tips on how to avoid getting ambushed in the first place.Part guide, part humorous overview, and crammed with advice, examples, anecdotes, confessions, tips, retorts and excuses, this is an absolutely essential book for anyone growing long in the tooth and short of memory.

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Book SynopsisChristmas comes but once a year... and in the world of the grumpy bloke, that’s once too often! But turn that frown upside down with the hundreds of jokes and one-liners in this book of festive fun.There’s nothing like a good laugh to chase away the winter blues or cheer yourself up and, let’s face it, some people need it more than others! Make sure the grumpy bloke in your life is well entertained (even when he really doesn’t want to be) by the gags and jokes in this whopping compendium of Christmas funnies from a veritable master of the art, Nick Harris.From Christmas jumpers to sad-sack Santas and from broken tree lights to shocking Christmas dinners, there are jokes aplenty to raise a smile in even the grumpiest bloke ... okay then, a chortle ... the merest hint of an upturned lip ...? Oh, come on, it’s FUNNY!

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Book SynopsisThe Wicked Wit of England is a celebration of British humour, featuring a collection of stories, anecdotes, quips and quotes that capture the various idiosyncrasies of the English character.If there is one thing that first-time visitors to England find mystifying – along with our obsession with discussing the weather, our pride in making the perfect cup of tea, and our impossible-to-decipher slang – it is our unique sense of humour. Have you just been insulted? Or was the slight merely a demonstration of affection? Was that a genuine compliment? Or is the ever-present sarcasm in English conversation at work again? The dark, dry and often ironic humour of the English can be difficult to get your head around, but there’s no doubting its essentiality at the heart of English culture. As well as celebrating this classic humour, The Wicked Wit of England encompasses the various idiosyncrasies of the English character – the social awkwardness, the constant need to apologize, the stiff upper lip, and the love of queuing, to name but a few. Containing a varied collection of stories, anecdotes, quips and quotes featuring English people from all walks of life, from Quentin Crisp to Frank Skinner and Stephen Hawking to Thora Hird, this book might not help outsiders fully understand the English, but it might help them tolerate us a little more.

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Book SynopsisWho wrote Only Fools and Horses? What is Rodney Trotter's middle name? What is the name of the actor who played Uncle Albert? When the first episode of Only Fools and Horses hit our screens in September 1981, the show became an instant classic. Over the years it has gone from strength to strength and is now widely regarded as one of the greatest British comedies of all time. Whether you are looking to spice up your pub quiz or really test your in-depth knowledge of the Trotters, The Only Fools and Horses Quiz Book is a welcome, quirky addition to the bookshelf of any fan that will keep you quizzing - and laughing - for hours on end.

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Book SynopsisFrom the past hidden in their paws to the future predicted by their leftover kibble, discover the true magic of cats in this hilarious guide to feline divination. Pawmistry is a tongue-in-cheek guide to the feline oracle and the supernatural signs your cat may leave behind. Written and illustrated by the beloved creator of Cat Tarot Megan Lynn Kott, this playful and informative book offers instruction in a number of types of divination to practice with your cat, where messages and portents may be delivered by scattered cat toys, particular tail positions, and sleeping on your face. What does that barf in your shoe really mean? You may even consider learning the dark magic of their litterbox leavings (if you dare). Each section includes write-in pages to record your own cat's messages from the universe, and a removable, fold-out Feline Divination Board included with the book will allow you to take your arcane partnership to the next level. MAKE CAT PLAY TIME PAWMISTRY TIME: Using the easy step-by-step instructions, turn your cat's daily routine into opportunities for mystical discovery. Play with toys to consult the oracles! Discover messages from the universe in leftover kibble! Dare to read the dark portents hidden in their litterbox! FOR CAT LOVERS: This is a unique gift for the "crazy cat person" in your life—even if it's yourself! Learn the mystical meanings behind the "slow blink" or the past hidden in your kitty's bean toes, and celebrate the magic of cats. DIY SHAREABLE CONTENT: Along with playful instructions and illustrations, the book also includes a fold-out Feline Divination Board—a talking board for cats—which not only makes for a fun interactive element, but also a perfect photo opportunity to share with friends. GREAT GIFT: This playful book is perfect for a birthday present, white elephant gift exchange, or to celebrate a new cat adoption. Add it to the shelf alongside You Need More Sleep: Advice From Cats by Francesco Marciuliano, Ask Baba Yaga by Taisia Kitaiskaia, and Crafting with Cat Hair by Kaori Tsutaya and Amy Hirschman.

