Search results for ""school of life""

Exploring ideas around minimalism, simplicity and how to live comfortably with less. The modern world can be a complicated, frenzied and noisy place, filled with too many options, products, ideas and opinions. That explains why what many of us long for is simplicity: a life that can be more pared down, peaceful and focused on the essentials. But finding simplicity is not always easy; it isn’t just a case of emptying out our closets or trimming back commitments in our diaries. True simplicity requires that we understand the roots of our distractions – and develop a canny respect for the stubborn reasons why things can grow complex and overwhelming. This book is a guide to the simpler lives we crave and deserve. It considers how we might achieve simplicity across a range of areas: our relationships, social lives, work routines and our approaches to possessions and media. Along the way, we learn about Zen Buddhism, modernist architecture, monasteries, psychoanalysis, and why we probably don’t need more than three good friends or a few treasured belongings. It isn’t enough that our lives should look simple; they need to be simple from the inside. This book takes a psychological approach, guiding us towards less contorted hearts and minds. It suggests that once we truly know who we are and what we want, we will be able to live with far less than we currently believe we need. We have for too long been drowning in excess and clutter from a confusion about our aspirations; A Simpler Life helps us tune out the static and focus on what properly matters to us.

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A guide to our anxious minds; offering a route to calm, self-compassion and mental well-being. Far more than we tend to realise, we’re all – in private – deeply anxious. There is so much that worries us across our days and nights: whether our hopes will come true, whether others will like us, whether the people we care about will be OK, whether we can escape humiliation and grief... Anxiety is deeply normal and, like so much else that troubles our minds, it can be understood and brought under our control. We all deserve to wake up every day without a sense of foreboding. This is a guide to anxiety: why we feel it, how we experience it when it strikes and what we can do when we come under its influence. Across a series of essays that look at the subject from a number of angles, the tone is helpful, compassionate and in the best sense practical. We have suffered for too long under the rule of anxiety. Here – at last – is a pathway to a calmer, more compassionate and more light-hearted future.

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An illustrated guide to emotions that helps children identify and articulate how they are really feeling. What Are You Feeling? is the first in a series of books that aims to develop emotional literacy for children aged 5-8 years. It is a book about finding interesting words for interesting feelings. It explores what lots of feeling words really mean and which words best describe the many feelings a child may have. The book discusses 20 different feelings from happy to mischievous. The child is encouraged to identify these feelings in ways that are healthy and easy to understand. Award-winning illustrator Daniel Gray-Barnett brings each feeling to life in his vivid, colourful and amusing illustrations.

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When we end up in a really good conversation with a friend, we sometimes pay them a slightly unusual but sincere compliment: we say that chatting to them feels like talking to a good therapist. What we tend to mean is that they’re giving us space to talk, they’re not interrupting us or pushing their own advice aggressively forward: they’re properly listening. This game cannot turn us into real therapists (that would take years of training). But like many good games (ones about flying or being a detective for example), it gives us a chance to try out, entertainingly but safely, one of the most interesting sides of a great profession. The Therapy Game offers us a rare opportunity to listen and speak to one another at truly fulfilling length and depth.

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Children are born philosophers – but in order to fully bring out the best of their thinking, it helps to equip them with the largest and most thought-expanding questions. This is a pack of the very sharpest, based on the biggest conundrums of philosophy, and is guaranteed to generate lively, warm and fascinating conversations among families and friends. No prior knowledge is required; all that counts is a spirit of curiosity. The pack includes questions like: Is it ever right to lie? When might freedom not be a good thing? What’s the difference between living and being alive? How does money make you happy – and when doesn’t it? With these questions to hand, conversation will forever be profound and entertaining, and minds young and old will have a crash course in the joys and adventures of philosophy.

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Not many teenagers want to talk to their parents that much. Their reasons are numerous and often sensible; yet for parents, the silence can feel painful and mysterious. What happened to their once chatty little ones? What might teenagers truly want to tell their parents, if only there was the right opportunity? And what might parents want to tell their children in turn, if it didn’t generate an immediate wince or boredom? This is a pack of cards that can break a log-jam of frustration and silence between generations with humour and curiosity. Containing 52 questions that are playful and interesting, yet carefully designed to pierce through armour, they offer parents and their teenage children a rare chance to go beyond the usual unsatisfying exchanges and rediscover one another, in an atmosphere of tolerance and fun, as the complicated, intense yet loveable and deserving beings they really are.

