Search results for ""Author Steven D. Price""

What is it about lawyers that has made them the butt of hundreds and hundreds of jokes over the centuries? Whatever the reason, everyone—including lawyers and judges themselves—has laughed at attorney-aimed humor. Now here is the best and most recent collection of jokes, anecdotes, quotations, and proverbs that poke fun (. . . and malice) at the legal profession. In summation, you must find The World’s Funniest Lawyer Jokes guilty of disorder in court and sentence all who read this perfect gift for any lawyer, client, judge, law student, or wannabe attorney to many hours of laughter.

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“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”—Groucho MarxAn insult can be offensive and infuriating, but it means nothing if you have a better comeback. 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources, with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, along with many others.

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A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.

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Thrilling tales of the Old West by the people who knew it best! Most readers love tales of the western frontier, including stories of cowboys and gunslingers, bank robbers and desperadoes, good guys and bad. In Great American Western Stories, editor Steven D. Price has pulled together some of the finest writings about the American West that capture readers imaginations, culled from books, newspapers, and magazines. It is an unforgettable collection, and includes stories by Zane Grey, Owen Wister, Bret Harte, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Mark Twain, Helen Cody Wetmore, Theodore Roosevelt, O. Henry, and many others.

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Turning 50? 60? 80? 90? Baby boomers and AARP members unite. You are the funniest generations. This book proves it! Laugh it up with this great gift!Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one’s golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one’s anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who’s reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . . One-Liners: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” —Andy Rooney Memory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” The husband replied, “I know, but there isn’t just one—there are hundreds!” Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “I’m just doing what you said, Doc—‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’” The doctor said, “I didn't say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’” Belly Laughs is a “lode” of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: “If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.”

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A valuable collection of the greatest wisdom and quotes about why we write. Author and journalist Gene Fowler put it best: “Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.” Anyone who has ever wanted or been required to create something more complicated than a shopping list or a Tweet knows there’s more truth than poetry in the observation. The process can be difficult, frustratingly so when we realize that although we use words all the time, coming up with the right ones can be a daunting task. Even the most celebrated writers have reflected on this creative process, and their observations and conclusions are collected in this book. The compiler, himself no stranger to a blank page or computer screen, has selected the wisest and wittiest utterances on such subjects as why we write (Ernest Hemingway: “I have a good life but I must write because if I do not write a certain amount I do not enjoy the rest of my life.”); how to write (Anton Chekhov: “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.”); and writing for money (Cormac McCarthy: “I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this.”). It has been said that reading won’t make you a good writer, but it will make you a better writer. Dip into this lively and useful treasure trove, and you’ll be well on your way.

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Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

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Making sensible decisions during a time of grief is never easy. Losing a husband, wife, father, mother, child or another near and dear person forces you to make a multitude of decisions, some large and life-changing, some small but emotionally charged. And if substantial amounts of money or conflicting wishes of friends and relatives are involved, making arrangements can become overwhelming. More Than Sympathy is designed to help you through these difficult circumstances. It covers: - Preliminary formalities, such as securing the residence and valuables immediately following the loved one’s death - Selecting the funeral home - Planning the funeral or memorial service, including suggestions for eulogies- Grief counseling and therapy - Probating the Will or administering an intestate estate- Survivor benefits, pensions, and other financial and tax consequences- Estate planning to avoid probate and other estate issues through gifts, trusts, and other instruments- And more Drawing from the counsel of funeral directors, clergy, attorneys, estate planners, and psychologists and with references to websites and other sources of further information, More Than Sympathy provides straightforward and reassuring advice that is both practical and comforting at this difficult time.

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A nasty insult (is there any other kind?) can be offensive and infuriating, but we’ve all had those moments when we’ve employed one or just wished we had come up with the perfect nasty thing to say. Even better, having the perfect comeback to one of these rude remarks brings us all the personal satisfaction in the world. The Nastiest Things Ever Said gathers together the very sharpest of these barbs from a wide variety of sources with some of the wickedest put-downs from the literary, political, and entertainment worlds, and everywhere else people say nasty things to each other.

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Saddle up for a wild ride through those thrilling days of yesteryear. In Stories of the Old West, Steven Price serves up a heapin’ helpin’ of tales of America’s frontier days: ranches and rodeos, lawmen and desperadoes, saloons and gunslingers, wilderness exploring and range warfare, and everything else that reflects our fascination with our Western heritage from its earliest untamed era to the dawn of the 20th Century. Contributors include Zane Grey, Buffalo Bill Cody, Theodore Roosevelt, Calamity Jane, Stewart Edward White, Frederic Remington, Ned Buntline, Mark Twain (“Roughing It”), Thomas North Willa Cather, Helen Cody Wetmore, O. Henry, Bret Harte and Owen Wister, to name only a few.

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