Home nursing and caring / Advice for caregivers Books

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Book Synopsis

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Book SynopsisWith a foreword by Judy Woodruff, The Unexpected Journey of Caring is a practical guide to finding personal meaning in the 21st century care experience. Personal transformation is usually an experience we actively seek out—not one that hunts us down. Becoming a caregiver is one transformation that comes at us, requiring us to rethink everything we once knew. Everything changes—responsibilities, beliefs, hopes, expectations, and relationships. Caregiving is not just a role reserved for “saints”—eventually, everyone is drafted into the caregiver role. It’s not a role people medically train for; it’s a new type of relationship initiated by a loved one’s need for care. And it’s a role that cannot be quarantined to home because it infuses all aspects of our lives. Caregivers today find themselves in need of a crash course in new and unfamiliar skills. They must not only care for a loved one, but also access hidden community resources, collaborate with medical professionals, craft new narratives consistent with the changing nature of their care role, coordinate care with family, seek information and peer support using a variety of digital platforms, and negotiate social support—all while attempting to manage conflicts between work, life, and relationship roles. The moments that mark us in the transition from loved one to caregiver matter because if we don’t make sense of how we are being transformed, we risk undervaluing our care experiences, denying our evolving beliefs, becoming trapped by other’s misunderstandings, and feeling underappreciated, burned out, and overwhelmed. Informed by original caregiver research and proven advocacy strategies, this book speaks to caregiving as it unfolds, in all of its confusion, chaos, and messiness. Readers won’t find well-intentioned clichés or care stereotypes in this book. There are no promises to help caregivers return to a life they knew before caregiving. No, this book greets caregivers where they are in their journey—new or chronic—not where others expect (or want) them to be.Trade ReviewNobody grows up planning to be a caregiver, but many of us will become one and sometimes when we least expect it. Donna Thomson and Zachary White bring powerful insights to help us understand what it means to be a caregiver and how to truly support those of us who will travel this unexpected journey. -- Samir K. Sinha, Director of Geriatrics, Sinai Health System and University Health Network, Toronto and Health Policy Research Director, National Institute on Ageing (Canada)One is never prepared to be a caregiver for a terminally ill spouse. The physical and emotional consequences of the role are devastating. Thomson and White expertly describe the effects of being a caregiver, including effects one might not be aware of, and the transformation that takes place in our lives because of our caregiving role. -- Pamela D. Larsen, PhD, RN, University of Wyoming, editor of Lubkins Chronic Illness: Impact and Intervention (10th Edition)This is much more than a story about caregiving for a child with a disability. In The Unexpected Journey of Caring: The Transformation from Loved One to Caregiver, Donna Thomson and Zachary White remind us that living as a caregiver is a state of both being and becoming. This book made me think about the importance of providing opportunities for parents of children with disability to share their experiences with caregiving, and to understand what it means for them to be a caregiver. We learn to ask what caregivers need on their journey becoming a complete person. Through this powerful book I hope we dare to have true conversations between caring families and health professionals. After all, caring for caregivers is as much about us (health professionals) as about them (caregiving parents)! To the journey! -- Jan Willem Gorter, Director of CanChild Research Center, McMaster UniversityRecognizing that each caregiving situation is unique, Zachary White and Donna Thomson bring readers into that life. Common threads bind all caregivers regardless of the illness or relationship to our beloved care recipients. They describe the inexorable transformation into “caregiver” in a story EVERYONE should read. This book details the psyche of caregiving – how it can change you forever; as well as the physical and daily duties of such ‘work’ in easily understood terms. Best of all, it gives caregivers ideas on navigating the inevitable roadblocks and surviving this under-recognized segment of American society – 45 million family caregiving heroes! -- Lawrence Bocchiere, President Emeritus/COB, The Well Spouse® AssociationEveryone who spends months and years caring for someone who isn’t getting better will find that Donna Thomson and Zachary White have given voice to their inner feelings and thoughts. They will find comfort and counsel in the authors' wise observations. -- Rajiv Mehta, Founder and CEO of Atlas CaregivingThere are many entry points into a good life for ourselves and those we love. That said, if someone offers you a road map to their version of your worthy end, you ought to be very wary. In this most refreshing and authentic book, no road maps are prescribed. Instead a compass is offered, lovingly brought together from Donna Thomson’s lived experience as a mother, carer and advocate and Zachary White’s experience as an authentic and reflective civic practitioner. Every page is embossed with hard won nuggets of wisdom from each of their domains and the interface between their experiences. If you are searching for genuine companions on the journey towards the Good Life, look no further. -- Cormac Russell, Faculty ABCD Institute, Director of Asset-based Community Development in EuropeFinally! A totally honest assessment of the caregiving experience. Not just another workbook, disease specific account or “how to” book (though there are many helpful guidelines), but a no-nonsense look at the ongoing reality and challenges of how the caregiving experience changes your life. Fear, anger, the unknown—normalcy—are dealt with in a direct, caring and expert manner. Whether you are a “newbie” or a long-term caregiver, this book illustrates all we have in common and gives us guidelines to cope wherever we are in our journey. -- Adrienne Gruberg, Founder and President, The Caregiver SpaceThe Unexpected Journey of Caring provides insights into the mind and heart of the family caregiver. After reading this book you’ll better understand the caregiving emotions and thoughts which can feel so confusing and lead to so much guilt! Thomson and White share the very good reasons why you feel as you do. They also offer solutions and tools you can use to feel better because you can. If you’re a health care professional, this book will equip you to better understand and help those family caregivers you encounter every day. -- Denise M. Brown, founder of www.caregiving.com and the National Caregiving ConferenceTable of ContentsForeword by Judy Woodruff Introduction Chapter 1: I'm (Not) a Caregiver Disorientation: From Loved One to Caregiver Chapter 2: Living In-Between Scripts (Transformational Moment #1) Chapter 3: A Hyper-Intolerance of Others (Transformational Moment #2) Chapter 4: Audience Betrayal (Transformational Moment #3) Chapter 5: Who am I Becoming and Why am I So Hard on Myself? (Transformational Moment #4) Chapter 6: When “Getting Through” isn’t Good Enough (Transformational Moment #5) Re-orientation and Advocacy Chapter 7: Making Meaning That Matters Now Chapter 8: Begin With the Basics: What Is My Role at Home, What Do I WANT It to Be? Chapter 9: You Are Not Alone, But Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood? Chapter 10: Navigating the Rough Waters of Transition Chapter 11: Not a Social Network, But a Care Network Chapter 12: How to Know What You Want and Get What You Need Chapter 13: Power and Love = Empowerment Chapter 14: Cultivating Connection Conclusion: A New Way of Seeing and Being

