Search results for ""Author Alan D. Wolfelt""

Partly a counseling model and partly an explanation of true empathy, this handbook explores the ways companionship eases grief. For caretakers who work with grieving people or for friends and family just hoping to stay close, 11 tenets are outlined for mourner-led care. These simple rules call for understanding another person's pain, listening with the heart rather than the head, not filling up every minute with words, respecting confusion and disorder, and relying on curiosity rather than expertise.

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Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the grief counselor in this guide for caregivers. His new model for "companioning" the bereaved gives a viable alternative to the limitations of the medical establishment, encouraging counselors and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy. This approach argues that grief need no longer be defined, diagnosed, and treated as an illness but rather should be an acknowledgement of an event that forever changes a person's worldview. Through careful listening and observation, the caregiver learns to support mourners and help them help themselves heal.

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With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, it explains how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that living their lives can begin again.

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Beloved grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt compassionately explores the common feelings of shock, anger, guilt, and sadness that accompany a stillborn child, offering suggestions for expressing feelings, remembering the child, and healing as a family. Ideas to help each unique person—mother, father, grandparent, sibling, friend—are included, as are thoughts from families who experienced a stillbirth. This new addition to Dr. Wolfelt’s popular series is a healing companion to families when they need it most.

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Recognizing that depression is a normal and natural component of grief, this compassionate guide helps mourners understand their depression, express it in healing ways, and know when they may be experiencing a more severe or clinical depression that would be eased by professional treatment. It proposes that grieving people do not necessarily need to be diagnosed with depression following the death of a loved one and guides them through exercises to express their depression in healthy ways. In a society where mourning and melancholia are often ignored, this book gives mourners the supported and reassurance necessary to understand and appreciate that their depression is a regular part of the grieving process.

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Written for those times in grief when the strength to do the hard and necessary work of mourning is waning, this book contains inspiring words about finding the courage deep within to embrace the pain and go on living. Presented in a one-reading-a-day-for-a-month format, it features compassionate writings by grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, as well as quotes on courage from some of the world's greatest thinkers. The Mourner's Book of Courage provides the needed boost to confront grief directly and allow the process of healing to continue.

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This concise resource for parents of grieving kids explores several key principles for helping children cope with grief and offers ways to create an emotional environment filled with love and acceptance. It answers common questions such as “What should I say to children when someone they love dies?” and “Should young children attend funerals?” This guide also identifies and explains typical behaviors, thoughts, and feelings of grieving kids and offers adults tips for responding to them.

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When we’re grieving the death of someone loved, we need the support and compassion of our fellow human beings. Grief support groups provide a wonderful opportunity for this very healing kind of support. This book is for professional or lay caregivers who want to start and lead an effective grief support group for adults. It explains how to get a group started and how to keep it running smoothly once it’s underway. The group leader’s roles and responsibilities are explored in detail, including communication skills, trust building, handling problems, and more. This Guide also includes twelve meeting plans that interface with the second editions of Understanding Your Grief and The Understanding Your Grief Journal. Each week group members read a chapter in the main text, complete a chapter in the journal, and come to group ready for you to guide them through an exploration of the content. Meeting plans include suggestions for how to open each session as well as engaging exercises and activities. A Certificate of Completion you can photocopy and give to group members in the final meeting is provided.

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Since its debut thirty years ago, this favorite by one of the world’s most beloved grief counselors has found a place in the homes and hearts of hundreds of thousands of mourners across the globe. Filled with compassion and hope, Understanding Your Grief helps you understand and befriend your painful, complex thoughts and feelings after the death of someone loved. Befriending grief may sound counterintuitive, but actually, your grief is your love for the person who died in a different form, and like that love, it’s also natural and necessary. Perhaps above all, Understanding Your Grief is practical. It’s built on Dr. Wolfelt’s Ten Touchstones, which are basic principles to learn and actions to take to help yourself engage with your grief and create momentum toward healing. This second edition maintains the content of the first edition but builds on it by adding concise wisdom on new topics such as the myth of closure, complicated and traumatic grief, grief overload, unmourned grief, loneliness, the power of ritual, and more. Excellent as an empathetic handbook for anyone in mourning as well as a text for support groups, Understanding Your Grief pairs with a guided journal.

