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Book SynopsisWe're here. We're queer. And we're hilarious - not to mention eloquent, bitchy, poetic, incisive, shrill, luminous, and dead-on brilliant. "To Quote a Queer" gathers in one convenient, comprehensive volume more than 3,000 of the most pert, sinister, and illuminating pearls of wisdom ever uttered ...with a lisp. "To Quote a Queer" brings together the wisdom of Sir Elton John, Virginia Woolf, and Stephen Fry, the wit of Oscar Wilde and Billie Jean King, and the dramatic flair of Noel Coward and Karl Lagerfeld. Covering every known gay standby - from coming out and cruising to grooming, grilling, parents, and pets - this wickedly amusing book catches a host of topics in the queer crosshairs.

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Book SynopsisFrom the all-star cast who brought you The Seven Deadly Virtues comes a book with a look at the good life… or the crazy-stressful-overwhelmed life… of a father. The Dadly Virtues is a tongue-in-cheek collection of encouragement and guidance for any stage of fatherhood, from pacifying babies to prepping for senior prom, from cutting the cord to getting the first, “Best Grandpa” t-shirt. P.J. O’Rourke sets the stage with the chapter, “What Do Men Get from Fatherhood? Besides What They Put In …” and then is followed by: •Matthew Continetti’s, “Newborn Terror: The Moment You Realize that ‘Bundle of Joy’ Is a Euphemism for Something Very Different.” •Stephen F. Hayes’ “Siblings: The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give Your Kids.” •Jonah Goldberg’s “Get Your Kid a Dog: The Moral Case for Pets.” •Tucker Carlson’s “In Praise of Adventure: How to Fill a Child’s Life with Excitement and Danger (without Getting Them Killed).” •Michael Graham’s, “Dating: Enjoy the Movie and Please Keep the Impregnation to a Minimum.” •Christopher Caldwell’s “College: It’s Not as Bad as You Think; It’s Worse.” •Andrew Ferguson’s “Emerging Adults and Empty Nesters: Just When You Had Fatherhood All Figured Out.” •Toby Young’s “The Dark Side: Bad Parenting and the Things We Think, but Do Not Say.” •Joseph Epstein’s “Thanks, Grandpa: Grandfatherhood and the Spirit of the Age.” •And more. Father-to-be, two-time-dad, or granddad, each essay will make you laugh and, at the same time, reinforce your commitment to the virtuous—the dadly—life.Trade Review“To their kids, all fathers must eventually seem conservative. And old-fashioned, and perhaps even boring. But, politically speaking, is there a uniquely conservative way to be a dad? Weekly Standard senior writer Jonathan V. Last has edited an essay collection by 17 conservative writers, policy wonks and entertainers, all offering advice and reflections on the business of fatherhood.” — Carlos Lozada, Washington Post (May 7, 2015) “The book is a compilation of stories about fatherhood and is a refreshing change over all the books out there written from women’s perspective of parenting.” —Dr. Helen Smith, PJ Media (March 15, 2015 “Some of the country’s most highly-respected conservative journalists and opinion makers have come together and penned a new book. While these journalists are best known for their writings on political matters, this new book's subject is far more important. Parenting. More specifically, fatherhood.” — Dan Joseph, MRC TV (May 7, 2015)In the Fraternity of Dad, children haze their sires, who become men. Maybe. With one exception, each of the contributors to The Dadly Virtues is a member of the Frat of Dad and has stories about what he learned, what he wishes he’d known, and what he still doesn’t know. The book is arranged chronologically, from new fathers to grandfathers, but you should start with the final essay, Joseph Epstein’s reflections on being a single father and then helping raise his grandchildren. Amongst the frat, Epstein is the man, a mensch, the incredibly cool alumnus everybody wants to be—or at least write as well as. —Mike Hubbard, Ricochet“The Dadly Virtues takes a tongue-in-cheek approach to a subject with serious societal ramifications. It arrives at a time when fathers, and men in general, are often portrayed as bumbling and clueless—and, as Last notes in his introduction, ‘only 69 percent of kids (in America) live in a home with two parents.’ It contains some language that’s probably best not shared with younger children.” “The book covers all stages of fatherhood: expecting and experiencing a first child’s birth; seeing one’s family expand; dealing with children about religion, athletics, college, dating, marriage, and moving out on their own or back home; and eventually becoming a grandfather.” “The readers who might benefit most from the book are those about to be fathers. Describing it as ‘part instructional guide, part meditation, part war journal,’ Last writes: ‘It is, frankly, the book I wish I’d had back when my first child, Cody, was born.’” —Alan Wallace, TribLive “In the best-selling 2014 book The Seven Deadly Virtues, editor Jonathan V. Last makes a case for gratitude as the best of the virtues, surpassing justice, curiosity, prudence, and all others.” —Marty Wiggins, Tyler Morning Telegraph “What author Jonathan Last has assembled here is a distillation of what it means to be a father, told through the stories of fathers who happen to be gifted writers, as well as being absolutely hilarious. Each chapter has its share of funny war stories, but each also has some deep insights into the ups and downs of raising kids. There is timeless wisdom in these comical stories. Plus, this book has an essay by Matt Labash who many claim is the funniest writer in America these days. But don’t be surprised if your eyes get misty at the closing chapter on becoming a good grandfather.” —Sue Randleman, Crossville Chroncile "In the new book The Dadly Virtues, fathers - from all walks of life and from all stages of family life - share their insights about what being a father means to them. And they do it with a liberal dose of irreverent humor. . . . Every journey needs a journal, and The Dadly Virtues is an excellent collection of journal entries about the fatherhood journey. The book makes you think, laugh and remember; you can’t ask for much more than that." —Wayne Parker, About.com“Depending on the author, the humor ranges from quiet dry wit to don’t-drink-your-coffee-while-reading-because-you-will-snort-coffee-through-your-nose funny. P. J. O’Rourke’s chapter on how fatherhood turns men into adults will make you chuckle. Tucker Carlson’s exploration on filling your children’s lives with excitement and danger will make you laugh. So will Toby Young’s on bad parenting, Andrew Ferguson’s on empty nests, Rob Long’s on marriage, and Joseph Epstein’s on being a grandparent.”“The chapters are not just about jokes. Each dispenses wisdom about some aspect of fatherhood. Any dad who had gone through “the Talk” on sex with their children will identify with the embarrassment experienced by Matt Labash. You may not be as into shared experiences in television watching with your children as James Lileks, but he reminds you of some shared experience with your children.”“Fathers who have been through the experiences related by the authors will nod in agreement. Fathers who have yet to go through some aspect of fatherhood outlined will get useful pointers. The Dadly Virtues is out in time for Father’s Day. It is a book with application past Father’s Day. This book is one that will resonate throughout the year.” —Mark Lardas, Galveston County Daily News (June 7, 2015)“What do you get when you assemble an all-star cast of writers who have collectively experienced the many terrors and triumphs of fatherhood and have lived to write about it? You end up with The Dadly Virtues: Adventures From the Worst Job You’ll Ever Love. As the subtitle suggests, this book is a tongue-in-cheek portrait of the gory glory of fatherhood, containing plenty of side-splitting anecdotes and cultural critique with a dash of philosophical profundity. The editor, Jonathan Last, likens the book to ‘something of a Swiss army knife: part instructional guide, part meditation, part war journal’ (4) … . As a recent inductee to the fraternity of fatherhood, I am personally weary of the many formulaic books I have seen that treat fatherhood as though it’s a science to be conquered. If