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Book SynopsisWorking Daughter is a revelatory look at who’s caring for our aging population and how these unpaid family caregivers are trying to manage caring for their parents, raising their children, and pursuing their careers. It tells the story of one woman who was enjoying a fast-paced career in marketing and raising two children, until both of her parents were diagnosed with terminal illnesses on the same day. In the challenges she faced and the choices she made, readers will learn how they can navigate their own caregiving experience and/or prepare for when they are inevitably called on to care for their parents. Working Daughter sparks the conversation we so desperately need to have about women and the workplace. With 10,000 people turning 65 every day and a shortage of caregivers predicted in the next few years, it’s time we talk about how family caregivers and their employers will face the impact of a rapidly aging society. This book fills the gap in the literature on women and work; there are volumes of books about managing career and children, but little advice on how to balance career and parents. Working Daughter provides a blueprint for women and a call to action for business leaders and policy makers. This is book is for women who want straight talk and real advice about the challenges of eldercare, the choices they will need to make, the aspects of caregiving they can control, and that which they cannot. And finally, Working Daughter shows family caregivers how they can achieve, the underreported but well-documented upside to caring for an aging parent, the caregiver’s gain.Trade ReviewAiming her words at the many women in the sandwich generation, O’Donnell presents a blueprint for managing a career, children, and aging parents. She applies her own experience and that of others to talk plainly about the challenges of eldercare, the choices to be made, the aspects of caregiving that can and cannot be controlled, and the upside to caring for an aging parent. O’Donnell further considers common issues such as setting boundaries, caregiving with siblings, managing disruptions, and practicing self-care. VERDICT This book provides much-needed support for the growing population of women caregivers. Highly recommended for both public and personal collections. * Library Journal, Starred Review *What happens to women who spend more time with their ailing parents than with their husbands and kids? They can feel overburdened and resentful, writes O’Donnell, a mom of two kids who was the primary caregiver for her now-deceased parents. On the same day in 2014, doctors diagnosed her father with early-onset Alzheimer’s and her mother with ovarian cancer. In this honest, advice-filled memoir, O'Donnell admits to feeling like a “horrible, selfish” person and an overwhelmed one, too. At one point, this super-daughter, who was also working full time, had 196 items on her to-do list for her parents. She advises parents to remove the word “should” from their vocabulary and to choose some “non-negotiables,” like being present in their kids’ lives and staying employed. “Perfect is overrated” and “impossible,” she says. After her father’s death in July 2017, she feels a “sense of freedom.” But it’s temporary. Her 51-year-old husband gets diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The lesson seems to be to expect the unexpected and to place more value on loving and caring for family members. * Booklist *Liz O'Donnell, an expert on life challenges faced by working women, tackles an issue that most will eventually face: how to help an aging parent while keeping up with work and everything else a modern woman is often juggling. This book provides essential understanding, encouragement, and practical advice. I especially loved her suggestions on how to manage at work and how to handle the inevitable expectations and judgments that women encounter (not the least of which come from themselves). This is a great resource to help "working daughters" and I'd also recommend it to employers and policy-makers, who need to do more to support the many working family caregivers of aging adults. -- Leslie Kernisan, MD, Geriatrician, Founder of BetterHealthWhileAging.net and HelpingOlderParents.comWomen might be able to shoulder both work and motherhood, but throw an elderly parent’s care into the mix, and these mighty women can collapse into a heap of wine, cheese dip and tissues. Liz O’Donnell gives them some guidance on how to accept their fates, manage the mess, and even find some joy in the moment. -- Virginia Morris, author of "How to Care for Aging Parents"Liz O’Donnell is a woman who knows how to write, how to be brutally honest, how to tell caregivers’ unique stories, and how tell a bigger story about the new normal we’re all experiencing as our parents live so much longer than any generation before now. I love this book so much. It’s required reading for every grown-up with a loved one to care for. Heck, it’s just required reading about modern American life. -- Anne Tumlinson, National aging expert, and founder of Daughterhood.org, a community of caregiversFinally a book that respects and addresses the challenges faced by women in the workforce who are simultaneously caring for aging parents. Working Daughter is an essential guide that will help and empower caregivers at a time when they need it most. -- Dr. Nanette Fondas, D.B.A., M.Phil., author of "The Custom-Fit Workplace: Choose When, Where, and How to Work and Boost Your Bottom Line"Working Daughter is an essential tool for the millions of families facing the crisis of elder care in this country. Liz crafts a gripping narrative that describes her own experiences and combines her story with a treasure trove of practical strategies that are universal in application. The book is a must-read for both daughters and sons of aging parents. -- Lauren Stiller Rikleen, president, Rikleen Institute for Strategic Leadership, and author of "The Shield of Silence: How Power Perpetuates a Culture of Harassment and Bullying in the Workplace"Caregivers are joined by stories, because it is through our stories where diversity meets to the road to combat a common cause. And our common cause is caregiving. By sharing her caregiving story, Liz O'Donnell provides her readers with real-life stories, filled with real-life emotions, complemented by tried and tested solutions so that your caregiving journey just might be a tad bit easier. Well Done Liz! -- Christopher MacLellan, M.A.; Author, Host of the Healing Ties Podcast, Coordinator Caregiver Assistance Program for the South Florida Institute on AgingDrawing from her own raw experience caring for her aging parents while juggling young children and working as her family breadwinner, in Working Daughter Liz O’Donnell offers hard-won lessons on dealing with shame, guilt and unrealistic expectations, as well as how to navigate the complex, confusing and woefully inadequate elder care system in America. A welcome and practical guide to anyone struggling to honor and care for aging loved ones while seeking to live their own lives fully. -- Brigid Schulte, award-winning journalist, author of the New York Times bestselling "Overwhelmed: Work, Love & Play when No One has the Time," and director of The Better Life Lab at New AmericaWell done Liz for giving permission to women (and men) to cut the perfection garbage that hurts everyone around elder care. Liz has captured the incredibly hard challenge and the joy of care-taking our parents while having a career. Every CEO should read this book so they can figure out how to help make it easier for people to do both. -- Jodi Detjen, Clinical Professor of Management, MBA Program Director, Suffolk UniversityWorking Daughter is an unflinchingly honest, sharp, often funny guide to caring for an aging parent while holding down a job. If you've ever wished you could just talk to someone who understands what you're going through - and also offers the best advice - you've found her. -- Ashley Milne-Tyte, Host, The Broad Experience podcastTable of ContentsAcknowledgments Introduction 1 Accept 2 Absolve 3 Prioritize 4 Flex 5 Choose 6 Manage 7 Disrupt 8 Renew 9 Plan 10 Reflect Notes Bibliography Index