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In theory, we are all interested in being kind. In practice, a lot gets in the way: tiredness, anger, bitterness. But a lack of kindness lies at the heart of so much of what goes wrong at work, in friendships, and in love. These Kindness Prompt Cards are designed to bring out our better natures. They present us with a series of thoughts that nurture our sympathy, our powers of compassion, and our appetite for forgiveness. They return us to who we always want to be and deep down already are: kind people. Examples The kind person gives generously from a sense that they too will stand in need of kindness. Not right now, not over this, but in some other area. They know that self-righteousness is merely the result of a faulty memory: an inability to hold in mind, at moments when they are truly good and totally in the right, how often they have been deeply and definitively in the wrong. One fundamental path to remaining kind around people is the power to hold on, even in very challenging situations, to a distinction between what someone does, and what they meant to do. The modern world is very uncomfortable around the idea of a good person not succeeding. We would rather say that they weren’t good than embrace a far more disturbing and less well-publicised thought: that the world is very unfair. Kind people always keep the notion of injustice in mind.

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We are constantly at risk of losing perspective around the challenges we face. We mistake what is manageable for a catastrophe; we despair of ourselves too soon; we alienate others by over-reacting; we don’t notice and appreciate what there is still to be grateful for; we forget we’re going to die and that a lot of today’s headache will soon be forgotten. These cards provide eloquent invitations to recover a wiser, calmer, redemptive perspective on our lives. Each card identifies a fresh perspective we might take on problems – perspectives coloured by time, space, history, culture and travel among others – nudging us gently and compassionately towards a more liveable relationship with our difficulties.

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An essential guide to navigating the complexities of professional relationships. Our colleagues can be the sources of our greatest joys and triumphs: they compensate for our weaknesses, enlarge our strengths and aggregate our energies. However, working successfully around others is neither intuitive nor simple: it requires us to communicate effectively, to understand our own minds and blind spots, to master our emotions and to see the world through others’ perspectives. This book compresses our learning into a series of lessons on workplace psychology. The result is nothing less than an essential guide to more profitable, harmonious and happier organisations.

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Our societies are remarkably confident on the matter: affairs are terrible things and only fools, monsters and knaves would ever be involved in them. Those who are their victims deserve unending sympathy and access to a good lawyer. This stance may be clear, but it is not especially helpful or productive - given that, in reality, 1 in 4 of us are going to end up involved in an affair during our lifetime. This is a book written to increase our understanding of what is really at stake in affairs: it looks at why affairs happen and ventures beyond black and white caricatures. It delves into the question of what unfaithful sex means and why, despite the risks, it happens so often. Most importantly, the book seeks to help us through affairs, offering couples a better understanding of each other’s motivations and moods - and, where desirable, a way to save a relationship. We have for too long either openly condemned or secretly lusted after affairs: this, finally, is a chance to understand them.

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The dark truth is that it has become very hard to find anyone (and certainly anything) more interesting than one’s smartphone. This perplexing and troubling realisation has for most of us had huge consequences for our love stories, family lives, work, leisure time and health. This is why we have created Phone Detox, a palm-sized book filled with insights, ideas and meditations about the complex relationship we have with our phones. Phone Detox knows we love our phones and would never want us to give them up, but it is also gently aware that these delightful gadgets bear a hidden cost. This flip book is a tool that aims to bring a little sanity to our closest, most intense and possibly most danger-laden technological relationship. What people are saying about Phone Detox: “Must read. Very enlightening.” Robert “I got it as a birthday present for my husband; and it is currently doing rounds among our friends, as we all found its little snippets of psychologically philosophic wisdom inspiring and very useful.” Mila

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It can be hard to decide what we really want to achieve in our lives; our ambitions are often scattered, diverse and difficult to pin down. This is a tool for helping us focus on what we need to be fulfilled so that we can direct our energies and thoughts most effectively. It contains 160 cards detailing our most common ambitions and longings, along with instructions on how to reflect on our goals, arrange them in a logical order of priorities and, where necessary, weigh up trade-offs. Using the cards will help us to reveal our true purpose. The cards can be displayed, photographed or kept close to hand as a reminder of the path ahead. This is a simple-seeming but ingenious psychological tool for converting hunches and dreams into a realisable future.