you’re like me, you’ll agree that the unfiltered and personal nature of The Dadly Virtues is its greatest strength. Last and company portray fatherhood less like a science and more like an art form in which hapless amateurs creep toward mastery through a process of trial and error. With each chapter, you’ll be treated to a strikingly intimate and refreshingly witty take on the real-life rigors and joys of fatherhood… . The Dadly Virtues is a refreshing look at the time-worn institution of fatherhood. After reading it, those of you who aren’t dads will wonder if you should ever become one, while those of us who are will wonder why we didn’t start sooner. In the words of Last, ‘If you aren’t otherwise engaged in some duty that precludes it—say, the priesthood—and you have the opportunity, then you should be a father. There is nothing more vexing, exhausting, noble, or manly. It’s the worst job you’ll ever love’ (15)… . Often side-splitting, sometimes tear-jerking, and always riveting, The Dadly Virtues will resonate with any father or father-to-be.” — Timothy Kleiser, the Gospel CoalitionTable of ContentsAcknowledgments / xi Introduction: On Fatherhood, Manliness, and Failure / 3 Jonathan V. Last Chapter 1: What Do Men Get from Fatherhood? Besides What They Put In … / 17 P. J. O’Rourke Chapter 2: Newborn Terror: The Moment You Realize That “Bundle of Joy” Is a Euphemism for Something Very Different / 25 Matthew Continetti Chapter 3: Siblings: The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give Your Kids / 36 Stephen F. Hayes Chapter 4: Television and Kids: The Beauty and Pain of TV / 45 James Lileks Chapter 5: Get Your Kid a Dog: The Moral Case for Pets / 58 Jonah Goldberg Chapter 6: In Praise of Adventure: How to Fill a Child’s Life with Excitement and Danger (Without Getting Them Killed) / 66 Tucker Carlson Chapter 7: Catechesis: Teaching Your Kid about God / 73 Larry Miller Chapter 8: Surviving School: It’s Just as Bad the Second Time Around / 84 Joe Queenan Chapter 9: Sports: Advice for the Care and Feeding of the Child-Athlete / 94 David Burge (aka Iowahawk) Chapter 10: The Dark Side: Bad Parenting and the Things We Think, but Do Not Say / 104 Toby Young Chapter 11: The Talk: The Birds and Bees Aren’t What They Used to Be / 113 Matt Labash Chapter 12: Dating: Enjoy the Movie and Please Keep the Impregnation to a Minimum / 127 Michael Graham Chapter 13: College: It’s Not as Bad as You Think; It’s Worse / 137 Christopher Caldwell Chapter 14: Emerging Adults and Empty Nesters: Just When You Had Fatherhood All Figured Out / 146 Andrew Ferguson Chapter 15: Love and Marriage: How to Talk to Your Kids about the Most Important Decision They’ll Ever Make / 156 Rob Long Chapter 16: Thanks, Grandpa: Grandfatherhood and the Spirit of the Age / 166 Joseph Epstein About the Contributors / 177

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Book SynopsisAn all-star team of eighteen conservative writers offers a hilarious, insightful, sanctimony-free remix of William Bennett’s The Book of Virtues—without parental controls. The Seven Deadly Virtues sits down next to readers at the bar, buys them a drink, and an hour or three later, ushers them into the revival tent without them even realizing it. The book’s contributors include Sonny Bunch, Christopher Buckley, David “Iowahawk” Burge, Christopher Caldwell, Andrew Ferguson, Jonah Goldberg, Michael Graham, Mollie Hemingway, Rita Koganzon, Matt Labash, James Lileks, Rob Long, Larry Miller, P. J. O’Rourke, Joe Queenan, Christine Rosen, and Andrew Stiles. Jonathan V. Last, senior writer at the Weekly Standard, editor of the collection, is also a contributor. All eighteen essays in this book are appearing for the first time anywhere. In the book’s opening essay, P. J. O’Rourke observes: “Virtue has by no means disappeared. It’s as much in public view as ever. But it’s been strung up by the heels. Virtue is upside down. Virtue is uncomfortable. Virtue looks ridiculous. All the change and the house keys are falling out of Virtue’s pants pockets.” Here are the virtues everyone (including the book’s contributors) was taught in Sunday school but have totally forgotten about