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Book SynopsisCats have quite a few opinions, but with easy-to-follow instructions and helpful diagrams, this book will teach you how - and how not - to elicit approving purrs, mews, and chirps. From "The Booty Lift Pet" to the "I Need That Catnip on My Desk Yesterday Pet," learn over 20 tips and tricks to be the person your cat wants you to be. With bonus insights into cat sounds, body language, and more - as well as charming, full-color illustrations - this fun, lighthearted book will delight cat lovers of all kinds!

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Book Synopsis With an abundance of hilarious household tips,The Good Enough Guide to Better Living is a life-changing, timesaving, liberating guide to making the most out of doing the least at home.Cleaning, cooking, errands-it''s never-ending. It''s dreary. It''s tedious. But only if you''re doing it wrong. With room-by-room advice, this is the ultimate bar-lowering guide to good enough living. Inside, you''ll find tips and tricks for prioritizing your life and keeping your home (and yourself) happy:- Substitutes for all those fancy utensils you don''t have - A guide to the least killable houseplants - Maximizing the use of the clothing chair And so much more! By doing less, you too can live your dream life-or at least one that''s totally fine just the way it is. The best kind of self-improvement book, this anti-perfectionism guide gives you permission to give yourself a break while getting in some laughs!LAUGH-OUT-LOUD RELATABLE: Author Ali

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Book SynopsisThis flip book-style emo poetry generator is the perfect gift for anyone looking for a little early-to-mid-2000s nostalgia to soothe their deep, dark soul. Chock-full of playfully melancholic and angsty phrases reminiscent of emo internet poetry from the early millennium era, simply flip around different sections to yield over 150,000 unique three-line poems. So whether you've just run out of black eyeliner, lost your favorite pair of skinny jeans, or gotten blue hair dye all over your favorite My Chemical Romance tee, generate the perfect emo poem to adequately express your angst. Just in time for the current cultural emo revival, the Emo Poetry Generator is the perfect birthday and holiday gift for millennials who lived through the original era, as well as the Gen Z'rs who are bringing it back.

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Book SynopsisA perfect gift for mom, this humor poetry book celebrates the mother/child relationship, and how this relationship evolves as children grow up and become (or at least try to be) independent adults. Even as a grown-up, sometimes all we need is a hug from our mom-and access to their washing machine. Via fifty short, relatable poems, Mom, Can I Do My Laundry at Your House? celebrates the amazing people who raised us and support us, even when we're still siphoning their streaming services and going grocery shopping in their fully-stocked pantry well into adulthood. With poems ranging from cheeky to sweet, side-splitting to sincere, these poems are sure to make mom smile for Mother's Day, birthdays, holidays, and just because!

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Book Synopsis Flowers for when you love them . . . not. The ultimate guide to finding new and fragrant ways to channel your frustrations and fuel your revenge fantasies with some common (and not-so-common) vengeful plants, as well as suggested bouquets to blight your nemeses.Is there anything more savage than an archly composed bouquet? The Victorians didn’t think so, which is why their flower symbols weren’t just endearing—they were also cheeky, rude, and downright hostile. This illustrated floriography will help you choose the perfect Floral Estrangement for your situation, such as: The “Maybe You Shouldn't Have Given Me Your Phone Password” (Yellow Chrysanthemum, Birdsfoot Trefoil, Basil, Yellow Rose, Tansy) The “Still Thinking about the $1K I Spent to Be a Bridesmaid at Your Destination Wedding” (Black-Eyed Susan, Birdsfoot Trefoil, Delphinium, Orange Lily) The “His Mommy Iss

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Book SynopsisSee the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations – the perfect gift for any birthday girl or boy with more than a few candles on their cake So you’re a little bit older. So what? Just because you’re getting on a bit doesn’t mean you have to start acting ancient. The universe is over 13 billion years old, and you’re probably nowhere near that yet – well, not quite anyway. Frankly, it’s never too early to start enjoying your second childhood, to stop taking life so seriously and to start acting a bit silly again. This book will be your go-to guide for inspiration and merriment while clocking up birthdays like they’re going out of fashion. Across these pages, you’ll find all kinds of wild recommendations and questionable advice, including: Things it’s never too late to do Grown-up and less grown-up ways to behave at work How to keep up with modern technology Ways you can blend in with younger people Things you can have tantrums about as you get older So forget the creaking joints or fleeing follicles and embrace the opportunities for mischief and mirth – after all, growing old doesn’t mean growing up!