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Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the grief counselor in this guide for caregivers to grieving children. Providing a viable alternative to the limitations of the medical establishment’s model for companioning the bereaved, Wolfelt encourages counselors and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy in which the child is the expert of his or her grief—not the counselor or caregiver. The approach outlined in the book argues against treating grief as an illness to be diagnosed and treated but rather for acknowledging it as an event that forever changes a child's worldview. By promoting careful listening and observation, this guide shows caregivers, family members, teachers, and others how to support grieving children and help them grow into healthy adults.

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Getting older goes hand in hand with losses of many kinds—ending careers, empty nests, illness, the deaths of loved ones—and this book by one of the world's most beloved grief experts helps one acknowledge and mourn the many losses of aging while also offering advice for living better in old age. The 100 practical tips and activities address the emotional, spiritual, cognitive, social, and physical needs of seniors who want to age authentically and gracefully, and each idea also includes a seize-the-day action to live fully and with joy in the present moment. For those who’ve just entered their 50s or are well on their way to the century mark, this book promises elder-friendly tips for comfort, laughter, and inspiration.

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Based on the author's previous guides to a 10-touchstone method of grief therapy, this book takes an inspirational approach to the material, presenting the idea of wilderness as a sustained metaphor for grief—and likening the death of a loved one to the experience of being wrenched from normal life and dropped down in the middle of nowhere. Feeling lost and afraid in this uncharted territory, people are initially overwhelmed, the book explains, but they begin to make their way through the new landscape by searching for trail markers—or touchstones—until they emerge as intrepid travelers climbing up out of despair. The touchstones for each step are described in short chapters such as "Embrace the Uniqueness of Your Loss," "Recognize You Are Not Crazy," and "Appreciate Your Transformation."

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Are you depressed? Anxious? Angry? Do you have trouble with trust and intimacy? Do you feel a lack of meaning and purpose in your life? You may be living in the shadow of the ghosts of grief. When you suffer a loss of any kind—whether through abuse, divorce, job loss, the death of someone loved or other transitions, you naturally grieve inside. To heal your grief, you must express it. That is, you must mourn your grief. If you don't, you will carry your grief into your future, and it will undermine your happiness for the rest of your life. This compassionate guide from one of North America's most beloved grief educators will help you learn to identify and mourn your carried grief so you can go on to live the joyful, whole life you deserve. Embrace your grief and step into the light.

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Helping widows and widowers to learn how to cope with the grief of losing their helpmate, their lover, and perhaps their financial provider, this guide shows them how to find continued meaning in life when doing so seems difficult. Bereaved spouses will find advice on when and how to dispose of their mate's belongings, dealing with their children, and redefining their role with friends and family. Suggestions are provided for elderly mourners, young widows and widowers, unmarried lovers, and same-sex partners. The information and comfort offered apply to individuals whose spouse died recently or long ago.

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Affirming a pet owner's struggle with grief when his or her pet dies, this book helps mourners understand why their feelings are so strong and helps them overcome the loss. Included are practical suggestions for mourning and ideas for remembering and memorializing one's pet. Among the issues covered are understanding the many emotions experienced after the death of a pet; understanding why grief for pets is unique; pet funerals and burial or cremation; celebrating and remembering the life of one's pet; coping with feelings about euthanasia; helping children understand the death of their pet; and things to keep in mind before getting another pet.

