Search results for ""Author Richard O. Smith""

Amazon no. 1 author and comedian Richard O. Smith is once again sticking his fork of curiosity into the live toaster of opportunity. Yes, that is quite dangerous. But he fears no extended metaphor. Then one man scrapes the burnt bits of disappointment off the dry toast of life. Once described as "a jam-packed jamboree of jollity" by TV's Dr Lucy Worsley, Smith's latest comic essays build upon the success of his previous book Oxford Examined: Town & Clown ("An outstanding comic writer" - Countdown's Susie Dent). Oxford hums with history and humour. So inevitably many of these hilarious - but unflinchingly truthful - short stories occur around his home city. They look at Oxford topics as diverse as participating in a clinical trial, the dangers of cycling and bizarre University rituals. Yet The Best Ladled Pans of Rice and Penne is also written for a national (and international… let's dream big) audience. Consequently the stories look at themes that bind us all: the universality of dealing with a loved one's illness, the death of a parent, meeting celebrities, rumbling illicit lovers, encountering daily humiliation, dealing with success and its constant pushy companion failure, and queuing to meet a more successful bestselling author who turns out to be a, er, dog. Okay, so it's mainly about encountering humiliation.

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Shy boy Amadeo reigns supreme at table football in his local cafe. Taking on all comers he is one of "the unbeatables" with his loyal team of tiny foosballers. But there's another "unbeatable" in town. Aggrieved by his only ever defeat at the hands of Amadeo in a foosball match when they were kids, Flash the town bully returns to seek revenge. Not only does he destroy the foosball table, but he challenges Amadeo to a game of actual football. Amadeo has never played real football - and Flash, with his insatiable quest for glory, has subsequently risen to become the world's most famous soccer star. With the future of the village at stake and his foosballers scattered, the situation looks hopeless for Amadeo. Unless he can recruit the help of his eccentric fellow villagers and the girl he loves, Lara, to take on the world's best football team captained by his nemesis Flash. And unless the foossballers can be reunited. "It'll be like Barcelona against a non-league team with an injury crisis," predicts Lara. What nobody predicts, however, is how Amadeo's foosballers will affect the game...The Unbeatables novel is the ultimate fantasy football story.Expanding upon the original movie, the novel includes additional adventures and characters. Written for young adults (and not so young adults), the book is a scintillating, action-packed 90 minutes of end-to-end incident, comedic flair, goalmouth scrambles and dubious off the ball challenges on the ethos of the modern game

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Repeatedly jamming his fork of curiosity into the live toaster of opportunity, comedian Richard O. Smith captures the experience of living in Oxford in probably the funniest book written about the Dreaming Spires. Collected here are 70 of his best Oxford Examined columns from the award-winning Oxford Times magazine Oxfordshire Limited Edition including several previously unpublished stories.In these unflinchingly truthful columns he meets celebrities (Kate Middleton, Dara O'Briain, the one who plays Phoebe in Friends and a predictably grumpy Alan Sugar), visits the 11th dimension with an Oxford University maths protegee, gatecrashes Encaenia, flirts with a Roman slave girl from 79AD, is ejected from the Oxford Union by burly security, witnesses a comeuppance for a pack of arrogant students, conducts a walking tour for Britain's scariest hen party, moves a library (which transpires to be harder work than moving a mountain), sees Britain's most pretentious theatre production, participates in the UK's national bell ringing championships (yes, that is a thing), allows Oxford University psychologists to experiment on him, rescues four escaped horses in a busy Oxford street (thankfully it wasn't the apocalypse), becomes a crime-fighting superhero, is hospitalised in a serious bike accident, gets chased by a furious revenge-fixated woman dressed as a Friesian cow, strides out of his house one morning and disappears down a giant sink hole, mentors two stand-up comedy virgins, commits a devastating social faux pas and pledges to never use a split infinitive or sentence this long again.

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This is the story of how an uneducated Oxford pastry cook became the first Englishman to fly, in a self-built balloon powered by primitive, and potentially lethal, hydrogen. Despite taking off in force 8 gales, crashing into hills and plopping into the Irish Sea, James Sadler became a rare pioneering aeronaut to survive such perilous ascents. Good luck was not hereditary; his son's balloon fatally collided with a chimney. Sadler advanced the scientific evolution of lighter-than-air flight, and took part in both of the famous races that so captivated the public in late eighteenth-century Europe: across the Channel, and the Irish Sea. He earned Lord Nelson's endorsement for improving the Royal Navy with applied science, created one of the first - perhaps the very first - mobile steam engines and was revered by fans like Percy Shelley and Dr. Johnson. Yet even the brightest stars one day collapse, as Sadler's name emits virtually no light today. Like Sadler, Richard O. Smith emanates from Oxford's Town not Gown. Like Sadler, he wants to look down on Oxford - literally - and his admiration for the balloonist culminates in him replicating the first ever flight, also over Oxford. But there is a problem. The author suffers from acute acrophobia, a crippling fear of heights. This prevents him from standing on a stool, yet alone dangling at 3,000 feet beneath an oversized party balloon. To overcome his chronic height anxiety, he seeks pre-flight counselling, learning all about current understanding of phobias and anxieties. Here he discovers that he is also bathmophobic - a fully-functioning adult who is afraid of stairs. Inspired by Sadler, Smith sets out to overcome his debilitating fear and ascend in a balloon over Oxford. 'Be positive. You just need a will to do it,' counsels a psychologist. So, taking that advice, he starts positively, by making a will.