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Book SynopsisBritain’s best-loved basset hound returns in this all-new collection of witty cartoon strips from the Daily Mail Keep an eye on any unguarded sausages, because the gang is back! Join Fred and his friends as they embark on a whole new collection of lively adventures and light-hearted mischief, and prepare to discover the delights of life on four paws. Fred Basset first sauntered onto the pages of the Daily Mail in July 1963, and over more than half a century he has made himself a household name with readers all over the world. Nearly six decades after his debut, Fred and his friends continue to delight and entertain us with their trademark mix of wholesome humour, wry wit and shrewd observation. Their familiar faces and new adventures offer readers a source of comfort, contentment and amusement in our increasingly hectic, fast-paced world. This is classic Fred Basset and an essential read for all fans.

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Book SynopsisFeaturing comedic captions revealing what dogs are really thinking while they do their number twos, this eye-watering collection of photos is guaranteed to gross you out while cracking you up Dogs gotta defecate, just like people. But unlike us, they do it out in public. And we watch them in the act like the absolute weirdos we are. Sometimes we even take pictures. What must our canine companions think of all this? Well, Pooping Pets: The Dog Edition is here to capture and share these priceless moments in all their disgusting glory. Within its pages, you’ll find the private thoughts of dogs as they empty their bow-wow-wow-els, including: Hehehe, you’ll be picking this up in a minute! Err, could you not watch me while I birth this butt-log? Bears aren’t the only creatures that lay one out in the woods! Not for the faint-hearted, but the perfect gift for lovers of toilet humour, this poo-blication is a steaming tribute to the bodily functions of our four-legged friends.

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Book Synopsis'I'm listening.' For 11 seasons, that's how Dr. Frasier Crane answered the callers to his radio show, and viewers all around the world.Dr. Crane may not have been the most popular character on Cheers, nor would Kelsey Grammer have been the most likely of the show's stars to get his own series, yet between 1993 and 2004, Frasier was one of the most successful sitcoms in an era of all-time great shows.Frasier is still beloved by millions today, whether they're just discovering the radio shrink, his snooty brother, cranky father, kooky housekeeper, and sassy producer on streaming services, or whether they've tuned in to the Crane family's Shakespearean mayhem for the best part of almost 30 years.SAMPLE QUOTES: 'It may be an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes, but it's an absolute idiot that doesn't learn from other people's.' Frasier dispenses his best advice in 11 years while off the air.'I used to think there was some sort of mix-up at the hospital when Frasier was born. Of course, when Niles came along, it shot that theory all to hell.' - Martin Crane.Table of ContentsDr. Frasier Crane – 'It is the magic that is me' Dr. Niles Crane – 'A man of the great al fresco 'Martin Crane & Eddie – 'We call him Eddie Spaghetti' Daphne Moon – 'I must confess - I'm a bit psychic' Roz Doyle – 'She's smart and beautiful, moral and totally independent' KACL – 'Yakkety-yak, we talk back'

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Book SynopsisSince Chevy Chase first uttered the phrase 'Live from New York, it's Saturday night,' Saturday Night Live has grown from the vision of Canadian comedian Lorne Michaels to be a cultural institution.And while the early days of cocaine-fuelled all-night writing sessions have given way to the world's biggest names treading the boards in Studio 8H, SNL remains must-see TV and the ultimate goal of any aspiring young comedian.Everyone has a favourite cast member, a favourite sketch and a favourite quote. After 46 years on air, how could you not?SAMPLE QUOTE: 'In a brilliant move during closing arguments, Simpson attorney Johnnie Cochran put on the knit cap prosecutors say O.J. wore the night he committed the murders. Although O.J. may have hurt his case when he suddenly blurted out "Hey, hey, easy with that, that's my lucky stabbing hat!"' – As seen on quotes.net. Saturday Night Live (1975) - Norm MacDonald SAMPLE FACT: SNL hasn't just launched successful comedy careers: Oscar award-winning composer Howard Shore was the show's first musical director. Shore was a childhood friend of Lorne Michaels and went on to score The Lord of the RIngs films, among others.Table of ContentsThe 1970s - 'I would like to feed your fingers to the wolverines' • The 1980s - 'Gonna get in the hot tub' • The 1990s - 'Well la-dee-freakin'-da' • The 2000s - 'You're gonna want that cowbell!' • The 2010s - 'Any questions?'