until this very moment. In this sanctimony-free zone: • Joe Queenan observes: “In essence, thrift is a virtue that resembles being very good at Mahjong. You’ve heard about people who can do it, but you’ve never actually met any of them.” • P. J. O’Rourke notes: “Fortitude is quaint. We praise the greatest generation for having it, but they had aluminum siding, church on Sunday, and jobs that required them to wear neckties or nylons (but never at the same time). We don’t want those either.” • Christine Rosen writes: “A fellowship grounded in sociality means enjoying the company of those with whom you actually share physical space rather than those with whom you regularly and enthusiastically exchange cat videos.” • Rob Long offers his version of modern day justice: if you sleep late on the weekend, you are forced to wait thirty minutes in line at Costco. • Jonah Goldberg offers: “There was a time when this desire-to-do-good-in-all-things was considered the only kind of integrity: ‘Angels are better than mortals. They’re always certain about what is right because, by definition, they’re doing God’s will.’ Gabriel knew when it was okay to remove a mattress tag and Sandalphon always tipped the correct amount.” • Sonny Bunch dissects forbearance, observing that the fictional Two Minutes Hate of George Orwell’s 1984 is now actually a reality directed at living, breathing people. Thanks, in part, to the Internet, “Its targets are designated by a spontaneously created mob—one that, due to its hive-mind nature—is virtually impossible to call off.” By the time readers have completed The Seven Deadly Virtues, they won’t even realize that they’ve just been catechized into an entirely different—and better—moral universe.Trade Review“[I]nteresting and thought provoking … endearing enough to make the reader charitably inclined.” —Wall Street Journal (11/05/2014)"The Seven Deadly Virtues is 202 readable pages written by a witty group of 18 peculiar moralists, and it deserves similar success. You just know that you are in for a treat when a book on the subject of virtue starts with P.J. O’Rourke and ends with Chris Buckley. In between them, you’ll discover the architects of a new conservative cool that shows that is possible to be moral without being moralistic and authoritative without being authoritarian." —The Washington Times (11/05/2014)“It is a light, easy read and worth the time spent for the chuckle, but don’t get the wrong idea. Students of ethics and philosophy will be pleased when Jonathan Last quotes heavyweight philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre (p. 9), Andrew Stiles references C. S. Lewis in his call for temperance, and other essayists remind us of the words of St. Paul, St. Augustine, and other towering figures in the history of Christianity. Overall, I would recommend this book to students because it’s rare to find a humorous contribution to the topic of virtue that is not tearing down morality, but instead gives compelling reasons why we should all strive to be better people.” —Kristin A. Vargas, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, The Christian LibrarianTable of ContentsAcknowledgments / xi Introduction: On Virtues, Past and Present / 3 By Jonathan V. Last Part I: The Cardinal Virtues Chapter 1: The Seven Deadly Virtues: And the New York Times / 17 By P. J. O’Rourke Chapter 2: Prudence: Long Live the Queen / 26 By Andrew Ferguson Chapter 3: Justice: The One Virtue Nobody Really Wants / 38 By Rob Long Chapter 4: Courage: The Rise of “Shelter in Place” America / 48 By Michael Graham Chapter 5: Temperance: The Deadliest Virtue / 58 By Andrew Stiles Chapter 6: Hope: Chicago Is a Place Called Hope / 66 By David Burge (aka Iowahawk) Chapter 7: Charity: You Can’t Give This Stuff Away / 74 By Mollie Hemingway Chapter 8: Faith: The Eleventh Commandment / 83 By Larry Miller Part II: The Everyday Virtues Chapter 9: Chastity: The Final Taboo / 95 By Matt Labash Chapter 10: Simplicity: Or, the Many-Splendored Virtues of Hoarding / 110 By James Lileks Chapter 11: Thrift: The Un-American Virtue / 121 By Joe Queenan Chapter 12: Honesty: It’s Absolutely the Best Policy (Sometimes) / 129 By Rita Koganzon Chapter 13: Fellowship: Reach Out and Touch Someone / 139 By Christine Rosen Chapter 14: Forbearance: Opting Out of the Politicized Life / 147 By Sonny Bunch Chapter 15: Integrity: Living by the Code of the Superman / 156 By Jonah Goldberg Chapter 16: Curiosity: Maybe the Cat Got What It Had Coming / 165 By Christopher Caldwell Chapter 17: Perseverance: All the Way to the End / 174 By Christopher Buckley Author Bios / 185