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Book SynopsisFinding the right fit to match aging adults with the best caregiver to assist them in their home can be fraught with challenge. In today’s pressurized world, the process involves overstressed family members and a shortage of great caregivers. So many adult children are seeking a helping hand and a friendly, experienced voice to guide them through this emotionally charged rite of passage. Aging with Care: Your Guide to Hiring and Managing Caregivers in the Home, takes a personal, professional, and sometimes humorous approach to the challenges, benefits, pitfalls and problems of hiring in-home caregivers. Here, two geriatric care experts explore the essential credentials and experience a home caregiver should have, pitfalls to avoid, hiring options and managing costs, and the decisions that go into finding the right fit for your loved one to be able to age in place. Sharing stories and insights from interviews with caregivers and elders, as well as industry experts, they walk you through the ins and outs, and provide you with the tools necessary to making the best care choices you can for the ones you love.Trade ReviewMost seniors want to age in their homes. But what if simple, daily tasks are becoming too difficult? What if family members aren’t able to give round-the-clock care? Where does the family turn? Lambert and Eckford, both experienced in geriatric care, do a thorough exploration of the challenges of providing home care. Although Lambert advocates working through an accredited agency, and Eckford leans toward private caregivers, they agree on the importance of careful selection, monitoring, and communicating with workers. It’s also important to both that the patient has a say in his or her care, that caregiver and patient mesh, and that the family is kept up to date on the elder’s progress. The authors provide checklists for deciding on the level of care, picking a caregiver, and monitoring day-to-day operations. They discuss security issues, potential abuse, and boundary setting. And they offer creative solutions when at-home care isn’t working. Interviews with agencies, caregivers, and patients round out the coverage. Packed with practical information, online tools, and common-sense suggestions, this book will be reassuring for readers facing these important challenges. * Booklist *[I]f you’re faced with taking care of your aging parent(s), this book offers solid, reliable information on a multitude of questions.... The book abounds with real life stories that demonstrate problems, pitfalls and possible solutions.... [T]he book is an excellent guide. And a help for you to set guidelines for a time when you might be the one in need of care. * Chicago Lady Boomer Examiner *Lambert and Eckford bring to life the terrors and treasures of managing caregiver help for yourself or loved ones. With their clear expert guidance, you will be an informed consumer, able to navigate the best choice for your care needs. Through stories, interviews, and resources I found they understand the care options from home to facility and where the pitfalls and advantages lie. As a daughter having personally experienced care coordination and as a care manager and guide to others, I know firsthand what a vulnerable task finding care in the home can be. Lambert and Eckford offer the tools to make care an opportunity for the best quality of life so you and your loved one can not only survive but truly thrive! -- Mary Jo Saavedra, CMC, CSA, CAPS, gerontologist, life planning counselor, and author of Eldercare 101: A Practical Guide to Later Life Planning, Care and WellbeingLambert and Eckford have done an amazing job of bringing clarity to an issue that is often confusing and emotionally distressing, yet so important given today’s aging and longevity trends. Through the use of real-life anecdotes, as well as their professional skills and personal experiences, they guide readers through the process of selecting a caregiver most appropriate for their individual circumstances. This is a must read if you’re facing such difficult decisions, even if you think you already know the best path to take. -- Rob Pascale, Ph.D. author of "The Retirement Maze" and "Making Marriage Work"Table of ContentsIntroduction WAKING UP TO A NIGHTMARE What would you do if you realized that the caregiver that you hired to take care of your elderly parents in their house turned out to be stealing from them and exploiting them? Leslie shares her horror story of realizing that the hired caregiver that she knew, liked and trusted turned out to be robbing her family blind. She describes her professional background as a geriatric nurse and Licensed Clinical Social Worker and her dedication to supporting her parents to age in their own home. She assumed that even though she lives far away from her elderly parents, she would know enough to make the right choices. But all of this was not enough to protect her family from being taken advantage of. When she discussed her family's plight with her friend, Amanda Lambert, also a geriatric professional as well as a certified geriatric care manager, they realized that though they agreed on many approaches to home care for the elderly, they diverged when considering hiring privately or through a care agency. Thus, the idea for this book was born: to share our professional and personal experience to assist others to make educated choices about hiring employees to be elder caregivers for their family. Chapter 1 FINDING MORE THAN ONE WAY HOME: TWO APPROACHES TO HIRING CAREGIVERS While Amanda and Leslie agree about the value of aging at home and promoting safety and quality of life for all elders, they have some different approaches on how to hire the right caregivers for home care. Even after the criminal caregiver fiasco, Leslie still prefers hiring privately. Amanda has a different perspective related to her experiences as a geriatric care manager. Amanda describes her duties in this professional role, its definition and how she helps elders and their families navigate the challenges of staying in place to age. The tremendous growth of people who are over 65 and the increase in life expectancy is creating an Aging Tsunami. As more Americans grow older, more can expect to eventually need some assistance with daily care such as preparing meals, dressing and bathing and mobility. Where will they get that care? In recent history, older adults have been encouraged to move into assisted living or other retirement communities. However, in poll after poll of older Americans, they clearly express their desire to stay at home. Staying at home is one thing, but being on the receiving end of personal care is another. Invasion of privacy, and loss of control are considered in the context of real life experiences of elders. Two different ways to hire a caregiver (private hire or through a care agency) are presented with the Pros and Cons of each. Families are encouraged to consider the needs of elders and their choice of hiring the best caregiver on a continuum. Needs for assistance can change as one's health does, thus impacting the type of caregiver that will be best. Leslie describes the advantages of privately hiring a caregiver (more control over who is chosen, less turnover and more consistency of care, reducing cost of third party) and disadvantages (such as the need to vet individuals for criminal backgrounds, time required for hiring process and management). Amanda offers a contrasting perspective for hiring with a care agency: the upside includes less hassle for the family, the agency will take care of any sick calls and other unavoidable problems, and it saves time. She acknowledges the downsides such as an increased hourly rate for the consumer and higher rate of staff turnover which can be upsetting and disruptive for seniors. Each chapter ends with Take Away Points that emphasize the most important concepts for the family to consider as they embark on increasing home support. (See Sample Chapter) Chapter 2 GETTING STARTED: HOW MUCH HOME CARE DO YOU NEED? Knowing if or when to begin considering care in the home can be complicated. Typically an event, or trigger, can be the precipitating factor for family members or even the elder themselves to realize that help is needed. The cost is potentially staggering. Is it the right decision for you or your family member? Learn some basic terms and vocabulary about home care as it differs from care in a setting like a nursing home. Doctors may refer to home care in ways that may be confusing and lead you to believe that all home care is covered by some insurances when it is not. Refer to a useful sidebar to demystify the differences between Medicare and Medicaid. This chart will answer your burning question: which home care expenses do they really cover? Use our Needs Scale to determine the type of home care that will assure your successful stay at home. A Home Care Needs Scale will assist families and elder persons to assess what care can be done by a family or friend versus a professional caregiver. The best planning will figure out which activities, such as medication management or bathing, are most important to this individual. Emphasis is on flexibility. For example, it could be an advantage in areas such as how and when to schedule caregivers. The Home Care Needs Scale will help you determine if staying at home is a realistic option for you. Instructive stories based on real elders' experiences are incorporated throughout to learn how others initiated care in their home. Having "the talk" with older family members will help everyone to reach agreement about possible circumstances that trigger the need for care. Talking openly with one's family about whether or not staying at home with care is a viable option is a source of dread for many. With all the parent-child dynamics in play, strategies for segueing into to and staying on topic are critical. How to deal with elderly family who are resistant to having any care at all. How to incorporate the Advance Directive as a tool to ensure that a person's wishes are honored. Recognizing what each side can be flexible about can further the process. This is an expensive proposition. Individuals and families need to deal with the real costs of home care. Talking about money between generations can be perceived as an intrusion on one's privacy. Full access to varied factors (savings, equity, net worth, overall health and prognosis) are necessary to create a budget for the cost of home care. An unique plan of care for each person is needed. While a certain amount of help for part of the day can be manageable and less expensive than moving to assisted living, the price soars with round the clock care. What to do if private caregiving is something you and your family simply cannot afford. We discuss options for care when finances are tight. Throughout, real life stories of how different families have come to terms