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We are used to thinking of good conversation as the glue that holds friendships together, but we shouldn’t forget the immense value of playing games, with some of the same spirit of fun and adventure that we once deployed when we were children. Here is a pack of forty activities to draw us away from static conversation. Among other things, we will build a fort together, dance in surprising ways, deliver funeral orations, practise our acting skills, and play some entertaining (but kindly) pranks. The games are an invitation to cast aside reserve and get in touch with neglected imaginative aspects of ourselves. They are a reminder that friendship doesn’t only require talking; it thrives just as much on the lighthearted but significant business of playing together. Examples Inanimate Impressions Imitation, as Aristotle knew, is an activity humans find pleasurable and meaningful. This perhaps explains our delight in impressions. Ordinarily, we impersonate living creatures – friends, celebrities or animals. But this game takes a slightly different approach. Each guest should attempt to impersonate an inanimate object – a grandfather clock, or a dot-matrix printer, or a blender – using sounds and gestures. At the end, the group as a whole should elect a winner who has most uncannily captured the likeness of the object.

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Talking properly is the glue that keeps every relationship alive. By regularly checking in with one another, covering how we feel, what we’ve learnt, and how we see the world, we have a chance to build the satisfying, intimate and lively relationships we all deserve. However, in the busy conditions of modern life, it’s easy to fall behind on conversation. This box contains a set of the best talking points that any couple can use to broaden channels of communication and emotion. Accompanied by short explanatory essays that help to lend context and atmosphere, these talking points nudge us towards a mood of fruitful intimacy, understanding and affection. Designed to be used over dinner, for an evening or during a weekend away, this is the perfect tool with which to practise the art of closeness.

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The Compatibility Game is designed to help two people in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) assess their level of compatibility. It helps to a) identify areas of alignment and divergence in their values, ambitions, goals or beliefs and b) discuss the significance of these. Crucially, the game does not suggest that incompatibilities cannot be overcome: the basis of successful relationships is not compatibility but compromise. The box contains two sets of 80 cards (2 x 75 ‘statement’ cards plus 5 ‘blank’ cards) - each person has their own set Each card contains a statement of opinion or belief: ‘I’m a spiritual person’; ‘Extreme left wing views annoy me’; ‘I’m a morning person’, and so on. The cards are arranged into five themes — Values, Psychology, Habits, Leisure and Politics The ‘game’ involves two players choosing the cards that most closely accord with their own POV and comparing their choices with the other player to assess their levels of compatibility

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An honest and accessible guide to finding light in the darkest of times. In a world that isn’t short of darkness, there could be few more urgent priorities than to spend time rehearsing for ourselves why life – despite all its challenges – still has so much to offer us; why there are still so many reasons to be hopeful. The book is an eclectic collection of anecdotes and arguments, vibrantly illustrated with artworks and photography, that remind us why we should remain hopeful when all else fails. Across a series of short essays, we learn why we still have the right to feel purposeful and buoyant despite everything that is challenging: because there is still so much more to discover, because we can delight in summer days and the light of dawn, and because we don’t require perfection for things to feel good enough. In a tone that avoids the pitfalls of sentimentality and cynicism, the book urges us to reconnect with our more resilient selves, bidding us to recover faith in what is still possible. At points funny and always encouraging and kind, here is an ideal friend to guide us back to courage and delight.

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It’s impossible for a child to spend too long around adults without one of them coming up and asking, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, ‘What do you want to do when you grow up?’ They mean for this to be a relatively simple question; the idea is that you’ll quite easily be able to say something like, ‘A teacher’ or ‘A doctor’ and then the adult will move on – and bother someone else. But the truth can be a lot more complicated, and if you’ve ever felt confused or annoyed by the question, you have every right: knowing what you might want to do with your working life is one of the biggest, oddest and hardest questions of all. It might take many decades to find a good answer to it – and it’s one that most adults are still grappling with... This is a unique book about careers and the world of work written expressly for children. It takes us on a journey around some of the most essential questions within the topic: how can one discover one’s passions, what should a ‘good’ job involve, what is a good amount of money to try to make, how does the economy function – and acknowledges that the job you might do one day probably doesn’t even exist now. The result is a book that should spark some exceptionally fruitful conversations and help children look to their future work life with positivity and anticipation.