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Book SynopsisThe Golden Girls: the show that changed American TV, found an audience all around the world, and made a global legend out of Betty White. 1985 was the year of Live Aid, Back to the Future and the Nintendo. It also saw the start of one of the most well-known and well-loved sitcoms of all time: The Golden Girls. With a cast comprising women over 50, the show was as groundbreaking as it was hilarious. Averaging 25 million viewers an episode – and counting the Queen Mother among them – the show is still ranked among the best US sitcoms ever. And it continues to find a new audience today in younger generations on streaming, with merchandise as popular as ever.Packed with quotes and facts, this little book is perfect for any Golden Girls fan.Table of ContentsThank You For Being A Friend - Learn how the show and characters came to be • 1651 Richmond Street - The girls never acted their age, as these quotes and facts show • Vänskapskaka - Exploring the girls' friendship • Once Upon a Time in Sicily - Quotes and facts about the characters before their lives in Shady Pines • Senioritis - A collection of the girls' finest senior moments • Golden Oldies - A celebration of each of the women.

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Book SynopsisWhat exactly is White Elephant Technology?White Elephant Technology is any unusual invention past or present that fails in the marketplace despite its innovative nature. From jeeps that fly to tanks that shouldn’t; from a wave-powered boat that took over three months to reach its destination to a jet-powered train that shook itself apart, White Elephant Technology showcases each inventor’s talent for creating something nobody asked for. Importantly, none of these inventions are speculative. Each one was built, field tested and worked more or less as planned (except when it killed its creator).Although success is highly prized, failure has a lot to teach us, especially when you realise it’s the rule and not the exception. Still, no one has undertaken a survey of failed inventions despite history being littered with them … until now. White Elephant Technology corrects this oversight in an entertaining, respectful and occasionally humorous manner, proving that failure is not only as fascinating as success but is also the purest expression of the human condition.Trade Review‘I read this book and loved it! There were so many inventions I’d never heard of. I only wish I’d read it before I started my museum.’ -- Dr Samuel West * Founder, Museum of Failure *'White Elephant Technology is a fascinating look at the wild, wacky, and downright weird contraptions concocted by inventors who couldn't leave well enough alone. Flying tanks, flying bikes, flying cars, swimming cars, train-planes, plane-trains, even a rail Zeppelin. They're dissected with a wit so dry you can almost hear the hapless tinkerers as they utter "Back to the drawing board.' -- Stuart Elliot * former New York Times columnist *

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Book SynopsisTHE SECOND BOOK FROM THE VIRAL TWITTER (X) @FESSHOLE'A ridiculously reliable source of joy, shock and horror' - James O'Brien'I sometimes read one of those fesses and wonder if I submitted it myself the night before, after a few beers' - James May The anonymous voices of the internet are back, ready to spill their deepest, darkest secrets and side-splitting faux pas.In this eagerly anticipated second coming, Rob Manuel has once again compiled the most jaw-dropping, knee-slapping, and cringe-inducing confessions out there.Prepare to immerse yourself in the seedy underbelly of human nature, where no secret is too taboo, no embarrassment is left unexplored, and laughter knows no bounds. Once again, the online world becomes an unexpected arena of collective catharsis, and this riotous read is an addictive deep dive into our shared guilt.This must have book contains favourite viral confessions, and a whole heap of new ones. After all, if you can't confide in strangers on the internet, who can you tell?Trade ReviewPuerile, reprehensible and very, very funny -- Adam KayI sometimes read one of those fesses and wonder if I submitted it myself the night before, after a few beers -- James MayA ridiculously reliable source of joy, shock and horror -- James O’BrienYou'll piss yourself laughing -- Daisy May CooperI love Fesshole. Every single one is a masterclass in storytelling -- Jay RaynerHilarious! The only guide any alien would need to find out what humans are really like -- David SchneiderThe wild, the wonderful, the frankly unbelievable and the downright disgusting. Under the anonymity of the internet people confess their most embarrassing secrets and it might not be good for their souls, but it's great for the readers! -- Richard K Herring