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Book SynopsisFrom the all-star cast who brought you The Seven Deadly Virtues comes a book with a look at the good life… or the crazy-stressful-overwhelmed life… of a father. The Dadly Virtues is a tongue-in-cheek collection of encouragement and guidance for any stage of fatherhood, from pacifying babies to prepping for senior prom, from cutting the cord to getting the first, “Best Grandpa” t-shirt. P.J. O’Rourke sets the stage with the chapter, “What Do Men Get from Fatherhood? Besides What They Put In …” and then is followed by: •Matthew Continetti’s, “Newborn Terror: The Moment You Realize that ‘Bundle of Joy’ Is a Euphemism for Something Very Different.” •Stephen F. Hayes’ “Siblings: The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give Your Kids.” •Jonah Goldberg’s “Get Your Kid a Dog: The Moral Case for Pets.” •Tucker Carlson’s “In Praise of Adventure: How to Fill a Child’s Life with Excitement and Danger (without Getting Them Killed).” •Michael Graham’s, “Dating: Enjoy the Movie and Please Keep the Impregnation to a Minimum.” •Christopher Caldwell’s “College: It’s Not as Bad as You Think; It’s Worse.” •Andrew Ferguson’s “Emerging Adults and Empty Nesters: Just When You Had Fatherhood All Figured Out.” •Toby Young’s “The Dark Side: Bad Parenting and the Things We Think, but Do Not Say.” •Joseph Epstein’s “Thanks, Grandpa: Grandfatherhood and the Spirit of the Age.” •And more. Father-to-be, two-time-dad, or granddad, each essay will make you laugh and, at the same time, reinforce your commitment to the virtuous—the dadly—life.Trade Review“To their kids, all fathers must eventually seem conservative. And old-fashioned, and perhaps even boring. But, politically speaking, is there a uniquely conservative way to be a dad? Weekly Standard senior writer Jonathan V. Last has edited an essay collection by 17 conservative writers, policy wonks and entertainers, all offering advice and reflections on the business of fatherhood.” — Carlos Lozada, Washington Post (May 7, 2015) “The book is a compilation of stories about fatherhood and is a refreshing change over all the books out there written from women’s perspective of parenting.” —Dr. Helen Smith, PJ Media (March 15, 2015 “Some of the country’s most highly-respected conservative journalists and opinion makers have come together and penned a new book. While these journalists are best known for their writings on political matters, this new book's subject is far more important. Parenting. More specifically, fatherhood.” — Dan Joseph, MRC TV (May 7, 2015)In the Fraternity of Dad, children haze their sires, who become men. Maybe. With one exception, each of the contributors to The Dadly Virtues is a member of the Frat of Dad and has stories about what he learned, what he wishes he’d known, and what he still doesn’t know. The book is arranged chronologically, from new fathers to grandfathers, but you should start with the final essay, Joseph Epstein’s reflections on being a single father and then helping raise his grandchildren. Amongst the frat, Epstein is the man, a mensch, the incredibly cool alumnus everybody wants to be—or at least write as well as. —Mike Hubbard, Ricochet“The Dadly Virtues takes a tongue-in-cheek approach to a subject with serious societal ramifications. It arrives at a time when fathers, and men in general, are often portrayed as bumbling and clueless—and, as Last notes in his introduction, ‘only 69 percent of kids (in America) live in a home with two parents.’ It contains some language that’s probably best not shared with younger children.” “The book covers all stages of fatherhood: expecting and experiencing a first child’s birth; seeing one’s family expand; dealing with children about religion, athletics, college, dating, marriage, and moving out on their own or back home; and eventually becoming a grandfather.” “The readers who might benefit most from the book are those about to be fathers. Describing it as ‘part instructional guide, part meditation, part war journal,’ Last writes: ‘It is, frankly, the book I wish I’d had back when my first child, Cody, was born.’” —Alan Wallace, TribLive “In the best-selling 2014 book The Seven Deadly Virtues, editor Jonathan V. Last makes a case for gratitude as the best of the virtues, surpassing justice, curiosity, prudence, and all others.” —Marty Wiggins, Tyler Morning Telegraph “What author Jonathan Last has assembled here is a distillation of what it means to be a father, told through the stories of fathers who happen to be gifted writers, as well as being absolutely hilarious. Each chapter has its share of funny war stories, but each also has some deep insights into the ups and downs of raising kids. There is timeless wisdom in these comical stories. Plus, this book has an essay by Matt Labash who many claim is the funniest writer in America these days. But don’t be surprised if your eyes get misty at the closing chapter on becoming a good grandfather.” —Sue Randleman, Crossville Chroncile "In the new book The Dadly Virtues, fathers - from all walks of life and from all stages of family life - share their insights about what being a father means to them. And they do it with a liberal dose of irreverent humor. . . . Every journey needs a journal, and The Dadly Virtues is an excellent collection of journal entries about the fatherhood journey. The book makes you think, laugh and remember; you can’t ask for much more than that." —Wayne Parker, About.com“Depending on the author, the humor ranges from quiet dry wit to don’t-drink-your-coffee-while-reading-because-you-will-snort-coffee-through-your-nose funny. P. J. O’Rourke’s chapter on how fatherhood turns men into adults will make you chuckle. Tucker Carlson’s exploration on filling your children’s lives with excitement and danger will make you laugh. So will Toby Young’s on bad parenting, Andrew Ferguson’s on empty nests, Rob Long’s on marriage, and Joseph Epstein’s on being a grandparent.”“The chapters are not just about jokes. Each dispenses wisdom about some aspect of fatherhood. Any dad who had gone through “the Talk” on sex with their children will identify with the embarrassment experienced by Matt Labash. You may not be as into shared experiences in television watching with your children as James Lileks, but he reminds you of some shared experience with your children.”“Fathers who have been through the experiences related by the authors will nod in agreement. Fathers who have yet to go through some aspect of fatherhood outlined will get useful pointers. The Dadly Virtues is out in time for Father’s Day. It is a book with application past Father’s Day. This book is one that will resonate throughout the year.” —Mark Lardas, Galveston County Daily News (June 7, 2015)“What do you get when you assemble an all-star cast of writers who have collectively experienced the many terrors and triumphs of fatherhood and have lived to write about it? You end up with The Dadly Virtues: Adventures From the Worst Job You’ll Ever Love. As the subtitle suggests, this book is a tongue-in-cheek portrait of the gory glory of fatherhood, containing plenty of side-splitting anecdotes and cultural critique with a dash of philosophical profundity. The editor, Jonathan Last, likens the book to ‘something of a Swiss army knife: part instructional guide, part meditation, part war journal’ (4) … . As a recent inductee to the fraternity of fatherhood, I am personally weary of the many formulaic books I have seen that treat fatherhood as though it’s a science to be conquered. If you’re like me, you’ll agree that the unfiltered and personal nature of The Dadly Virtues is its greatest strength. Last and company portray fatherhood less like a science and more like an art form in which hapless amateurs creep toward mastery through a process of trial and error. With each chapter, you’ll be treated