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In Ancient Greece, when the philosopher Socrates was asked to sum up what all philosophical commandments could be reduced to, he replied: ‘Know yourself’. Self-knowledge matters so much because it is only on the basis of an accurate sense of who we are that we can make reliable decisions – particularly around love and work. This book takes us on a journey into our deepest, most elusive selves and arms us with a set of tools to understand our characters properly. We come away with a newly clarified sense of who we are, what we need to watch out for when making decisions, and what our priorities and potential might be. Contents: Self-Ignorance Philosophical Meditation Emotional Identity Honesty and Denial Self-Judgement Emotional Scepticism

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The Great Thinkers is a collection of some of the most important ideas of Eastern and Western culture - drawn from the works of those philosophers, political theorists, sociologists, artists and novelists whom we believe have the most to offer to us today. We've worked hard to make the thinkers in this book clear, relevant and charming, mining the history of knowledge to bring you the ideas we think have the greatest importance to our times. This 480-page book contains the canon of The School of Life, the gallery of individuals across the millennia who help to frame our intellectual project - and we have succeeded if, in the days and years ahead, you find yourself turning to our thinkers to illuminate the multiple dilemmas, joys and griefs of daily life.

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Many of us find ourselves in the odd situation of not believing in religion – but nevertheless being interested in it, moved by it and sympathetic to some of its aims. We may enjoy religious art and architecture, music and community, and even some of the rituals – while being unable to believe in angels, divine commandments or stories about the afterlife. This book is about those feelings and what we might do about them. The School of Life is a secular organisation fascinated by the gaps left in modern society by the gradual disappearance of religion. We’re interested in how hard it is to find a sense of community, how rituals are dying out and how much we sometimes crave the solemn quiet you find in religious buildings. This book lays out how we might absorb the best lessons of religion, update them for our times and incorporate them into our daily lives and societies – without taking on the supernatural or doctrinaire elements. This book tries to rescue some of what remains wise and useful from all that no longer seems (to many of us) to be quite true.

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An original and comprehensive look at what it is we seek when we set off on an adventure abroad - and at how we can travel better, so that our experiences overseas become truly transformative and memorable. Going travelling is one of the few things we undertake in a direct attempt to make ourselves happy - and frequently, in fascinating ways, we fail. We get bored, cross, anxious or lonely. It isn't surprising: our societies act as if going travelling were simple, just a case of handing over the right sum of money. But a satisfying journey isn't something we can simply buy: it's the result of an art that has to be learnt. This is the guide: not to any one destination but to travel in general. It talks to us, among other things, about how we should choose a place to go, what we might do when we get there, how we should make good moments stick in our minds and why hotel rooms can be such liberating places... In a succession of genial essays, we become students of an unexpected but vital topic: how to understand and more fully enjoy (what should be) some of the finest experiences of our lives. What people are saying about How to Travel: "How to Travel helped me narrow down where I want to travel to, why I want to travel there, and who I want to travel with. The blank pages included gave me room to respond to the questions posed in the essays, which made the reading experience that much more enjoyable. I highly recommend this book to anyone who dreams of experiencing a culture or world outside of their own but can't decide on a place." Larysa "A lovely collection of thought provoking short essays with note pages for jotting down things like 'useful foreign phrases' or to 'give drawing a go'. This book is very well presented with interesting quotes, images and photographs on different coloured pages on quality paper. It therefore has a nice feel and is really easy to read, no complex theories here. However, each piece on different aspects of travel is written well and makes you think which has real value...So enjoyable, and a perfect gift for someone preparing to travel." Sue "In classic School of Life form, the content is compellingly presented in an uncommon way, playful while authoritative." Rick "Has little pockets and fill in spaces that are so useful." Joana

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When trying to deal with our current troubles and anxieties, it can be deeply irritating to be asked to consider our childhoods. They happened so long ago; we can probably barely remember, let alone relate to, the little person we once were. But one of the most powerful explanations for why we may, as adults, be struggling, is that we were denied the opportunity to fully be ourselves in our earliest years. Perhaps we were over-disciplined and cowed, not allowed to be wilful or difficult – and so learnt to tell white lies and people-please. Or perhaps our caregivers were preoccupied or fragile and so we had to assume the role of parent, burying our true needs and desires deep underground. When we thoroughly examine our upbringings, the larger implications for our adult selves are clear to see. Once we understand the roots from which our flaws stem, we can set about correcting the harmful behaviours we mistakenly believe to be innate. This book is a guide to better understanding our younger selves in order to shape who we wish to be in the future. It explores to what extent we can pin our actions in the present to our experiences in the past, and how we might then break free from the learnt patterns of our childhoods.