with the costs of staying at home are shared. Chapter 3 FINDING THE RIGHT HIRED CAREGIVER FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY Most elders and families have only a vague familiarity with the world of caregiving. In order to hire a caregiver, it helps to start with the basics: who they are, what their training is and where to find them. There are a variety of definitions for certifications. Contributing to the challenge in making a good choice of caregiver is the complicated lexicon for home care workers. Caregivers can be CNAs, PCAs, medication techs and more. The type of care that is needed may dictate the certification that is most appropriate. There are significant differences in the typical training caregivers receive in the United States. Skills level, oversight of caregivers in the home, and background checks vary widely from agency to agency and state to state. Knowing the typical training that caregivers in the US receive for levels of certification will help in decision making. There are more choices than ever before in looking for caregivers with pros and cons of each path. Recently, there has been an increase in the number of online companies that match the caregiver to the consumer such as Care.Com and Carelinx.com. Thousands of agencies across the country are vying for the business of providing caregivers. Some families decide to go it alone and rely on other family members or people recommended from the community. Each of these options has potential and each has its dangers and complications. Interviews with the online services such as the CEO of Care.com provide insights about the changing terrain for private hiring and how the process is becoming more accessible and streamlined. Caregiver interviews tell the story from the trenches. Caregiver interviews provide insight into their unique and personal perspectives on working at agencies versus working privately. Caregivers share their frustrations as well as their passion for doing this kind of work. Chapter 4 BUILDING THE BEST CARE PARTNERSHIP The hope of every family seeking a caregiver is to find "the one" that is a good fit. It is a huge responsibility to be the family manager who must have the time, the skills and motivation to be the supervisor of an ongoing, at-home care program. A skills list clarifies what individuals need to manage caregivers in the home setting whether hiring privately or through an agency. Delegating and contracting out when possible become essential tools. It sounds obvious, but the plan will not succeed without the family elder being on board. Tips are outlined to engage the elder family member in the search and to deal openly with their desire and understanding of their need for caregiving. Negotiate a list of the characteristics of the caregiver that you want to hire and reach agreement on key expectations. How to assess resistance and objections from the family about a caregiver. Sometimes, it is simple complaining but other times it is more significant. Having strategies for a successful fit for the elder and the caregiver includes effective communication between you, your parent and the caregiver. Clear, direct and honest communication with a caregiver will help avoid problems down the road. Have you really explained to the caregiver how much your parent detests his or her constant chatting, or have you just hinted at it? It is to everyone's advantage to discuss concerns in real time. Chapter 5 KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL Security and legal protection are top priorities for families that choose to hire caregivers. Families often set up home care quickly in response to changing functional status of the elder. Reducing liability and increasing household safety can be an afterthought. Even if you hire through an agency, you are not guaranteed protection. From the beginning, smart family managers require background checks, drug screening before and after employment, and an employee contract. Nobody wants to turn their family home into a police state, but there are some high tech and low tech approaches that can lend added security and peace of mind. Long distance family members are wise to consider camera systems. Learn how to build a circle of protection with unplanned visits and enlisting friends, neighbors and family to be on alert. Reviewing homeowner's insurance policies and agency policies are a must. If you see a red flag, don't ignore it. Denial is a powerful enemy to your family's security. Recognize your denial thoughts ("I'll just wait and see how this turns out; I don't have time to deal with this now; it's probably not as bad as it seems.") That feeling of discomfort is sometimes your best indication that something is wrong. We outline a plan that will help clue you into the bigger picture. Think ahead and take legal precautions to prevent potential legal disasters. Chapter 6 YOUR HOME, YOUR CARE Independence is a uniquely American ideal that shapes our attitudes about aging. Dependence is a consequence of aging that most everyone wants to avoid. As society adjusts to a more vibrant and vocal aging cohort, new ethical dilemmas come into play. The "dignity of risk" concept suggests that people have the right to make possibly unsafe decisions about the way they live and assume responsibility for the consequences. For example, an elderly person living at home wishes to forgo wearing oxygen at night even though his doctor orders it for medical reasons. Does he have the right to do this? Family members and caregivers can be stuck in the crossfire of competing legal and ethical imperatives. Some care companies have policies that place constraints on their employee caregivers so that they may not allow the client to fail. We provide actual stories of these controversial issues. Few families are in complete agreement about how to respond to the question of freedom of choice in their parents' extended lifespan. Families in this situation may differ greatly in their viewpoint generationally. We provide a series of questions for you and your elder to discuss if there is a difference in point of view. We tie this into the use of the advance directive as a tool to clarify your elder's wishes.[G6] . Chapter 7 WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG? When families hire caregivers, it pays to take a good, hard look at some of the pitfalls. Being forewarned is being forearmed. Actual personal and professional stories provide an inside look at what can and does happen. Hired caregivers can bring joy, and enhance the quality of life of elders while relieving the burden on families. In contrast, there are terrible caregiving outcomes - poor boundaries, lack of confidentiality, bringing children and other relatives to work without permission, and interesting explanations for failed drug tests, to name a few. With careful planning most disasters can be avoided. Even the most thorough pre-employment background checks do not discount the need for ongoing attention and vigilance in knowing what goes on in the home when you are not there. Identifying and embracing these responsibilities, whether working with an agency or outside an agency, will make the journey less stressful. Chapter 8 PLAN B: THROWING IN THE TOWEL One of the most difficult decisions families face is when it is time to consider a higher level of care. Every member of the family team, including the elder, the family, the medical professionals and the caregiver, needs to have a voice in the discussion. Knowing the circumstances under which it may be time to discuss a higher level of care can make the conversation and transition easier. Be clear with your elder family member and caregiver that you will assess the living situation at regular intervals, such as a monthly or semi-annual check-up, to make sure that the goals of care and health is intact. Learn what some of the red flags are. Being vigilant about the effectiveness of caregiver interventions may help to avoid difficulty later. As challenging and time consuming as it may be, examine evidence of a slow decline and what it may mean for the person's health. Family members can assemble a team including a good geriatric physician who can provide their opinion and possible options for continued support. Consider that in-home, 24 hour care is expensive, complicated and intrusive. Compile a list of triggers and conditions that may necessitate taking this step and calculate the costs of 24 hour care compared with assisted living. Issues of safety, risk, quality of life, and autonomy should be considered in making decisions that are always in flux. Years of professional and personal experience have taught us successful and unsuccessful approaches to care in the home and the complications that arise from the day to day management of caregivers. The reality is that for many families, the cost of in home care will drive decisions. Chapter 9 THE MANY PLACES TO GO FROM HERE The current state and future of caregiving is by necessity undergoing tremendous change. For many, caregiving options as they exist today are completely impractical and unaffordable. Many aging advocates are exploring new ways of providing care in community such as the co-housing movement, continuing care communities, and elder villages. Some health care systems, such as the VA Medical system, have already established a Community Residential Care model which provides housing for elderly individuals in small apartment communities with regular care included. A look to the past finds models of care that kept elders in the community. Older adults in the past transitioned to living with extended family or a boarding house. With imagination and initiative, these models can be updated and improved. There are an array of new concepts, such as caregiver cooperatives that provide a better quality of care. In all of the alternatives, the bottom line is that elders should never be kept in isolation and benefit in numerous ways from community contact, support and engagement in decisions that affect their lives. Chapter 10 HOME, SWEET HOME In the final chapter, Leslie describes the aftermath of the legal entanglement with the criminal caregiver. Living at home with caregivers, even when circumstances are not so dramatic, requires a flexible outlook and acceptance of change. Leslie's worst nightmare comes to resolution. Learn how her family went from picking up the pieces after having a deceitful caregiver, to building a team of truly loyal and dedicated caregivers. Finding and assembling the right caregiving team can have lasting positive impacts on an elder's health and well being. Identifying not only the caregivers, but other people and places in your parent's community (physical therapist, taxi driver, barber shop, coffee shop) can enhance their regular activity schedule and can have a positive impact on their quality of life. Spread the net wide to find activities in unexpected places that can be modified for elders to be involved.