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Book SynopsisA collection of proverbs in the original Scots, and translated into English covering family, work, money, self-Improvement and food and drink amongst other topics. Scots proverbs tell it like it is, and provide advice for a myriad of situations. This pocketsize volume would make an excellent souvenir or a gift for any occasion.Trade ReviewWithout doubt Allan Ramsay is an unsung hero of Scottish poetry… It is fair to say without Ramsay there would be no Robert Burns. PROF. GERARD CARRUTHERS, University of GlasgowAllan Ramsay was not only a pioneer of the Romantic movement and a collector and editor of Scots songs; he was also a cultural innovator of the Enlightenment. PROF. MURRAY PITTOCK, University of Glasgow

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Book SynopsisA collection of proverbs in the original Gaelic, and translated into English covering family, work, money, self-Improvement and food and drink amongst other topics. Gaelic proverbs tell it like it is, and provide advice for a myriad of situations. This pocketsize volume will make an excellent souvenir or a gift for any occasion.

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Book Synopsis'If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.' One of the most prolific and respected playwrights of the twentieth century, Bernard Shaw's legacy shows no signs of waning, and his beautifully written plays, laced with wry wit and invective alike, have seen countless performances over the years, their finest lines paraded in literary conversation and review. Meticulously selected by Simon Mundy, the Wit and Acid series collects the sharpest lines from Shaw's oeuvre in small neat volumes, allowing the reader to sample some of the very best barbs and one-liners the twentieth century has to offer, and this, the second volume, covers lines from the great writer's works published after 1911. With an introduction by Simon Mundy, a poet, novelist, trenchant music critic and occasional playwright.

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Book SynopsisNever be lost for dirty words again with an insult for every day of the year If you've ever been angry at your commute, stubbed your toe or broken a glass, swearing can help you vent and make you feel just a little bit better. Now you can get creative with your expletives with this witty collection of vulgar and versatile words. In this side-splitting little book, you will be armed with a swear word for every occasion, and ready to curse whatever life throws at you. Learn a new profanity each day, broaden your rude vocabulary and express yourself in new and entertaining ways. With well-known swear words, dirty phrases from the past, and insults in foreign languages, this book is complete with all the things you've ever wanted to say but didn't have the words for. The perfect book for a foul-mouthed friend, A Swear A Day is the hilarious way to say what you're really thinking.

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Book SynopsisDiscover the secret to a long, happy marriage according to the Victorians in this hilarious guide to intimacy from 1894In 1894, Ruth Smythers, beloved wife of The Reverend L. D. Smythers, wrote these heartfelt words of advice for young brides entering into marriage:"One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly..."The Methodist wife didn't intend to be amusing, but this brief treatise written for young brides is side-splitting today and an eye-opener to how our love lives have changed in just over a century. This little book is:- Delightfully ridiculous to the modern eye- Accompanied by amusing engravings from the period- Filled with Victorian wisdom, which may be more timeless than it first appears!Whether you're looking for a saucy gift for a bride - or groom - to be, or a cheeky anniversary present, this little book is the perfect guide to entertain and inform any happy couple.

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Book SynopsisDo you want to be the wittiest man in the room with little to no effort? With Dad Joke Loading at your disposal, you'll be armed with an array of fool-proof (and foolish) dad jokes, all in the time it takes to turn the page. Watch your loved ones smile, laugh and cringe as you deploy the gags within - they're so bad, they're (almost) good!