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A soothing gallery of artworks and photography to guide us on a journeytowards calm.

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We’re hugely dependent on language to express how we really feel, and yet words often feel curiously vague or frustratingly inaccurate. There are lots of moods, needs and feelings that our own language has not yet properly pinned down. The perfect word - even if it comes from abroad - helps us explain ourselves to other people, and its existence quietly reassures us (and everyone else) that a state of mind is not really rare, just rarely spoken of. This set of cards define some of our favourite words from the world’s languages and married them up with complementary images to create cards that bring some of our most important feelings into focus. We’ve created them to prompt greater reflection about the nature of language and the emotions. Example Cards: DUENDE (Spanish): A heightened sense of emotion created by a moving piece of art. FORELSKET (Norwegian): The euphoric feeling at the beginning of love. We can’t believe someone so perfect has wandered into our lives. They enhance and complete us. We might report: ‘I was overpowered by forelsket as our fingers interlaced…’

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Typically, we stumble on fascinating conversation topics a little bit by chance. Shyness can hold us back. Too often, we revert to polite, but not especially inspired, staples. Arranged to accompany each course, these twenty beautifully designed Conversation Menus lead us artfully to some of the most fascinating and revealing conversation topics. They invite us to open up about themes such as love, money, travel ambition, self-knowledge and the meaning of life. They contain questions and invitations to discussion that will raise smiles, build friendships and foster the best kind of intimacy, ensuring that our meals together can be everything we hoped. Questions Include: What do you blame your parents for? What do you wish your partner could forgive you for? Have you ever sabotaged your own success? Who did you have a rush on during your school years? Describe your first memorable encounter with another culture. What should children learn about the adult world? In what ways is your family especially odd? Who have you had to eject from your social life – and why? How would you like to be remembered? What shaped your attitudes to money?

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An inspiring curated selection of 40 photographs and artworks with accompanying essays examining the skill of confidence. The difference between success and failure often comes down to an ingredient that we are seldom directly taught about and may forget to focus on: confidence. Here is a supreme guide to a fatefully neglected quality – made up of a series of short essays that encourage us into a new and more fruitful state of mind. We hear why we should dare to try, why the past doesn’t have to dictate the future, why we can alter the way we speak to ourselves and why there are so many reasons to keep faith with our most ambitious aspirations. The images that accompany each essay are there to ensure that we aren’t merely intellectually stirred to change our lives but are also given the best kind of visual assistance. Within its modest size, this book succeeds at a mighty feat: unlocking our latent powers and edging us on with kindness and creativity to become the best version of ourselves.

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Our societies frequently proclaim their enormous esteem for culture. Music, film, literature and the visual arts enjoy high prestige and are viewed by many as getting close to the meaning of life. But what is culture really for? This book proposes that works of culture were all made, in one way or another, with the idea of improving the way we live. The book connects a range of cultural masterpieces with our own pains and dilemmas around love, work and society, and invites us to see culture as a resource with which to address the complex agonies of being human. It provides us with enduring keys to unlocking culture as a way of transforming our lives.

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An average couple will have between thirty and fifty significant arguments a year - and yet we’re seldom taught very much about why they happen and how they could grow a little less intense. This is a guide to arguments in love: it teaches us why they might occur, what their symptoms are, how we could learn some wiser ways of communicating and how we would ideally patch up after a fight. The book looks at twenty of the most common arguments - including ones about sex, money, in-laws, who is ‘cold’ and who is ‘over-emotional’ and the state of the bathroom and the finances. We recognise our own antics but also pick up consoling and wise ideas on how to skirt certain conflicts going forward. The tragedy of every sorry argument is that it is constructed around a horrific mismatch between the message we so badly want to send (‘I need you to love me, know me, agree with me’) and the manner in which we are able to deliver it (with impatient accusations, sulks, put-downs, sarcasm, exaggerated gesticulations and forceful ‘f *** yous’). A bad argument is a failed endeavour to communicate; this is a definitive guide to how we might argue better. ‘The priority is not so much to avoid points of contention as to learn to handle them in less counterproductively vindictive and more gently strategic ways. We need a lot help in order in order to acquire the complex art of converting our poisonous arguments into effective and compassionate dialogues.’