to a strikingly intimate and refreshingly witty take on the real-life rigors and joys of fatherhood… . The Dadly Virtues is a refreshing look at the time-worn institution of fatherhood. After reading it, those of you who aren’t dads will wonder if you should ever become one, while those of us who are will wonder why we didn’t start sooner. In the words of Last, ‘If you aren’t otherwise engaged in some duty that precludes it—say, the priesthood—and you have the opportunity, then you should be a father. There is nothing more vexing, exhausting, noble, or manly. It’s the worst job you’ll ever love’ (15)… . Often side-splitting, sometimes tear-jerking, and always riveting, The Dadly Virtues will resonate with any father or father-to-be.” — Timothy Kleiser, the Gospel CoalitionTable of ContentsAcknowledgments / xi Introduction: On Fatherhood, Manliness, and Failure / 3 Jonathan V. Last Chapter 1: What Do Men Get from Fatherhood? Besides What They Put In … / 17 P. J. O’Rourke Chapter 2: Newborn Terror: The Moment You Realize That “Bundle of Joy” Is a Euphemism for Something Very Different / 25 Matthew Continetti Chapter 3: Siblings: The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give Your Kids / 36 Stephen F. Hayes Chapter 4: Television and Kids: The Beauty and Pain of TV / 45 James Lileks Chapter 5: Get Your Kid a Dog: The Moral Case for Pets / 58 Jonah Goldberg Chapter 6: In Praise of Adventure: How to Fill a Child’s Life with Excitement and Danger (Without Getting Them Killed) / 66 Tucker Carlson Chapter 7: Catechesis: Teaching Your Kid about God / 73 Larry Miller Chapter 8: Surviving School: It’s Just as Bad the Second Time Around / 84 Joe Queenan Chapter 9: Sports: Advice for the Care and Feeding of the Child-Athlete / 94 David Burge (aka Iowahawk) Chapter 10: The Dark Side: Bad Parenting and the Things We Think, but Do Not Say / 104 Toby Young Chapter 11: The Talk: The Birds and Bees Aren’t What They Used to Be / 113 Matt Labash Chapter 12: Dating: Enjoy the Movie and Please Keep the Impregnation to a Minimum / 127 Michael Graham Chapter 13: College: It’s Not as Bad as You Think; It’s Worse / 137 Christopher Caldwell Chapter 14: Emerging Adults and Empty Nesters: Just When You Had Fatherhood All Figured Out / 146 Andrew Ferguson Chapter 15: Love and Marriage: How to Talk to Your Kids about the Most Important Decision They’ll Ever Make / 156 Rob Long Chapter 16: Thanks, Grandpa: Grandfatherhood and the Spirit of the Age / 166 Joseph Epstein About the Contributors / 177

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Book SynopsisFrom the all-star cast that brought you The Seven Deadly Virtues and The Dadly Virtues comes the ultimate Christmas survival guide: The Christmas Virtues. The Christmas season is a minefield of terrors: The family get-togethers with weird uncles, the sloppy office parties, the annoying 10-page Look-at-Us holiday letters—and we haven’t even mentioned the Black Friday mobs and that wretched Alvin and the Chipmunks song that plays every 90 minutes on Pandora, whether you like it or not. Rum-pah-pah-pum. And don’t forget the PC police lurking around every corner looking to beat the last bits of joy and comradery out of our society. Merry Christmas? Really? But it doesn’t have to be this way. 'Tis the season to recapture the wonder of Christmas, in our hearts and in our homes and even out in the public square. The Christmas Virtues is a humorous companion for, and guide to, navigating the trials and tribulations of the holiday season. It’s a reminder of how we can embrace the joy, hope, and love of Christmas—of the real Christmas. And a call for us to stand up for Christmas because America needs it now, more than ever. So sit back and enjoy the following tales by your favorite authors: Rob Long’s "The Christmas Spirit: In Defense of Ebenezer Scrooge.” P. J. O’Rourke’s “The Commercialization of Christmas: God Moves (The Merchandise) in a Mysterious Way.” Andrew Ferguson’s “Jingle Bell Rock: Taking the Christ Out of Christmas Songs” Matt Labash’s “Home for the Holidays: The Trials and Tribulations of Family.” Stephen F. Hayes’ "here Comes Santa Claus: The Wonder of Christmas