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After the death of someone close to you, you enter a time of deep grief. And if you use this time to actively, intentionally engage with your grief, you find helpful ways to express it. You do the work of mourning. You share it outside yourself—in doses and over time—so that you begin to integrate your loss into your ongoing life. In other words, you mourn well so that you can heal well—and live and love well again. Eventually you understand that while your grief is never “over,” it is reconciled. It is an integrated part of your life story. Your love is not “over,” either, of course. You feel it in the present just as much as you did in the past. So after your time of deep grief has passed, how do you continue to love and honor the special person who died even as you fully live your own remaining precious days here on earth? In response to this common challenge, this book by one of the world’s most beloved grief counselors proposes a way of being Dr. Wolfelt calls “cherishing.” To cherish means to protect and care for lovingly, and to hold dear. The mindset, suggestions, and practices in this resource will help you build cherishing into your daily routines.

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We don't only experience grief after a loss—we often experience it before. If someone we love is seriously ill, or if we're concerned about upcoming hardships of any kind, we naturally begin to grieve right now. This process of anticipatory grief is normal, but it can also be confusing and painful. Life is change, and change is hard. This book will help see you through.

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Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one’s capacity to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon, illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.

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Grief hurts. While it's natural to want to avoid pain, healing after a loss requires engaging with and expressing the pain. The only way to fully engage with our grief is to open ourselves to it. All our thoughts and feelings need acknowledgment. They need our time and attention. They also need expression. Sharing our grief outside of ourselves is called mourning, and ongoing mourning is what truly catalyzes our healing over time. Yet we are never more vulnerable than when we are sharing our deepest emotions. Vulnerability is scary. We're often afraid of the pain we'll feel when we're honest with ourselves. We also tend to be afraid of what others might think. But it turns out that vulnerability in grief is our ally. The more open and authentic we are, the more fully we can integrate our loss and go on to live and love well. If you've suffered a significant loss, this book by one of the world's most respected grief counselors will help you understand why and how to be vulnerable in grief. It will help you find the courage to mourn authentically, one small bit at a time. And it will help you embrace the paradoxical power of vulnerability in living a rich, full life.

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For anyone who has experienced the suicide of a loved one, coworker, neighbor, or acquaintance and is seeking information about coping with such a profound loss, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to their grief. Using the metaphor of the wilderness, the book introduces 10 touchstones to assist the survivor in this naturally complicated and particularly painful journey. The touchstones include opening to the presence of loss, embracing the uniqueness of grief, understanding the six needs of mourning, reaching out for help, and seeking reconciliation over resolution. Learning to identify and rely on each of these touchstones will bring about hope and healing. Including 12 meeting plans that interface with the main text and companion journal, this organizational guide deftly combines grief education with compassionate support for those who want to facilitate an effective suicide grief support group.

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Intended for leaders who want to facilitate an effective divorce group, this guide provides 12 meeting plans based on the book Transcending Divorce and its companion journal. Showing that feelings of grief and loss are to be expected during and after a divorce, these sessions are based on the idea that the best healing comes from the support and compassion of fellow human beings. Each week, group members are asked to read a portion of Transcending Divorce and write down their thoughts and feelings in the guided journal, providing a basis upon which the support group leader can effectively combine divorce grief education with compassionate support. Goals for the 12 weeks include dispelling misconceptions about divorce, exploring feelings of loss, reaching out for help, seeking integration rather than final answers, and enjoying the process of transformation.

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An aide for the challenging emotional process that follows a divorce, this companion journal to Transcending Divorce explores the 10 crucial touchstones for finding hope and healing the mourning heart, including dispelling misconceptions about divorce, seeking reconciliation, and appreciating the transformation. Highlights from the companion book are provided throughout as well as corresponding questions regarding the grief journey. Private and independent, this compassionate journal provides ample space to unburden the heart and soul.

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With empathy and wisdom, this resource provides 10 essential touchstones for hope and healing when enduring a divorce while simultaneously dispelling common misconceptions associated with divorce. Stressing the importance of the need to fully mourn the loss of a relationship before moving on, this compassionate guide—written with a warm, direct tone—will help divorcees reconcile and discover a happy, healthy life. An appendix with useful meeting plans for group sessions is also included.