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We have so many vague feelings of hurt, envy, anxiety, and regret, but for the most part we never stop to make sense of them. It’s too un-comfortable and especially difficult because we are so often busy and frazzled, hyper-connected yet a bit lonely. To really understand what we feel and think, we must turn away from distractions, common sense, and other people’s opinions. We need to develop intimacy with ourselves. Our un-thought thoughts contain clues as to our needs and our longer-term direction. Writing them out is key. Through writing, we recognise patterns to observe and, perhaps, outgrow. We can strategise – a remarkably neglected task. We can ask ourselves why we make the choices we do. We can question faulty narratives and create new ones. We can consider ideas before we commit to them, and reinforce good ideas we already know. Writing is ultimately the task of discovering and developing what we think. There could hardly be a more important personal goal.

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We have so many vague feelings of hurt, envy, anxiety, and regret, but for the most part we never stop to make sense of them. It’s too un-comfortable and especially difficult because we are so often busy and frazzled, hyper-connected yet a bit lonely. To really understand what we feel and think, we must turn away from distractions, common sense, and other people’s opinions. We need to develop intimacy with ourselves. Our un-thought thoughts contain clues as to our needs and our longer-term direction. Writing them out is key. Through writing, we recognise patterns to observe and, perhaps, outgrow. We can strategise – a remarkably neglected task. We can ask ourselves why we make the choices we do. We can question faulty narratives and create new ones. We can consider ideas before we commit to them, and reinforce good ideas we already know. Writing is ultimately the task of discovering and developing what we think. There could hardly be a more important personal goal.

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We have so many vague feelings of hurt, envy, anxiety, and regret, but for the most part we never stop to make sense of them. It’s too un-comfortable and especially difficult because we are so often busy and frazzled, hyper-connected yet a bit lonely. To really understand what we feel and think, we must turn away from distractions, common sense, and other people’s opinions. We need to develop intimacy with ourselves. Our un-thought thoughts contain clues as to our needs and our longer-term direction. Writing them out is key. Through writing, we recognise patterns to observe and, perhaps, outgrow. We can strategise – a remarkably neglected task. We can ask ourselves why we make the choices we do. We can question faulty narratives and create new ones. We can consider ideas before we commit to them, and reinforce good ideas we already know. Writing is ultimately the task of discovering and developing what we think. There could hardly be a more important personal goal.

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Going travelling can be one of life’s greatest activities – but often, we fail to deepen the experience as much as we should and return home with some of the promise of our trip unrealised. Here is a pack of cards designed to help us get the very best out of travel – and to embed its greatest lessons in our minds. The cards contain questions that we can reflect on ourselves (in a journal or on a train ride) or ask others in a group – and that lead us to think deeply about how we might derive maximal satisfaction from a trip. This is an ingenious, low-tech, high-impact solution to one of the great conundrums of travel: how to ensure that the reality of going away will match our hopes.

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From adolescence onwards, one of the great struggles we face is how to reconcile our own desires with those we find socially acceptable. The best encounters with friends are those where we can talk honestly about what’s going on in our lives, sharing triumphs, joys, fears and longings - without the usual shyness or reserve. This game guarantees that the warmest, most fascinating conversations won’t have to be left to chance. With the help of a dice and some cards, the game asks participants to answer a series of questions around career, sex, money, relationships, family, gently inviting everyone to share important bits of themselves in an intimate and playful atmosphere. By thinking of confessions as a game – as a sociable and exploratory activity, as opposed to a risky affair – the cards prompt us to open ourselves up to interesting and exhilarating conversations, allow us to be a little more honest around the most intimate aspects of ourselves. Example Questions: What did you call your partner in your most heated argument? In your most depressed moods, what do you tell yourself about your career? What are you ashamed of people knowing about you and money? Describe in some detail the first time you had sex. What do you hate most about your children?

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An exploration of children's literature - from J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan to Young Dark Emu by Bruce Pascoe - and the lessons these stories teach about the world around them.