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Britain is a nation of good sports - literally, it turns out, given our country’s wonderful array of eccentric and bizarrely inventive pastimes. Yes, we know New Zealand are good at rugby, Brazil at football, while Australia and South Africa were countries specifically created for people who take sport far too seriously, but have those sporty nations ever produced a World Champion Pie Eater (OK, Shane Warne notwithstanding)? Has Brazil provided a F1 Pram Racing world champ? Has an Aussie won the World Nettle Eating Championship? A New Zealander tossed his way to Haggis Hurling domination? I can’t hear you Johnny Foreigner, and I’m choosing to interpret your silence as a ‘no’. Because the truth is, ladies and gentlemen of this great, mighty and resilient sporting land we call both Britain and home, we have provided year after year, true world champions in cheese rolling, competitive ploughing, medieval football re-enactment and pram racing. We may not have produced a Wimbledon Champion since the... er... the Wars of the Roses, but put down your Jules Rimet trophy Brazil, hand back your Rugby World Cup South Africa, and pick up your flonking stick - it’s time to learn about the sports that really matter.

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Oxford University is famed for the intelligence and innovation of its students. However, not all the undergraduates have devoted their talents to academia; instead they spent their time devising ingenious and hilarious pranks to play on their unsuspecting dons. This fascinating volume recalls some of the greatest stunts and practical jokes in the university’s history, including those by Oscar Wilde, Percy Shelly, Richard Burton and Roger Bacon. Ranging from the stunt that gave Folly Bridge its name and a nineteenth-century jape that resulted in the expulsion of all the students from University College, to the long-running rivalry between Town and Gown and the exploits of the infamous Bullington Club, this enthralling work will amaze and entertain in equal measure – and may well prove a source of inspiration for current students wishing to enliven their undergraduate days.

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Standing in an ID parade of incompetence, waiting to be picked out as Britain’s stupidest criminal, we’ve assembled a line-up of bungling burglars, asinine assailants and thick thieves. Dipping their stolen bucket of opportunity into the well of other people's stuff, only to fall into the well themselves (and get the bucket stuck on their head), this book chronicles the crimes against common sense committed by these dim-witted deviants. Also featured in this compendium of criminal idiocy are: the bank robber who used a No. 72 bus as his getaway vehicle (it was almost as though the police knew where he was headed to next); the bag snatcher who robbed an elderly lady of the bad she'd just used to clear up responsibly after her dogs; and the burglars who left their four-year-old son, and a wallet containing full ID, at the crime scene. Also rounded up for routine questioning are the bank robbers who gifted the police a dropped map marking the preferred route from bank to hideout, and armed robbers who raided a laundry van to steal used towels whilst their intended target, a wages van, drove slowly past. Charged with being in possession of an idiotic plan and sentenced to a life term of stupidity, they're reversing the getaway vehicle into a police car and handing over their belt to the custody sergeant with the inevitable consequence of their trousers falling down. As thick as thieves indeed. It's a case (admittedly, a rather easy one) for the police to dial M for Muppet. This is an ideal gift book that will make you laugh out loud.

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Discover Oxford's amazing stories, from Z for Zoo (yes, Oxford once had a zoo until three dangerous animals escaped) to A for Answers (there's a quiz question for every letter). Revel in true tales of Oxford's oddballs, pranksters, poets, murderers, explorers, scientists, actors, criminals and politicians (there may be some crossover here). Learn and laugh about Oxford's curious customs and peculiar protocols. Its eccentric academics and funny fellows. Its ancient university and even older town – and how they've often come to blows. Find answers to the following questions: who burned down half of Oxford cooking a pig? Which plant has killed more people than any other, according to Oxford boffins? Who went to sea as a pirate after graduating from Oxford? Which gruesome body part did Lord Nuffield keep pickled in a jar in his bedroom? Which college was put up for sale on eBay by rival students? Taking the reader on a journey through Oxford's colourful past, this book brings to life a city known around the world. With quirky illustrations and comic tales, it offers a reading adventure that's informative and fun.

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