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Book SynopsisThis second edition of Nicholas T. Parsons' The Joy of Bad Verse is accompanied by a new and expanded Introduction that considers the remarkable literary phenomenon of bad poetry down the ages and the remarkable chutzpah of its practitioners. It brings the theme up to date with the current eruption of "instapoetry" on Instagram, poetry happenings and other whimsical contributions to the tsunami of verse now washing over social media. This book celebrates such remarkable poets as Julia A. Moore, who was known as "The Sweet Singer of Michigan"; or Solyman Brown, the Laureate of American dentistry; or the Rev. E.E. Bradford whose wonderfully innocent raptures on (preferably naked) pubescent boys were praised by the Westminster Review as wholesome and uplifting. Of course the iconic figure of William McGonagall, "the Scottish Homer", is not neglected. To him and several others such as Martin Tupper, a forerunner of "Thought for the Day" and many an Anglican sermon, biographical sketches are dedicated. The chapter on "Limping Laureates" rescues from deserved obscurity several persons such as Alfred Austin who achieved this poorly remunerated, but sought after, status without actually being any good at writing poetry. In this world of wonders, wooden ideological verse (including the brown-nosing of political monsters in verse) jostles with banality, virtue-signalling and unintentional comedy. Not forgetting the contribution of real poets on an off day (Wordsworth's inimitable tribute to a stuffed owl), which, as the author says, lend a distinction to the genre. Auberon Waugh once lambasted modern poetry because it neither rhymed, scanned nor made sense. But here is a treasure trove of stuff to read out loud, stuff which mostly rhymes, if unfortunately, scans if the author was in the mood, and makes the sort of sense that leaves you gasping for more.

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Book Synopsis'Christian has achieved something very beautiful and funny with this book, weaving ordinary life and every day sadness into something hopeful and profound. I loved it.' Russell BrandAs a radio DJ in London, Christian O'Connell appeared to have it all. He held the number one spot nationally, with a faithful audience of millions who'd listened to him for years. Celebrities flocked to come on his show and no other radio DJ had won more awards.But not everything was as it seemed. Minutes before going live one morning, something happened that changed everything and led to a decision of seismic proportions. He quit his job, moved to the other side of the world, where no one knew him, and took on the toughest radio market in the world - Australia.Why? is the question he's been asked every day since landing Down Under. Until now he's never shared the real reason.No One Listens to Your Dad's Show is the story of Christian risking everything, uprooting his wife, two daughters and his dog to move to Australia. A move that lands him as a complete unknown in a country where, he soon finds out, no one wants to hear him on the radio.He was failing, fortysomething and falling apart.Until he wasn't.Trade ReviewChristian has achieved something very beautiful and funny with this book, weaving ordinary life and every day sadness into something hopeful and profound. I loved it. -- Russell BrandSmart and funny -- Ricky GervaisReading this book is like spending time with Christian. Funny and inspiring. -- Adam HillsTable of Contentsi: Prologue: My last show on air, London, May 2018 ii: Introduction: The story I don't want to tell you iii: PART ONE 1: The man in the shed 2: Son of Fonzie 3: Mind your language, Prime Minister 4: Halfway dead 5: Leslie and me 6: 'Every time you open your mouth, people will hate you.' iv: PART TWO 7: Come fail with me 8: Pets before dads 9: 520 hours to make it work 10: Nineteen-minute honeymoon 11: Clowns with feelings 12: Notes from Down Under 13: Neighbours 14: Embrace the suck 15: 'Try giving birth.' 16: The biggest decision I had to make 17: Meet my new nemesis 18: Notes from my wife 19: Home alone v: PART THREE 20: Life lessons in a boxing ring 21: Fudge Man save me 22: A disgusting man 23: New besties 24: I bought a house drunk 25: Replaced 26: Building the treehouse 27: The Peter Logan effect 28: Drives with my daughters 29: 'Man Walks into a Radio Station with Ten Thousand Dollars' 30: 'Who's Calling Christian?' vi: Epilogue What happened to me? vii: Some words from the girls viii: Thank-you note

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Book SynopsisEverything you need to know about men and their star signs but astrologers are too polite to tell you! Finally the truth is out! Why is Capricorn so boring? When will Scorpio stop playing mind games? What makes Libra think he's so perfect? And who on earth would want to mate with Aries? All is revealed in this, the ultimate astro-guide to every bastard under the sun.Join the women around the world whose love lives have been transformed by the astro-guide that pulls no punches when it comes to the dark side of men and their star signs. Use it to: Deride, ridicule and annoy the hell out of men. Speed up the dating process by using star sign elimination Avoid dating complete scum Keep current boyfriends/husbands in their place Keep conversation going at dinner parties This revised and updated edition also advises on who you are destined not to date. Find out,too,which zodiac couplings are the least likely to result in derision, depression, divorce or death! Are you good enough for a Leo? Can you get along with Gemini? Do you have the skills necessary to cope with Virgo? Put yourself to the test with our 12 compatibility quizzes - each one carefully designed to ensure you know exactly which bastards to avoid in the future. Thanks to HOW TO SPOT A BASTARD BY HIS STAR SIGN, men will now cringe when you ask them what their star sign is!Trade Review? . . . a wildly prejudiced account of the zodiac . . . refreshing? ? The Observer ?A hilarious guide for every starstruck girl? ? Daily Mirror ?Madcap? ? Company Magazine ?You ladies out there who may have a blemished love life might find it as useful as I did? ? Lisa Marie Presley