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It isn’t easy to get into a good conversation. Many of our best ones seem to have happened by chance. Far from it - we believe a great conversation always starts with someone asking a great question. In this set of beautiful cards, you’ll find laid out 100 of the very best questions around, carefully designed to get a group of people into exceptionally entertaining and meaningful conversations. Example Questions: What’s the best evening you ever had? Are you where you wanted to be at this stage in your life? What do you and your partner argue about most? What are the best things you owe your parents? Would you be happy to tell your friends how much you earn? Have you ever had a religious experience?

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A guide to emotional healing and living a more self-accepting life by learning to love oneself. Behind many of our problems lies an often ignored factor: we don’t like ourselves very much. We are sufferers of self-hatred. We tell ourselves the meanest things. It’s because of self-hatred that we tend to neglect our potential at work and get entangled in unfulfilling relationships, that we lack confidence in our social lives and suffer from anxiety and despair. This is a book that, with immense compassion and fellow feeling, investigates the phenomenon of self-hatred while giving pragmatic advice on how to overcome it. It asks where the feeling comes from, what it makes us do and how we might become kinder and more compassionate towards ourselves. We have probably spent far too much of our lives disliking ourselves and attacking everything we say, do or feel, while not even realising what we’re up to. It’s time to overcome our masochism and move towards a more self-forgiving and accepting stance. On Self-Hatred is a guide to the more compassionate and gentle relationship we should have had with ourselves from the start, and can all achieve now.

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Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don’t love them anymore; that we do love them (though we’re not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they’re fired; that we’re furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud... Often, out of embarrassment, we just stay quiet. Occasionally we explode. And typically, we stumble about, looking for the right words – dreading that we didn’t find them and thereby causing more hurt than we should. This is a book to help us locate the best possible words to get across a range of life’s most difficult messages. With twenty case studies drawn from relationships, friendships, work, our families and service situations, we are gently shown what we might – in an ideal world – find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm. We are guided, among other topics, to how best to end a relationship, how to make it up with a child and how gently to let down a friend who wants more. We laugh, we recognise our troubles – and we’re introduced to a range of deeply empathetic ways to navigate some of our most acute social dilemmas.

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This is a book that celebrates the most neglected but valuable emotion we can feel: melancholy. Melancholy isn’t depression or anger or bitterness, it’s a serene, accepting, gentle, wise and kindly response to the difficulties and occasional misery of being alive. It steers an ideal mid-way course between despair on the one hand and naïve optimism on the other. But melancholy is a well-kept secret. Those who feel the pull of melancholy moods tend to stay quiet about their tastes. We don’t often hear melancholy being celebrated or accorded the respect that it deserves. Melancholy languishes unexplored in a hyper-competitive, noisy, frantic age. And yet the emotion heartily deserves exploration, it is one that leads to reflection and thoughtfulness. This book carefully collects and interprets a selection of the most universally recognisable melancholy states of mind, and thereby renders us less confused by our precious yet elusive feelings. We hear, among other things, about the melancholy of Sunday evenings and the melancholy of adolescence, the melancholy of high summer and the melancholy of crushes. This book offers a varied portrait of melancholy and it’s range of emotions, leading the reader to both insight and self compassion.

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Raising a child to be an authentic and mentally robust adult is one of life’s great challenges. It is also, fortunately, not a matter of luck. There are many things to understand about how children’s minds operate and what they need from those who look after them so they can develop into the best version of themselves. The Good Enough Parent is a compendium of lessons, including ideas on how to say ‘no’ to a child one adores, how to look beneath the surface of ‘bad’ behaviour to work out what might really be going on, how to encourage a child to be genuinely kind, how to encourage open self expression, and how to handle the moods and gloom of adolescence. Importantly, this is a book that knows that perfection is not required – and could indeed be unhelpful, because a key job of any parent is to induct a child gently into the imperfect nature of everything. Written in a tone that is encouraging, wry and soaked in years of experience, The Good Enough Parent is an intelligent guide to raising a child who will one day look back on their childhood with just the right mixture of gratitude, humour and love.