Morning." Toby Young’s “The ghosts of Christmas: Holidays Past and Present” Jonah Goldberg’s “The War on Christmas: It’s Real, and It’s Spectacular.” Christopher Buckley’s “Saint Joseph: The Forgotten ‘Father Christmas.’” Kirsten Powers’ “The first Noel: Christmas with Jesus.” James Lileks' "Boxing Day and the Christmas Hangover." And More Trade ReviewJonathan Last has provided an entertaining break to the holiday season in The Christmas Virtues: A Treasury of Conservative Tales for the Holidays… . The virtues part of The Christmas Virtues is often subtle, but through the stories and the prose, the reader can find a reminder of what really matters during the holiday season and what kinds of things we should just look past. Fighting the creeping commercialization and secularization of Christmas is the underlying theme of all of the essays, along with the need to come back to the basics of love, charity and the message of the Prince of Peace. We could all do a little better to not take ourselves so seriously during the holidays and focus more on the important parts.” —Wayne Parker, About Parenting“Here’s the thing. Not everything about the holiday season is wonderful and filled with cheer. We all know that. So, why sugarcoat it all? This all-star cast of writers got together, and rather than a Chicken Soup for the Soul type of book, has put together a compilation that truly hits the nail on the head about the holiday season.”“P.J. O’Rourke talks about the commercialization of Christmas, Joe Quennan shares his take on the artful tradition of Christmas cards. Matt Labash makes light of the antics of holiday family gatherings. But, don’t expect a bunch of funny, lighthearted stories that will keep you laughing, as some are serious and other will share a perspective you probably have never looked at Christmas from.”“I highly, highly recommend! 5 stars!”—Mommy Rantings Blog“This book is sure to be loved by anyone who embodies the season of Christmas – you undoubtedly know a few of these people. These friends and family members can be hard to gift-shop for, but consider this book your solution. Not only will you be giving them a humorous, enjoyable read, but you will be giving them memories and stories to keep them warm for many Christmas seasons to come.” —Jacqueline Isaacs, Conservative Book ClubTable of ContentsIntroduction The Miracle of Christmas / 3Jonathan V. Last Chapter 1: The Christmas Spirit In Defense of Ebenezer Scrooge / 15Rob LongChapter 2: The Commercialization of Christmas God Moves (the Merchandise) in a Mysterious Way / 23P. J. O’RourkeChapter 3: Season’s Greetings! Ten Simple Rules for Sending Christmas Cards / 33Joe QueenanChapter 4: Jingle Bell Rock Taking the Christ Out of Christmas Songs / 45Andrew FergusonChapter 5: Oh, Tannenbaum A Tradition Unlike Any Other / 54Christopher CaldwellChapter 6: The Nativity Stories The Best (and Worst) Christmas Movies Ever / 62Sonny BunchChapter 7: Home for the Holidays The Trials and Tribulations of Family / 70Matt LabashChapter 8: Saint Nicholas: Friend or Foe? A Document Dump from Santa’s Secret Email Server / 83David “Iowahawk” BurgeChapter 9: All Good Gifts Tickle Me Elmo and the Madness of Christmas Toys / 99Heather WilhelmChapter 10: Here Comes Santa Claus The Wonder of Christmas Morning / 108Stephen F. HayesChapter 11: The Ghosts of Christmas Holidays Past and Present / 117Toby YoungChapter 12: The War on Christmas It’s Real, and It’s Spectacular / 125Jonah GoldbergChapter 13: Jews Who Love Christmas We All Love Christmas Magic / 135Larry MillerChapter 14: I’m Dreaming of a Jewish Christmas Celebrating a Day You Don’t Really Share / 146Joseph EpsteinChapter 15: The Greatest of These Is Hope The Impossible Promises of Christmas / 155Michael GrahamChapter 16: Saint Joseph The Forgotten “Father Christmas” / 163Christopher BuckleyChapter 17: Mary, Mother of All The Real Miracles of the Virgin Birth Aren’t What You Think / 171Mollie HemingwayChapter 18: The First Noel Christmas with Jesus / 180Kirsten PowersChapter 19: The Day After The Illusion of Returning to Normal / 189James LileksAbout the Contributors / 199

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