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With compassionate insight, this handbook helps those in mourning through what can be the hardest time of year—the holiday season. Mourners will better understand their complex emotions after reading about such topics as honoring thoughts and feelings, creating new traditions, finding ways to de-stress, and incorporating healing rituals into the holiday season. This book's practical wisdom also covers issues such as decision-making during the holidays and coping with the blending of mourning and celebration. All of the answers and advice in this guide are provided in the popular 100 ideas format that features one idea per page, allowing readers to fully absorb each suggestion.

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Anger in grief is natural. It’s normal to feel anger and other explosive emotions such as hate, blame, terror, resentment, rage, and jealousy after the death of someone you love or another significant life loss. Yet it’s challenging to experience these feelings day after day. And it can be hard knowing what to do about them. Allowing them to seethe and build up inside you is not the answer. Neither is lashing out at people who care about you. This book will show you how to understand and express your anger and other explosive emotions in restorative ways. Learning to be with your anger and soothe it will not only help you on your healing journey in grief, it will also give you tools for living the remainder of your days with less suffering and more joy. If you are angry, let us begin.

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Presenting the idea of wilderness as a sustained metaphor for grief, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to the grief felt by those who have experienced the suicide of a loved one and offers information about coping with such a profound loss. Likening the death of a loved one to the experience of being wrenched from normal life and dropped down in the middle of nowhere, the handbook employs 10 touchstones, or trail markers, that survivors use to begin to make their way through the new landscape. Each touchstone gently guides readers through the entire grieving process and includes topics such as dispelling misconceptions regarding suicide, exploring feelings, and embracing the uniqueness of a loss.

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With a gentle and considerate style, this handbook explores what happens when grief and the workplace meet, and the drastic effects of grieving on employees, their performance, and the overall workplace environment. Touching on the different kinds of grief workers can experience, such as death, divorce, and layoffs, the effective ways to channel grief during the workday, how to support coworkers who mourn, participation in group memorials, and negotiating appropriate bereavement leave, this concise and practical resource gives both ideas for the mourner and the mourner's coworkers. A special introduction for employers, owners, managers, and human resource personnel addresses the economic impact of grief in the workplace and provides practical and cost effective ideas for maintaining morale and creating a productive yet compassionate work environment.

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A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers, volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not know what to say—or what not to say—to someone they know who is mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and do something helpful. This volume provides the fundamental principles of being a true companion, from committing to contact the friend regularly to being mindful of the anniversary of the death. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas for “carpe diem” actions that people can take right this minute—while still remaining supportive and honoring the mourner’s loss.

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With this compassionate book by respected grief counselor and educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, readers will find simplified and suitable methods for talking to children and teenagers about sensitive topics with an emphasis on the subject of death. Honest but child-appropriate language is advocated, and various wording and levels of explanation are suggested for different ages when discussing topics such as death in general, suicide, homicide, accidental death, the death of a child, terminal illness, pet death, funerals, and cremation. An ideal book for parents, caregivers, and counselors looking for an easy resource when talking to youths about death, this book can be used for any setting, religious or otherwise.

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Focusing on the natural grief children endure when their parents divorce, this guide helps kids process the common feelings of shock, sadness, anger, guilt, and relief while highlighting their most vital need—love and support. The handbook helps children name and understand these strange new emotions and affirms that their thoughts and feelings are natural while teaching them the value of constructively expressing them. An assortment of suggested physical and verbal activities for mourning grief are also included.