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Work can be a route to creativity, excitement and purpose. Nevertheless, many of us end up confused, discouraged and beaten by our working lives. The temptation is often just to blame ourselves, and to feel privately ashamed and guilty. However, as this book lucidly explains, there is a range of well-embedded and intriguing reasons why work proves demoralising, including the evolution of modern work, the role of technology and the mechanics of the economy. This surprisingly cheering book offers us an invigorating perspective over our working lives – and what we might do at times when our work challenges us almost unbearably. Chapters include: Specialisation Standardisation Commercialisation Competition Collaboration Equal Opportunity Meritocracy

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Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make. The cost of repeated failure is immense. And yet we are often so alone with the search. Partners used to be found for us by parents and society. Now we are expected to follow our feelings - and so locate people by ourselves, according to intuition. This should be an improvement, but our emotions often pull us towards hugely problematic characters and dynamics. How to Find Love explains why we have the ‘types’ we do - and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we can love. The book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.

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An essential guide to help children become more aware of their emotional needs. This book examines a range of everyday topics that might give children’s minds difficulties, for example: when parents don’t seem to understand us; when we fall out with friends; when school feels boring or difficult; when we’re too busy and get overwhelmed; when our phones create trouble; when we feel sad, bored, anxious or fed up with things. As an atlas to a child’s mind, we explore a range of common scenarios encountered by young children and talk about some of the very best ideas to help deal with them. By offering a sympathetic and supportive framework, we encourage children to open up, explore their own feelings and face the dilemmas of growing up armed with emotional intelligence.

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There is no simple set of instructions that can guarantee sanity, but if you want to overcome emotional difficulties and become happier, psychotherapist Philippa Perry, author of The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read and The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read, argues that there are four cornerstones to sanity you can influence to bring about change. By developing your self-observation skills, examining how you relate to others, breaking out of your comfort zone and exploring new ways of defining yourself, Philippa demonstrates that it is possible to become a little less tortured and a little more fulfilled. How to Stay Sane is at once a brilliant explanation of our minds and a profoundly useful guide to facing up to the many challenges life throws our way.The School of Life looks at new ways of thinking about life’s biggest questions. Discover more fascinating books from the series with How to Be Alone and How to Think More About Sex.

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Happiness is a loaded term that means different things to different people. To some, it might mean life satisfaction, to others, a fleeting moment of joy. Rather than seeking to be happy, Oliver James encourages us to cultivate our emotional health. Outlining the five elements of good emotional health - insightfulness, a strong sense of self, fluid relationships, authenticity and playfulness in our approach to life - he offers strategies for optimizing each characteristic to live more fulfilling lives. Helping us to understand the impact our emotional baggage has on our daily interactions, he reveals how to overcome unhelpful patterns and become more self-aware - revitalizing our approach to life. One in the new series of books from The School of Life, launched January 2014: How to Age by Anne Karpf How to Develop Emotional Health by Oliver James How to Be Alone by Sara Maitland How to Deal with Adversity by Christopher Hamilton How to Think About Exercise by Damon Young How to Connect with Nature by Tristan Gooley

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By indulging in the experience of being alone, we can be inspired to find our own rewards and ultimately lead richer, fuller lives.Our fast-paced society does not approve of solitude; being alone is so often considered anti-social and some even find it sinister. Why is this so when autonomy, personal freedom and individualism are more highly prized than ever before? Sara Maitland answers this question in How to Be Alone by exploring changing attitudes throughout history. Offering experiments and strategies for overturning our fear of solitude, she helps us to practise it without anxiety and encourages us to see the benefits of spending time by ourselves.The School of Life looks at new ways of thinking about life’s biggest questions. Discover more fascinating books from the series with How to Stay Sane and How to Think More About Sex.

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The desire for fulfilling work is one of the great aspirations of our age and this inspirational book reveals how one might make it a reality. It explores the competing claims we face for money and status while doing something meaningful and in tune with our talents. Drawing on wisdom about work that is to be found in sociology, psychology, history and philosophy, Roman Krznaric sets out a practical and innovative guide to negotiating the labyrinth of choices, overcoming the fear of change, and finding a career that makes you thrive. One in the new series of books from The School of Life, launched May 2012: How to Stay Sane by Philippa Perry How to Find Fulfilling Work by Roman Krznaric How to Worry Less About Money by John Armstrong How to Change the World by John-Paul Flintoff How to Thrive in the Digital Age by Tom Chatfield How to Think More About Sex by Alain de Botton

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