Search results for ""Author Karen Alpert""

Do you ever feel like you’re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you. From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you. Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like: You Are Not Your Kiddo's Servant​ Picasso's Mom Didn't Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy If They Say "I Hate You," Then You're Probably Doing It Right Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you’re having coffee (and a little sumpin' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids* *not a guarantee

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Now that I'm a mom, I know the most painful part isn't getting something giant through your hooha. It's having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo's organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino's pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won't put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald's for a special treat but really it's because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert's honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you're smart and read it there.

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