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This companion workbook to the second edition of Dr. Wolfelt’s bestseller Understanding Your Grief helps you explore the many facets of your grief through guided journaling. After you read a section in Understanding Your Grief, the journal asks you questions about what you’ve just read. It invites you to consider, clarify, and jot down your thoughts and feelings. A good grief journal is a safe place of solace—somewhere you can express yourself no matter what you are experiencing. If you’re grieving a death or a significant loss of any kind, this journal and its companion text will help you understand and embrace your grief, actively mourn, and move toward healing. You’ll find that the journal can also be used to help honor the person who died and/or work through any lingering relationship issues. As you express your emotions in this journal, you will feel them beginning to soften as well as become more integrated into your ongoing life. Write as much as or as little as you’d like. Even just a little engagement with this journal will help you befriend your grief and give you healing momentum.

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Addressing a significant loss in life, this guidebook enables those who have experienced a divorce to mourn sufficiently and begin to heal. Delving into the 10 essential touchstones of the healing process, this resource encourages the exploration of feelings of loss, identifying the specific needs of divorce transition, and understanding the divorced person's bill of rights. Compassionate and accessible, this outline will allow those in need to navigate through what can be overwhelming grief to a new beginning.

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Based on Dr. Wolfelt's unique and highly regarded philosophy of "companioning" versus treating mourners, this self-care guide for professional and lay grief caregivers emphasizes the importance of taking good care of oneself as a precursor to taking good care of others. Bereavement care is draining work, and remaining empathetic to the painful struggles of mourners, death, and dying, day in and day out, makes caregivers highly susceptible to burnout. This book demonstrates how caring for oneself first allows one to be a more effective caregiver to others. Through the advice, suggestions, and practices directed specifically to caregiving situations and needs, caregivers will learn not to lose sight of caring for themselves as they care for others.

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Frequently, people with developmental disabilities are excluded from bereavement ceremonies when a loved one or friend dies, therefore not receiving the special care needed for comprehending their own feelings of loss. Focusing on creating mourning rituals for special needs people, this guide offers specific rituals and techniques for caregivers to use while helping explain death and dying. With more than 20 examples such as the use of pictures and storytelling or drawing and music, these practical tools can substantially lend to the understanding of grief and sadness for intellectually and developmentally disabled adults and adolescents.

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This guide for counselors and lay caregivers explores the art of caring for the dying and their families. Based on the tenets first articulated by renowned grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, this respectful and gratifying guide to caregiving includes personal accounts that debunk the myth of the "good death" and teach caregivers to find the transformative potential of every moment in every experience. Written with wit and illustrated throughout with the author's poetry and artwork, it includes advice for comforting patients and their families as well as advice for dealing with the internal stress common to the profession. The guidance provided will help counselors feel affirmed in their abilities to "be with" the dying and support them and their families.

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After a significant loss, it’s common to feel like we’re going crazy. The sudden absence of someone we love is not only devastating, it’s disorienting. They were here one moment, and now they’re…gone? Forever? How can that be? The first year or two of grief is often unbelievably painful and confusing. We’re in shock, often for weeks or months. Time seems out of whack. We feel powerless, helpless, and ineffective. We can’t think straight; we can’t get anything done. Our moods swing wildly, and we say and do crazy things. We cry, and we cling to objects that belonged to the person who died. We have bizarre dreams. We think we hear, see, or experience communications from the person who died. We wonder if we can (or should) go on. And through it all, our minds and hearts return over and over again to the impossible reality that can never again talk to or touch a person who lived and breathed and gave our lives so much meaning. There is nothing more challenging than the early months and years of a major life loss. But this compassionate book, by one of the world’s most beloved grief counselors, will help you endure and thrive.

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Intended for nurses, doctors, midwives, social workers, chaplains, and hospital support staff, this guide gives caring and practical advice for helping families grieve properly after losing a child at birth. As the special needs of families experiencing perinatal loss are intense and require more than just the bereavement standards in most hospitals, this handbook offers tips and suggestions for opening up communication between caregivers and families, creating a compassionate bedside environment, and helping with mourning rituals. Encouraging continual grief support, these specific companioning strategies can help ease the pain of this most sensitive situation.

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