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Book SynopsisTake a pig, a fat-headed earl, a country house, several pairs of frustrated lovers, some scheming outsiders, and all sorts of people who aren’t who they say they are. Mix thoroughly and apply the Wodehouse magic. The result is the lightest of literary soufflées, another instalment in the long-running saga of the Threepwood family, including the head of the clan, Lord Emsworth, his virago sister, Lady Constance, and his debonair brother, the Honourable Galahad Threepwood, ex-boulevardier and solver of romantic problems.

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Book SynopsisJ. Wellington Gedge seems to have everything a man could desire: a rich wife, a chateau, a life of ease in the south of France. But all he really wants is to return to California, not least because Mrs Gedge, who holds the purse-strings, is scheming to have him appointed as American ambassador in Paris, which means he will have to wear a sissy uniform. Fortunately, her plans are thwarted by a complicated series of events which involves French aristocrats, American crooks, an English novelist and the appalling Senator Opal, whose daughter, Jane, has a mind of her own.

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Book SynopsisIt all starts with an umbrella, the best to be found in the Drones Club. From such an innocent beginning Wodehouse weaves a comic tale of suspense and romance involving one of his most distinctive early heroes, Ronald Eustace Psmith, monocled wit and devil-may-care boulevardier. Unusually for Wodehouse, this is not only a light comedy but also an adventure story in which crime and even gun-play drive the plot.

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Book SynopsisAlways to be found in the bar-parlour of the Angler's Rest where he is a favourite with the accomplished barmaid, Miss Postlethwaite, Mr Mulliner, the narrator of Meet Mr Mulliner, returns for another series of stories about his extraordinary relations, including Lancelot, Adrian, Cyril, Sacheverell, Eustace, Egbert and Augustine Mulliner. In a text teeming with tipsy bishops, angry baronets, lady novelists and haughty dowagers, the Mulliner boys always manage to come out on top.

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Book SynopsisWhen rich and imperious American widow Beatrice Chavender eats a forkful of inferior ham at her sister's country house near London, it affects the lives of everyone around her - her sister, her brother-in-law, her sister's butler, her sister's poor relation Sally, Sally's fiance Lord Holberton, and, most of all, Mrs Chavender's own one-time fiance, 'Ham King' J. B. Duff, whose rotten product spoils her breakfast.Trade Review"Wodehouse's idyllic world can never stale. He will continue to release future generations from captivity that may be more irksome than our own. He has made a world for us to live in and delight in." Evelyn Waugh; "He exhausts superlatives" Stephen Fry; "Pure word music" Douglas Adams; "The Everyman edition promises to be a splendid celebration of the divine Plum" The Independent; "The handsome bindings are only the cherry on top of what is already a cake without compare" Evening Standard; "A handsome, collectable hardback edition" Lynne Truss, The Times"

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Book SynopsisThe Little Nugget (1913) is one of the novels in which Wodehouse found his feet, a light comic thriller set in an English prep school for the children of the nobility and gentry. Into their midst comes eleven-year-old Ogden Ford, the mouthy, overweight, chain-smoking son of an American millionaire. Ogden (whom we meet again in Piccadilly Jim) is the object of a kidnap attempt which forms the basis of the plot. The comedy arises from Wodehouse's favourite topics of Anglo-American misunderstanding and the absurdities of school life.Trade Review"Wodehouse's idyllic world can never stale. He will continue to release future generations from captivity that may be more irksome than our own. He has made a world for us to live in and delight in." -- EVELYN WAUGH"He exhausts superlatives" -- STEPHEN FRY"Pure word music" -- DOUGLAS ADAMS"The Everyman edition promises to be a splendid celebration of the divine Plum" * THE INDEPENDENT *"The handsome bindings are only the cherry on top of what is already a cake without compare" * EVENING STANDARD *

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