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Book SynopsisThis book is a “must read” for anyone who is presently caring for their aging parents, anyone who will eventually care for their aging parents or anyone planning on growing older. The author brings her decades of professional experiences as a psychotherapist, an attorney, a coach and a daughter to this book. She simultaneously chronicles her own heart-warming and touching journey as well as providing a comprehensive guide on doing effective family caregiving in the 21sr century. Many report feeling “deeply understood” reading this book as they resonated with the candid revelations of the author’s inner struggles. Others find hers “a sane voice in a difficult world.” You will not be disappointed with reading the dilemmas, insights and decisions told in “My Story,” as you see what can be learned from this expert’s mistakes as well as her successes. Jane Wolf Frances offers many valuable tips and insights as she guides you from the beginning of the POPcycle, as she’s termed it, all the way to the end of her own parents’ lives. Whether you’re one of the 75 million Americans who are lucky enough to be “ParentingOurParents,” or you’re still struggling with overwhelm and confusion, you’ll need to know what’s being offered here. You will learn how you can • read the signs your parents need help; • have “the talk” with your folks; • make crucial decisions to get the maximum benefits available; • enroll more family to be on the team; • balance the elements in the new life you’re taking on as ParentingOurParents will change your life; and • transform the remarkable challenges of role reversals - legal, emotional, practical, residential - into a true journey of love.Trade ReviewSo many of us plan for children, yet few are adequately prepared to care for aging parents. Jane Wolf Frances understands the struggles of caring for elders in need, and her advice is spot on. Whether you’re a caregiver today or thinking about challenges that may come tomorrow, Frances’ expertise, experience, and know-how will be of great help -- Paul Irving, Chairmen, Milken Institute Center for the Future of Aging; Distinguished Scholar in Residence, USC Davis School of GerontologyThis is a masterful piece of work, invaluable to countless folks who will be taking care of their parents in their twilight years. I am in fact one of those parents, who is cared for by a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, but it made me even more aware of how much they contribute to my lifestyle. Read it, you wont regret it. -- Angie McCartney, Stepmother of Sir Paul McCartney, and CEO, McCartney Multimedia Inc.To anyone in denial about what may soon be unfolding for their family, I urge you to PLEASE READ THIS BOOK!! Jane provides an insightful, sensitive and uplifting way to truly transform this potentially difficult process into a journey of love and healing. These pages contain tools for developing an awareness of how to confront fears about this journey, providing new insights and opportunities for laughter, and gentle ways to accept grief. It offers help for families so they can better understand their parent’s changing needs in order to create a more comfortable journey and loving passage. I am incredibly grateful to Jane for what she shares in this book; it helped me immensely, both personally and professionally! I’ve recommended it to many clients and colleagues to assist them in developing strategies for their individual circumstances. These pages also guided me in recognizing what I needed to do to heal my relationship with my mother and help her appreciate her life so that we were better prepared for experiencing her peaceful passing. Once that occurred, this book offered me guidance for my own self-healing. -- Lori Eberle, MA - Independent Educational Consultant, Certified POP Family Coach and Certified Parent CoachA must-read for children of aging parents. Jane Wolf Frances writes from a firm base of empathy and knowledge about a situation that--sooner or later--affects us all. Her book provided me with trustworthy companionship and practical guidance in just the right amounts. Extremely useful and highly recommended. -- Darcie Sanders, Trustee, Lyons Regional Library District and co-author of "Staying Home"Parenting Our Parents by Jane Wolf Frances is a brilliant, heartfelt and very personal book that I believe will become indispensableto a great many people. It is filled with important information from a woman who has gained this wisdom the hard way. And, as a practicing therapist she has the training and insight to share her insights in a very practical and appropriate manner. If you are in this parenting role or about to be this is the place to start. -- Rick Moss, PhD - Minister of Religious Science, and Developer of Awakening to Our GreatnessAs a caregiver of 10 years' duration and a gerontologist, I wish I had had this book at the beginning of my journey. That said, the book is still valuable to me and is mandatory reading for anyone taking care of his/her parents. The author raises many issues that resonate with me and my experiences. Two in particular stand out: on pp. 27-28, the author writes, "Sitting with my thoughts that day, I also uncovered a new feeling, an odd sense of power and influence I was pretty sure I didn't like...It wasn't power that I wanted...What I really longed for was a magic wand so that my Mom and Dad wouldn't be ill, in pain, disabled, or die." That is exactly how I feel: I am uncomfortable with the role/power reversal and long for the days when my parents, now just my father, were young and healthy (yes, even after 10 years). Second, Ms. Wolf Frances writes about how to look at caregiving. On pp. 28-29, she says, "One definition of the word `sacrifice' is `something we make sacred,' like an offering. Remembering this, I was able to re-visit the notion of loss by asking myself: was this reversal of customary roles something I could choose to make sacred rather than fill it with struggle and loss? All of a sudden, I saw an opening in my thinking. I'd found a way to look at this choice that moved me from potential losses to possible gains." Reading that was highly comforting and made me consider the honor it gives me to take care of my father. There is much more I could write because the book is richly layered with valuable information. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to savor it. -- Maria Siciliano, MSG, MPA - Principal and Founder, Gerontology in ActionParenting Our Parents: e” takes the guess work out of parenting older relatives and loved ones, by helping the reader make informed decisions, offering tools for communication, and plans for going forward at a time when confusion and denial can run rampant. Her “How To” guide offers a process and understanding that can make this daunting journey not just bearable but truly an act of love. I whole-heartedly recommend this book. -- Patricia Mitchell, Broadcaster, Life Coach and Consultant, Certified POP Family CoachEventually, everyone will need this book. -- Paul L. Hokemeyer, JD, PhD - Dr. Oz Show, Clinical Consultant, and author of "Fragile Power"This book is a revelation, a generous, comprehensive and wise guided tour of all the issues we confront in struggling to meet the needs of aging and increasingly dependent parents. It's loaded with wisdom, practical advice and inspiration on everything I and my family faced as our parents aged, got sick and faced death, needing their kids more and more. Frances writes as a longtime counselor seasoned with geriatric experience, but I found just as moving--and helpful--her unflinching accounts of her own journey in coming to terms with the needs of her aging parents. As I read, kept finding myself drifting off to replay something that happened in my family, and how something she said so perfectly applied. As our parents went through the end years of their lives, my husband and I kept reminding each other of nuggets of wisdom from the book--"Under-react!" my husband would remind me with a smile when I started getting upset about something that my elderly dad had said. Now that my husband and I are approaching the stage of being "aging parents" ourselves, I want everyone in OUR family to read this book to help them support us with wisdom and love. And as a longtime developer of training programs for major companies, I see the Frances' book as an invaluble learning resource for people in all walks of life. I recommend the book wholeheartedly. -- Holly Knox, Instructional Designer (retired)Jane Wolf Frances has written an extraordinarily valuable book for so many people who currently or will eventually care for their parents. She is an empathetic instructor who can help others with the difficulties of recognizing the signs that our parents need help and following through with those decisions that affect the lives of both parties. Her background as a psychotherapist, attorney and coach coupled with her own experience in this challenging situation make her the perfect author for this topic. She writes with passion and with precision --- a rare combination indeed. People NEED to read this book and keep it close – it will aid their hearts and minds and enrich their lives. -- Rikki Klieman, Attorney and Legal Analyst“NHS helps middle class families obtain excellent long-term nursing home care paid through government benefits while preserving and protecting family assets. We have been in the field of nursing home care for over 40 years. Parenting Our Parents is critical because so many people are dealing with caring for their parents long before they realize that they have a problem. The issues have likely been happening for a decade. The lack of understanding of what they are dealing with have caused them to make poor decisions that is completely unfamiliar. Parenting Our Parents gives individuals the guidance, insight and direction they need to navigate these potential problems and ensure that mistakes are not made that can be extremely harmful and in some cases disastrous. We strongly encourage anyone currently caring for an elderly parent or will be providing that care in the near future to read the book and get the answers you will need now.” -- Zoran Basich, Founder, Nursing Home Solutions

