Search results for ""author helen wallen""

THE RULES1) Try to sleep when the baby sleeps. (SO NEVER. EVER. UNTIL YOU ARE AN EMPTY WINE-SOAKED HUSK AND FALL DOWN DEAD IN THE BABY AISLE AT TESCO)2) Try to eat when the baby sleeps. (SEE POINT ABOVE)3) Try to get basic household chores done when the baby sleeps. (ABOVE!!)4) Batch cook food and freeze in individual portions for easy re-heating. (OR DELIVEROO . . . WITH WINE. AND CRYING)5) Try hiring a cleaner to take the pressure off. (OR JUST USE BABY WIPES)6) Take time to shower or bathe in the evenings when you can leave the baby with your partner. (OR JUST USE BABY WIPES)7) Make tea or coffee in the Thermos so it stays hot. (WHAT IS THIS 'HOT' OFWHICH YOU SPEAK?!)8) Don't be afraid to ask for help, or ask people to leave. (COMMUNICATION VIA WHATSAPP ONLY)9) Remember to look after and take time for yourself. (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)After a tough pregnancy, Emily is determined to tackle motherhood like a pro. But she quickly learns that Insta-Perfect-Parenting (and sleep) is hard to come by, no matter how much money you spend in Mothercare. Irritatingly, her friend Molly seems to be breezing it. But with a business venture as well as a baby, is she taking on too much?Liz looks as though she might have it all worked out. But when a tragedy derails her new relationship, she has some serious decisions to make. Celebrating female friendship, the highs and lows of motherhood, and the lifesaving power of a jumperoo, THE MUMMY LESSONS follows a year of highs and lows for Emily, Molly and Liz as they learn the hardest lesson of all: life doesn't always follow the rules . . .***********What readers are saying about Helen Wallen's BABY BOOM!'Funny, sweet, real and relatable. Couldn't put it down.''Hilarious, witty and so easy to get lost in! This book shows the real life before and after your baby has been born!''Loved it! Great read for mums and dads who want to keep it real!''If you've had kids, you'll laugh out loud!''Fantastic!!! I couldn't put this book down'

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**Frank and hilarious fiction from award-winning, potty-mouthed blogger, toddler-survivor and baby-producer, 'Just a Normal Mummy'***********No one said the journey to motherhood was easy . . .Increased face-girth, back acne and gagging every time she's in the presence of vegetables isn't quite the beautiful start Emily had planned for her unborn baby . . . Molly's unexpected pregnancy somehow turns her boyfriend into the poncy-vegan-nut-milk-enforcer, but she breezes it, as she breezes everything. (Including still being able to eat avocados much to Emily's annoyance.)Liz quickly realises if she's to move her life on, she needs to get rid of the married man she's in love with - especially now she's realised he's been hiding more than his wedding ring . . .It's a story about becoming parents, but most of all it's a story about love, laughter and chatting to your best friends about your fanny on WhatsApp.'Perfect for new mums, soon-to-be-mums - and dads!' Soap Magazine

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