Description
Book SynopsisA companion for anyone experiencing the effects of trauma, featuring true stories of survivors from a broad, inclusive range of backgroundsWith Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships is a companion for anyone experiencing the effects of trauma. Through true survivor stories, expert insight, writing prompts, and grounding exercises, it explores pleasure, relationships, and community as worthy and essential antidotes in trying times.
Written by trauma-informed sex therapist Jamila Dawson, LMFT, and sexuality journalist and podcaster August McLaughlin,
With Pleasure provides a much-needed alternative to harmful “self-help” ideologies that instruct people to “change their thoughts” or “choose to be happy.”
Instead, Dawson and McLaughlin encourage readers to respect their feelings, understand the complexities of a society and systems that fuel trauma, foster self-compassion, and embrace pleasure. Trade Review"For too long, trauma work has been analytical in focusing on body neutrality and decreasing trauma responses. Through With Pleasure , the authors offer us morea healing path that leads to pleasure and reclaiming our bodies. For everyone who has experienced trauma, thought they were alone, or did not know where to start, this book is a beautiful, powerful, and gentle guide back to yourself." Dalychia & Rafaella, Creators of Afrosexology
"At long last, the book that so many of us have been waiting for! Dawson and McLaughlin's text is a necessary addition to our understanding about the relationship between sexuality and trauma. With Pleasure combines needed information about the biological, psychological, and social context of interpersonal and intrapersonal trauma from a lens of sex-positivity, social justice, and liberation. This text is accessible for a wide audience, including helping professionals, helping its reader focus on needed healing using systemic change and self-connection as core principles. A must-have for the clinician's library." Dr. Theodore Burnes, PhD, author of Teaching LGBT Psychology
"Jamila and August have collaborated to create a book experience that is guided by the ideas of collective justice in service to our healing needs. By centering and being guided by a principle of pleasure, they offer us a new way forward that is a disability justice dream: transcending trauma, reminders we are not broken, that we are whole as we show up in this world at any given time, and that we are worthy of care, love, and radical acceptance. With Pleasure offers a variety of ways to engage in a healing practice through archiving our process, writing, documenting, and identifying our ways through a pleasure-centric focus. An important book for seasoned and emergent healers and therapists alike, With Pleasure is paving the way for the future of healing justice." Bianca I. Laureano, PhD, MA, CSE, CSES award-winning sexologist and sexuality educator, co-foundress of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network and founder of ANTE UP! Professional Development
Praise for August McLaughlin's Girl Boner "Terrifically encouraging . . . McLaughlin has written a thorough primer on everything from sex toys to bondage to 'no means no,' intended for young women readers who might be new to the idea that they deserve, and own, their personal pleasure." New York Times "McLaughlin carefully homes in on the myriad ways that mental and physical health connect with sexuality in this uplifting and refreshingly inclusive guide . . . Equally fun, risqué, and informative, this is a welcome addition to sexual health literature." Publisher's Weekly "In Girl Boner: The Good Girl's Guide to Sexual Empowerment , August McLaughlin touches on topics that sex ed classes skip. Her aim is to give all of those who identify as women the tools necessary to figure out how to own their sexuality. You're bound to find it inspiring and, er, stimulating." Bustle
"August and Jamila have created a much-needed opportunity to talk about healing and trauma with wisdom, relatability, and compassion. This book reads less like self-help and more like a circle of peers learning and growing together. If you're on a journey of self-reclamation, With Pleasure is a loving step." Shadeen Francis, LMFT
Table of ContentsForeword
About this Book
1 “Why is this happening to me?”
August: In Her Own Words
Jamila: Why Sex Therapy?
2 “What is happening to me?”
Desiree: Trust, Disability, and BDSM
KM: Finding Zen
3 “How can I stop this?”
Anne: Reclaiming Self-Worth
Wolf: Chosen Family, Consent, and Cis Male Survivors
4 “I need help.”
Gloria: Different (Not Broken) and Sex-Positive Therapy
Nadia: Day Programs, Group Therapy, and Settling Into Love
Ginny and Jean: Grief, Communication, and Safer Self-Help
5 “I am such a problem.”
RenÉ: ADHD and Self-Understanding
Robert and Hannah: Building Trust, Intimacy, and Communication
6 “Healing is taking too long.”
Natalie: Awareness, Reframing, and Orgasmic Meditation
Beth: Intergenerational Trauma and Ancestral Strength
7 “They don’t understand.”
Taylor: Life-Saving Psychiatry and Developing Her True Self
EL: Embracing Desires and Sexuality Integration
8 “How can I get my life back?”
Kimleigh: You are Your Own Superhero
Arden: Awareness, Magic, and Sexual Narratives
Jazz: No Longer Conforming and Ancestral and Animist Practices
9 “Should I forgive? If so, how?”
Cheryl: Owning her Story, Forgiveness as Freedom
Andrea: Pleasure to Behold, Forgiveness as Optional
10 “Dang. I thought I was healed.”
Winnie: “Baby Steps” Back to Pleasure
Brian: Permission to Struggle and Grow
Suggested Exercises and Illustrations
Afterword: Our process with this book
Additional Resources
References