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Book SynopsisWorking Daughter is a revelatory look at who’s caring for our aging population and how these unpaid family caregivers are trying to manage caring for their parents, raising their children, maintaining relationships, and pursuing their careers. It follows the author, who was enjoying a fast-paced career in marketing and raising two children when both of her parents were diagnosed with terminal illnesses on the same day. In the challenges she faced and the choices she made, readers will learn how they can navigate their own caregiving experiences and prepare for when they are inevitably called on to care for their parents. Table of ContentsAcknowledgments Introduction1 Accept2 Absolve 3 Prioritize 4 Flex 5 Choose 6 Manage 7 Disrupt 8 Renew 9 Plan10 Reflect Notes Bibliography Index

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Book SynopsisA hopeful and practical guide to taming the challenges of dementia with creative interventions inspired by real stories of sufferers and caregivers alike.If you've ever cared for someone with dementia, you might empathize with Alice, who tumbled down a rabbit hole and discovered herself in an unhappy world where time moved oddly, animals and plants spoke, but mostly to berate you. Familiar objects became terribly out of scale. If you're caring for someone with dementia now, you might feel like someone changed the rules of reality and that you need a guide, preferably someone kinder than the perennially late rabbit. This book supports the journey—taken by both the caregiver and the person with dementia—providing loved ones with practical recommendations and enriched with human empathy. This book helps ease the stress by offering interventions and non-pharmaceutical therapeutic suggestions. It helps decode dementia's visceral world and supports non-cognitive human experiences. It shares stories of real people struggling to survive the challenges presented by dementia paired with practical examples of interventions that target the miseries of dementia behaviors, triggers, and causalities induced by them. The book provides options in the art of caregiving alongside the power of place, furnishings, light, color, technology, nature, and the senses. Barbara Huelat explores options in human engagement, the experience of destinations, positive distractions, familiar settings, furnishings, light, color, technology, nature, and the emotion of the senses. She offers design interventions that support the family caregivers in functional and emotional outcomes. No cure exists for dementia, but the tips, tools, strategies and suggestions include here provide tools for caregivers and those with dementia to make the experience more comfortable and calm.

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Book SynopsisThe word "caregiver" typically suggests someone doing all the giving for a frail, physically challenged, or aging person, who is doing all the receiving. Marty Richards proposes a rebalanced approach of "caresharing." From this perspective, the "cared for" and the "carer" share a deep sense of connection. Each has strengths and resources. Each can teach the other. Each can share in grief, hope, wisdom and forgiveness. The book's focus is to help caregivers realise that they are not alone in their journey. Richards broadens the scope of the give-and-take relationship to include multigenerational families and faith communities, looking at the strengths each has to offer in the caregiving network. In order to keep the spirit alive, Richards offers a mulitlayered, reciprocal process: · The Dance of Sharing Care · Sharing Wisdom: What the Frail Teach the Well · Sharing Roles: Reinventing Family Roles in Sharing Care · Sharing "Soul to Soul": A Special Relationship with People with Dementia · Sharing Grief: Dealing with the Little Losses and the Big Ones · Sharing Forgiveness: A Key Spiritual Journey · Sharing Hope and Heart: An Active Process One Step at a TimeTrade Review"Opens up a world of possibilities of ways to 'share' the caring experience and provides a detailed path to support people on their own journey." —Rev. Gwen Brandfass, chair, Forum on Religion, Spirituality and Aging (a constituent group of the American Society on Aging) "Offers precious wisdom and comfort.... Points the way for caregiver and care receiver to learn, grow, heal and thrive amidst soul-searing challenges." —Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, director, Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism, Reconstructionist Rabbinical College; author, Jewish Visions for Aging: A Professional Guide for Fostering Wholeness “The perfect handbook for anyone called to give or receive care. Brims with wise counsel, inspiring stories and practical resources. Offers a fresh and hopeful vision of mutual relationships to help us realize this graced togetherness.” —Kathleen Fischer, PhD, author, Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging “A creative and vital new approach to caring. Provides an honest, down-to-earth approach to the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of the caregiver and the care receiver. A great blessing and benefit to all persons involved in caring relationships.” —Dr. Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., director, Center on Aging and Older Adult Ministries, The United Methodist Church “Nothing less than masterful. Richards' concrete and profound perspective on hope and how hope affects caresharing is a wonderful addition to existing literature on caregiving and care receiving. Needs to be read by every caregiver and care receiver as well as their families and friends.” —Rev. Donald Koepke, director emeritus, California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging “Gently but thoroughly confronts the myth of independence. We are in this life together. A must read for all pastors and parish life directors.” —Rev. James P. Oberle, S.S., PhD, director, Holy Spirit Center, Anchorage, Alaska “An inspiration to many of us in the field of Alzheimer’s care. Touches the spirit in all of us, teaches and inspires. Highly recommended.” —David Troxel, coauthor, The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s CareTable of ContentsPrelude xi 1 THE DANCE OF SHARING CARE 1 An Invitation to Share Care 1 A New Vision for Sharing Care 2 The Basic Steps of the Caresharing Dance 7 Expanding the Caresharing Network 13 The Body/Mind/Spirit Connection 21 When Things Get Complicated 30 2 SHARING WISDOM: WHAT THE FRAIL TEACH THE WELL 37 Inner Wisdom 37 Clearing the Way 39 Putting Yourself in the Role of a Learner 42 Gaining New Understanding from Stories 51 Receiving Spiritual Strength 54 3 FAMILIES SHARING THE CARE: REINVENTING THE ROLES AND RULES 58 Family Systems 58 Family Roles 60 Family Rules 72 Family Secrets 78 4 SHARING "SOUL TO SOUL": A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE WITH COGNITIVE LIMITS 83 Facing Difficult Challenges 83 Understanding the Stages of Dementia 84 Building Effective Communication 93 Keeping the Spirit Alive 100 Dealing with Difficult Behaviors 105 Connecting Soul to Soul 107 5 SHARING GRIEF: COPING WITH THE “LARGE” AND THE “LITTLE” LOSSES 118 The Presence of Grief 118 Facing Transitions 119 Facing Losses 120 Dimensions of Grief 127 Grief Responses 138 Coping with Grief 141 Spiritual Dimensions of Grief 147 6 SHARING FORGIVENESS: A KEY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY IN CARESHARING 155 The Importance of Forgiveness 155 The Nature of Forgiveness 158 The Barriers to Forgiveness 160 Relationship Matters 165 Daily Matters 168 Where to Start 172 Spiritual Dimensions of Forgiveness 180 Reconciliation 183 7 SHARING HOPE: AN ACTIVE PROCESS ONE STEP AT A TIME 188 The Importance of Hope in Caresharing 188 Definitions of Hope 190 Four Key Aspects of Hope 193 Keeping Hope Alive 200 An Action Plan for Building on Hope 206 Postlude 223 Suggestions for Further Reading 225 Acknowledgments 227

