Search results for ""Author Pam Ayres""

Pam Ayres has been a regular on television and radio since winning the talent show Opportunity Knocks in 1975 - on Just a Minute, The Comedy Quiz, Countdown and her own series, Ayres on the Air. She has authored many volumes of beloved and humours poems, which include 'Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth' voted into the top ten of a BBC poll to find the Nation's 100 Favourite Comic Poems. She performs her solo stage show throughout Britain and around the world and has a huge fan base in the UK, Australia and New Zealand. Pam is one of Britain's best-loved personalities and was awarded the MBE in 2004.

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The Works contains 120 of Pam Ayres' best-known poems, including 'The Battery Hen', 'Please Will You Take Your Children Home Before I Do Them In?', 'Sling Another Chair Leg on the Fire, Mother' and, of course, 'Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth'.This edition includes a general introduction by Pam, as well as individual introductions to these classic poems of the seventies and eighties, many of which are now illustrated with specially commissioned line drawings by Susan Hellard. The Works is certain to delight Pam's fans of all ages.

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Warm and witty, direct and droll, the sharply funny Pam Ayres has been amusing and entertaining her many fans for more than 30 years since her first television appearance on Opportunity Knocks. Her humorous observations of daily life touch a chord with anybody who's ever been bewildered by the exercise craze or has yearned after the vanished Spotted Dick. In this collection, Pam reads over 50 of her best-known and loved poems, including such favourites as 'Oh I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth', 'I'm a Starling...me Darling', 'Will I have to be Sexy at Sixty?', and 'St. Tesco'. Many of the poems include a personal introduction by Pam.2 CDs. 2 hrs 5 mins.

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With over fifty new poems from Britain’s favourite poet, You Made Me Late Again! is an essential addition to Pam Ayres’ incomparable collection of works.Pam’s poems are observant, witty and poignant in equal measure. In ‘The Swifts’ and ‘The Pyracantha Anthem’ she marvels at nature, while ‘A Patient’s Prayer’ and ‘Litter Moron’ offer wry views on Modern Britain. From the dog being afraid of the toaster to your son leaving home for university; and from the search for that perfect swimsuit to becoming a gran for the first time – Pam’s poems are beautifully crafted, and her subjects the everyday and the universal.Delightfully illustrated, most of the poems in You Made Me Late Again! are brand new, yet it also features several firm favourites from her stage shows, published for the first time, such as ‘The Make-up Lady’ and ‘Tippy Tappy Feet’.

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This new gift edition is a must-have for Pam's many fans - and for anyone who enjoys beautifully crafted stories and poems to make you laugh and make you think.Pam Ayres is one of our most widely-adored poets throughout the world and is nothing less than a national treasure. Her work is popular with fans of all ages, and her wry observations on the peculiarities of modern life will raise a smile from even the most hardened cynic.

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'Next, I applied to work in the accounts department, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: "Lacks the necessary aptitude."'Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively.In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics... Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

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Pam Ayres has been a writer, broadcaster, and entertainer for over forty years. She is the author of several bestselling poetry books, including The Works, Surgically Enhanced, You Made Me Late Again!, and The Last Hedgehog. Pam's autobiography, The Necessary Aptitude, was a bestseller. Her book Pam Ayres on Animals, published last year, was the UK's Best Selling Poetry book of 2021. On radio she is a regular on Just A Minute, has made six series of her own Ayres On The Air, and has appeared twice on the legendary Desert Island Discs. Pam performs her solo stage show throughout the UK, and lives in the Cotswolds, where she is an enthusiastic gardener for wildlife.Nicola O'Byrne was born in Swaziland, grew up in Singapore and has lived in Papua New Guinea, Kenya, Edinburgh, London and Cambridge. When Nicola was five years old her parents banned Saturday morning television, and she has been drawing ever since. Nicola has

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'Pam Ayres is absolutely essential to British humour' Mail on Sunday 'A national treasure' Daily Express Delighting her fans for more than four decades with her mischievous wit and wry observations, this is a classic collection of poems and monologues from Pam Ayres, which takes us back to where it all began. From the nostalgia of her 1950's childhood, conjuring up images of hand-knitted swimming costumes and suet puddings, through Pam's four years in the WRAF where she discovered the joy of performing, to poignant reflections on motherhood and watching her children grow up. With These Hands provides a profound and hilarious insight into the joys and tribulations of daily life, as recorded by the nation's favourite poet.

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'Maybe the polluters will purify our streams. Purify our waterways? In your bloomin' dreams! All will be rewilded, all will be renewed, The country will look lovely, But we won't have any food. Our stocks will be sustainable, The French will be our friends, We shall live in harmony, until the bitter end.'Hidden beyond the bluebell woods and babbling brooks, there is great unrest in our countryside. In this lyrical satire, Pam Ayres highlights the undercurrents simmering beyond the patchwork of fields. We meet the angry fishermen who can't afford to live in their own villages, the indignant farmers who get the blame for everything and the old man grieving for the unspoilt village of his youth. The animals have their say too, from the persecuted grey squirrel who didn't want to leave America anyway, the barn owl mourning his now-converted ancient barn, and the humble maligned mole, all of whom come together and demand to know: Who Are You Calling Vermin?

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A heart-warming, rhyming story about a little otter called Oliver, written by bestselling poet Pam Ayres, author of The Last Hedgehog.Come on down to the riverbank, and discover a wild and wonderful world . . . Oliver the otter is happy enough living alone, swimming or scampering along the twisty-rooted waterways. Until one day, among the green rushes, he meets an otter called Ottilie – and his life changes forever.Written in rhyme and beautifully illustrated by award-winning artist Nicola O'Byrne, Pam Ayres's charming tale brings the natural world to enchanting life. With nature details interwoven throughout the story, and an information page at the end, including fun facts about otters.Complete with a foiled jacket, I am Oliver the Otter is the perfect gift for nature lovers of all ages.

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A beautiful collection from much-loved poet Pam Ayres, compiling her best verse dedicated to animals, illustrated by Ellie Snowdon. Now a Sunday Times bestseller. 'Oh WHY must you bark at the postman? Why must you batter my ears? I know it seems rum But the postman has come Every morning for SEVENTEEN YEARS.' From her very first encounter with a friendly golden Labrador at just three years old, Pam Ayres has been enchanted by animals. Now, for the first time, in this beautiful new illustrated work, she has gathered together her life's work of poems, new and old, dedicated to her love of them. This definitive collection brings to life the charming characters and voices of all creatures great and small through Pam's poetry over the last five decades. From delightful tales of our British wildlife in 'I'm a Starling Me Darling' and the difficulties of keeping farm animals in 'Fleeced', to her hilarious observations of our pets in 'Ode to a Jack Russell' and poignant reflections on the end of their lives in 'Tippy Tappy Feet', Pam Ayres on Animals is a celebration of animals everywhere.

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