Description
Book SynopsisIt is a valuable tool for social workers, nurses, and family therapists.
Trade Review"An important book about the often difficult and painful process that begins long before a loved family member enters a nursing home... A thorough, excellent and humane book that helps families navigate a difficult, traumatic life change in the most successful way possible." - Inside GCM "His inclusion of real-life stories from the families he's encountered over 20 years anchors the book compassionately." - Los Angeles Times "This is both a very humanistic book and a very practical one... written with the insight of a sociologist and geriatric care manager, someone who sees the human side of the equation first." - ElderCare Online"
Table of ContentsPreface
Acknowledgments
Part I: Caring Decisions
1. When Someone You Love Goes into Care
Becoming a Caregiver
Becoming "the Family Member" of Someone in Care
Learning the Role of "the Family Member"
Types and Levels of Care
Other Considerations
Alastair
2. Deciding about Care
How to Talk about Care
Choosing the Right Time
Stress and Burnout
When a Parent Chooses to Live at Risk
Making the Decision
Your Legal Right to Make Decisions for Your Relative: A Warning
Advance Directives and Medical Decisions
Lydia Jean
3. Family Decision Making
Family Relationships and Care Decisions
How to Make Family Decisions
Family Meetings
Keep Your Relative Involved
Mary
4. Guilt, Loss, and Grief
What Is Guilt?
Conflicts That Give Rise to Guilt
Families and Guilt
Adult Children
Guilt, Culture, and Society Today
When Guilt Has Other Purposes in Your Life
Not All Relationships Were Ideal
Guilt and Dementia
Dealing with Guilt
Letting Go
Grief and Loss
Handling Grief
Marjorie
Part II: The Residence
5. About Nursing Homes and Assisted Living Facilities
Keeping Your Relative at Home
Where to Start Finding a Nursing Home or Assisted Living Facility
Applying for Seniors Housing
About Good Care and Good Caring
Models of Care
On Abuse
Specialized Dementia Care Units
Costs
Nursing Homes and Legal Responsibility
Mildred
6. Viewing the Residence
Staffing
Programming
Policies
Dining
Physical Plant
Surveys and Accreditation
John and Joyce
7. Staff Roles: Who Does What?
Receptionist
Administrator
Personal Care: Nurse'sAides
Nurses
Dietitian and Food Services Staff
Social Worker
Recreation Therapists
Rehabilitation Staff
Housekeepers / Building MaintenanceStaff
Pharmacist
Physicians
Other Staff Members
Mabel
8. Nursing Home and Assisted Living Systems
How the System Works
A Typical Day
Cyrus
Part III: Moving in and Settling In
9. Preparations for Moving Day
How to Prepare Your Relative
Get to Know the Home in Advance
Equipment
Valuables
Clothing and Laundry
Plan Ahead for Moving Day
Plan to Take Care of Yourself
Betty
10. Moving Day
Stay Calm
If Your Relative Refuses to Go
Walking through the Door
When You First Arrive
Joan
11. Settling In
Resident Adjustment
Changes and Differences in Behavior
Dementia and Behavior
Sex and Relationships in Nursing Homes and Assisted Living
On Staying Healthy
Your Emotional Adjustment
The Gap in Your Life
Phases of Adjustment
Acceptance
New Relationships
Bill
Part IV: Being the Family Member of Someone in Care
12. Care and Care Planning
Basic Standards of Care
How Care Is Organized
Care Conferences
Charts
Medication and Care Planning
Medication and Pain Control
Restraints
Toileting and Incontinence
Falls
Pressure Sores
Depression
Alcohol, Drugs, and Other Addictions
Roommates
Louise
13. Communication and Problem Solving
Working the System
Communication
Gaps in the System
When Things Go Missing
Your Role
Making Complaints
Throwing Bouquets
Alvin (Part 1)
14. Visiting
How Often to Visit
Visiting Someone Who Has Dementia
Going Out and Going Home
Ending a Visit
Companions
A Few More Words about Sex
Jane
15. Out-of-Town Caregivers
Professional Geriatric Care Managers
Lloyd
16. Making a Home Better
Include the Resident in the Change
Individual Actions
Working with Other Families
Working with the System
Working with Government
Ann
17. Difficult Decisions at the End of Life
Living and Dying
Talking about Death
Facing Feelings about Dying and Death
Decisions about Dying and Death
Hospice and Palliative Care
Younger People and Death
What Occurs during the Dying Process
After Death
Saying Good-bye to the Home
Donald
Alvin (Part 2)
Appendix 1: Accessing Care in Canada
Appendix 2: Questionnaires
Appendix
Some Common Medical Abbreviations
Resources
Index