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Book SynopsisThe word caregiver typically suggests someone doing all the giving for a frail, physically or mentally challenged, or aging person who is doing all the receiving. Marty Richards proposes a rebalanced approach of "caresharing." From this perspective, the "cared for" and the "carer" share a deep sense of connection. Each has strengths and resources. Each can teach the other. Each can share in grief, hope, love and wisdom. Richards shows you how to move from independent caregiving to interdependent caresharing by engaging the spiritual and emotional aspects of caring for a loved one. Whether you are a daughter or son, a husband or wife, a sibling, long-term partner or good friend, CARESHARING offers a multi-layered, reciprocal process that will help you keep your spirit-and your loved one's spirit-alive in challenging times.Trade Review"Opens up a world of possibilities of ways to 'share' the caring experience and provides a detailed path to support people on their own journey." —Rev. Gwen Brandfass, chair, Forum on Religion, Spirituality and Aging (a constituent group of the American Society on Aging) "Offers precious wisdom and comfort.... Points the way for caregiver and care receiver to learn, grow, heal and thrive amidst soul-searing challenges." —Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, director, Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism, Reconstructionist Rabbinical College; author, Jewish Visions for Aging: A Professional Guide for Fostering Wholeness “The perfect handbook for anyone called to give or receive care. Brims with wise counsel, inspiring stories and practical resources. Offers a fresh and hopeful vision of mutual relationships to help us realize this graced togetherness.” —Kathleen Fischer, PhD, author, Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging “A creative and vital new approach to caring. Provides an honest, down-to-earth approach to the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of the caregiver and the care receiver. A great blessing and benefit to all persons involved in caring relationships.” —Dr. Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., director, Center on Aging and Older Adult Ministries, The United Methodist Church “Nothing less than masterful. Richards' concrete and profound perspective on hope and how hope affects caresharing is a wonderful addition to existing literature on caregiving and care receiving. Needs to be read by every caregiver and care receiver as well as their families and friends.” —Rev. Donald Koepke, director emeritus, California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging “Gently but thoroughly confronts the myth of independence. We are in this life together. A must read for all pastors and parish life directors.” —Rev. James P. Oberle, S.S., PhD, director, Holy Spirit Center, Anchorage, Alaska “An inspiration to many of us in the field of Alzheimer’s care. Touches the spirit in all of us, teaches and inspires. Highly recommended.” —David Troxel, coauthor, The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s CareTable of ContentsPrelude xi 1 THE DANCE OF SHARING CARE 1 An Invitation to Share Care 1 A New Vision for Sharing Care 2 The Basic Steps of the Caresharing Dance 7 Expanding the Caresharing Network 13 The Body/Mind/Spirit Connection 21 When Things Get Complicated 30 2 SHARING WISDOM: WHAT THE FRAIL TEACH THE WELL 37 Inner Wisdom 37 Clearing the Way 39 Putting Yourself in the Role of a Learner 42 Gaining New Understanding from Stories 51 Receiving Spiritual Strength 54 3 FAMILIES SHARING THE CARE: REINVENTING THE ROLES AND RULES 58 Family Systems 58 Family Roles 60 Family Rules 72 Family Secrets 78 4 SHARING "SOUL TO SOUL": A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE WITH COGNITIVE LIMITS 83 Facing Difficult Challenges 83 Understanding the Stages of Dementia 84 Building Effective Communication 93 Keeping the Spirit Alive 100 Dealing with Difficult Behaviors 105 Connecting Soul to Soul 107 5 SHARING GRIEF: COPING WITH THE “LARGE” AND THE “LITTLE” LOSSES 118 The Presence of Grief 118 Facing Transitions 119 Facing Losses 120 Dimensions of Grief 127 Grief Responses 138 Coping with Grief 141 Spiritual Dimensions of Grief 147 6 SHARING FORGIVENESS: A KEY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY IN CARESHARING 155 The Importance of Forgiveness 155 The Nature of Forgiveness 158 The Barriers to Forgiveness 160 Relationship Matters 165 Daily Matters 168 Where to Start 172 Spiritual Dimensions of Forgiveness 180 Reconciliation 183 7 SHARING HOPE: AN ACTIVE PROCESS ONE STEP AT A TIME 188 The Importance of Hope in Caresharing 188 Definitions of Hope 190 Four Key Aspects of Hope 193 Keeping Hope Alive 200 An Action Plan for Building on Hope 206 Postlude 223 Suggestions for Further Reading 225 Acknowledgments 227

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Book SynopsisThe Joyful Caregiver teaches how to be the best caregiver for a loved one in order to help fight their chronic illness. Author, speaker, teacher, and caregiver Josephine Grace uses The Graceful Process™ within The Joyful Caregiver to bring ease and comfort to caregivers and their loved one as they get the care and help they need to fight their chronic illness. For those who are serious about dedicating a portion of their life to the service of a family member who is facing chronic illness, The Joyful Caregiver is for them. Within its pages, caregivers learn how to: Help their loved one beat their chronic disease through clear and informative practice Communicate clearly with doctors and prevent medical errors with their care Get extra support and resources when they need them Care for themselves in the process and be guilt free Make decisions coming from love rather than fear Stay strong and give their loved one the support and care they need, no matter how hard it gets

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Book SynopsisNo Regrets: Hope for Your Caregiving Season shares Rayna Neises’ personal heart-warming stories and practical suggestions for journeying through one’s caregiving season. As people age, so do their loved ones. The healthy integration of caring for an aging parent requires being able to walk them all the way to the end of their life while still having a life to walk back into. No Regrets helps caregivers consider how being intentional in their season of caring will allow them to care for their loved one well while at the same time not losing themselves in the caring.

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Book SynopsisAccording to the 2009 census, more than five million people living in the United States have Alzheimer's disease or some other form of dementia. Not reported in these statistics are the fifteen million family caregivers who, in total, contribute seventeen billion hours of unpaid care each year. This book addresses the needs and challenges faced by adult children and other family members who are scrambling to make sense of what is happening to themselves and the loved ones in their care. The author, an experienced medical and science writer known for her ability to clearly explain complex and emotionally sensitive topics, is also a former family caregiver herself. Using both personal narrative and well-researched, expert-verified content, she guides readers through the often-confusing and challenging world of dementia care. She carefully escorts caregivers through the basics of dementia as a brain disorder, its accompanying behaviors, the procedures used to diagnose and stage the disease, and the legal aspects of providing care for an adult who is no longer competent.She also covers topics not usually included in other books on dementia: family dynamics, caregiver burnout, elder abuse, incontinence, finances and paying for care, the challenges same-sex families face, and coping with the eventuality of death and estate management. Each chapter begins with a real-life vignette taken from the author's personal experience and concludes with "Frequently Asked Questions" and "Worksheets" sections. The FAQs tackle specific issues and situations that often make caregiving such a challenge. The worksheets are a tool to help readers organize, evaluate, and self-reflect. A glossary of terms, an appendix, and references for further reading give readers a command of the vocabulary clinicians use and access to valuable resources.Trade Review•⊂ FIRST PLACE WINNER: 2014 National Federation of Press Women Communications Contest Best General Nonfiction Book for Adult Readers •⊂ FIRST PLACE WINNER: 2014 New Mexico-Arizona Book Awards, Health Book category “[A] splendid manual… combines the practicality of a how-to guide with the heartfelt story of caring for a parent suffering from senile dementia. [Shagam] courageously transforms her painful journey into an enlightened guide and a primer on appreciating what you have while you have it.”-Publishers Weekly“This advice-filled book is a helpful, service-oriented addition to the growing number of books about caring for loved ones with dementia, including Alzheimer's disease.”-Booklist“Janet Yagoda Shagam is thoughtful, compassionate and clear in how she addresses what for many families is a heart-breaking topic.”-Prime Time Magazine

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Book SynopsisA caregiver’s journey often contains beliefs and behaviors that act like emotional landmines and can cause serious damage. Avoiding these landmines, while finding a path to safety, requires caregivers to hear from someone with experience they can trust. Author and radio host Peter Rosenberger draws upon three decades of caring for his wife through a medical nightmare to discuss seven caregiver landmines that wreak havoc in a caregiver’s life. Helping them navigate to a place of safety, 7 Caregiver Landmines: And How You Can Avoid Them equips fellow caregivers to live a healthier, calmer, and even more joyful life—because "Healthy Caregivers Make Better Caregivers!"

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Book SynopsisA huge majority of people at the end of their lives want to die at home, but only a small number manage to do this. This vital book asks why. Many of us have experienced an elderly loved one coming to the end of their life in a hospital - over-treated, infantilised and, worst of all, facing a death without dignity. Families are being herded into making decisions that are not to the benefit of the patient. Professor Ken Hillman has worked in intensive care since its inception. But he is appalled by the way the ICU has become a place where the frail, soon-to-die and dying are given unnecessary operations and life-prolonging treatments without their wishes being taken into account.A Good Life to the End will embolden and equip us to ask about the options that doctors in hospital should offer us but mostly don't. It lets us know that there are other, gentler options for patients and their loved ones that can be much more sympathetic to the final wishes of most people facing the end of their lives. An invaluable support for the elderly as well as their families, and a rallying cry for anyone who's had to witness the unnecessary suffering of a loved one, A Good Life to the End will spark debate, challenge the status quo and change lives.

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Book Synopsis***A Waterstones Best Books of 2022 pick***'David Haslam is uniquely placed to reflect on how healthcare has lost its way, what needs to be done to fix it and why all of us are responsible for doing so... The importance and timeliness of his messages shines through.' Dr Phil Hammond'A fascinating and important book.' Dr Amanda BrownWith a single drug in the UK currently costing £340,000 per patient per year, or a gene therapy in the USA being costed at $1.2million, who should get such treatments, and how can we begin to afford them? Should we all be entitled to timely mental health therapy? How should we care for our old? As we grapple with the world's worst pandemic for a century, our minds are on our health more than ever. But what should we rightfully expect of doctors? In this original and thought-provoking book, Sir David Haslam explores what good healthcare should achieve and asks how we pay for it. Informed by patient stories and data from across the world - from US big pharma to Britain's NHS - this is an urgent and often moving examination of our most important asset: our health.Trade ReviewA superb analysis of the thorny, intractable, endlessly sidestepped issues that bedevil 21st-century healthcare... It is genuinely exhilarating to read a proper, heavyweight analysis framed in prose as blunt, on point and devoid of spin as Haslam's.... This brilliant book offers no glib solutions, only thoughtful suggestions, but the questions it poses are electrifying. * Observer *David Haslam is uniquely placed to reflect on how healthcare has lost its way, what needs to be done to fix it and why all of us are responsible for doing so... The importance and timeliness of his messages shines through. -- Dr Phil Hammond, author of Dr Hammond’s Covid CasebookA fascinating and important book. -- Dr Amanda Brown, Sunday Times bestselling author of The Prison DoctorCompelling... Refreshing * Guardian *It is hard to think of anyone more qualified to reflect on all aspects of health and healthcare than David Haslam... Clear and accessible. -- Professor Sir Michael Marmot, author of The Health GapThis insightful, extensively referenced work has taken the hugely complex challenges of the provision of universal state-funded healthcare in a sustainable way and unpicked them thoughtfully... I was absorbed from the outset. -- Professor Dame Helen Stokes-Lampard, Chair of the Academy of Medical Royal CollegesA must-read for all who care about the nation's health and our healthcare. -- Professor Martin Marshall, Chair of the Royal College of General PractitionersTable of Contents1: We've Got a Problem 2: How Did We Get Here? 3: Paying the Price 4: Why Is it All So Expensive? 5: Valuing a Life 6: Better than Cure 7: Overtreatment and Overdiagnosis 8: Hearts and Minds 9: Age and Ageing 10: And in the End . 11: Care in the Future 12: A Way Forward

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Book SynopsisThere is increased interest in trauma informed care in the UK andworldwide, however so far there are limited resources for professionalsproviding training to help health and social care staff (who may have had verylittle training in attachment theory) to provide care which is trauma informedat an emotional as well as practical level. The CaPLET Training Manual willguide facilitators in making the core psychodynamic concepts which arerelevant to providing trauma-informed care accessible to health and socialcare staff. In addition, it will enable facilitators to help staff betterunderstand the people they care for in the context of their histories oftrauma and develop insight into the ways in which attending to their ownemotional and behavioural responses can help them provide better care.

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