Description
Book SynopsisSynopsis coming soon.......
Trade ReviewJanet Johnston Executive Director, Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition, and author of
In the Name of the Child Your Divorce Advisor, written by a seasoned lawyer-and-psychologist team, is a gem of a guidebook that empowers divorcing adults to take control of their own divorce -- legally, financially, and emotionally. It walks the reader through the divorce process, step by step. Vital information about financial matters and state-of-the-art research about the needs of children allow the reader to make constructive decisions for themselves and for their children, setting them on the pathway toward solutions that work for everybody involved. All of this is presented in a manner that is compassionate, sensible, and most comforting.
Nancy Dunnan author of
Dunnan's Guide to Your Investments, 2001 We know that divorce creates problems -- for the couple, their children, their family, their friends....Mercer and Pruett have done something other experts have failed to do: They have created rock-solid solutions based on their recognition that financial and legal decisions are inextricably influenced, even governed, by emotional feelings. The result: They offer a rare combination of legal, emotional, personal, and financial advice that makes this guidebook must reading, not only for anyone going through divorce but also for anyone knowing someone who is.
Forrest S. Mosten President, Mosten Mediation Centers
Your Divorce Advisor brilliantly and compassionately deals with the common challenges facing anyone going through a divorce. If your marriage is in trouble, you should buy
Your Divorce Advisor before you hire a lawyer. Lawyers and therapists should recommend
Your Divorce Advisor before the very first client meeting.
Louis Parley author of
The Ethical Family Lawyer Your Divorce Advisor is the most comprehensive divorce book on the market. It covers the legal issues extensively and is the only book to also tell you what you can expect to feel along the way. It offers an invaluable strategy for coping with the emotional demands of divorce, and has the best advice on talking with your kids about the divorce that I've read anywhere. It is the one book I will recommend to my divorcing clients.
Table of ContentsContentsForeword
IntroductionChapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce:
A View from the SummitBeginning at the End
Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce
Emotional Guideposts for DivorceChapter 2: Planning For Success:
Your Success Depends on the Path You ChooseThe First StepsHow Do I Start the Legal Process?
How Could This Be Happening to Our Family?
Why Are My Feelings So Complicated?
What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me?
The Next StepsWhat Should I Do Before Leaving?
What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do
This Planning?
Personal AssessmentChapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions:
Charting Your Own CourseWhat Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship?
What Are My Options for Divorce Representation?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator?
How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer?
Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal DecisionsHow Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to Divorce?
Personal AssessmentChapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a TimeFiling for DivorceDoes It Make a Difference Who Files First?
Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers
Arranging for Service of the Papers
The Mandatory Waiting PeriodStaying in or Leaving the House
What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and Prior to Divorce?
Alimony
Property Division
Personal Property in All Jurisdictions
AssetsHow Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit?
What Should We Do About Our House?
Tax Considerations
FaultWill Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in "No-Fault" Divorce?
If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role Does Fault Play in the Divorce?
What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time?
Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and TipsHow Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time?
What If I Have Sex with My Spouse?
What If I Want to Date Someone New?
What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer Has Advised Me to Be Tougher?
Personal AssessmentChapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures:
You Can Never Be Too PreparedPutting the Evidence Together
Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions,
and Subpoenas
Hidden Income
Personal and Fault IssuesWhat Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures?
Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences
How to Use Pretrial ProcessWhen and Why Should I Go to Trial?
Effecting a Settlement
Personal AssessmentChapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route
Court InterventionWhat Is the Procedure in a Trial?
What Counts as Evidence?
What Documents Are Needed by the Court?
How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the
Lawyer's Fees?
What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider?
What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as
Evidence?
How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial?
If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About It?
What If My Spouse Is Lying?
What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial?
Personal AssessmentChapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children:
How Not to Get Lost
The Decision to SeparateHow Do We Tell the Children?
How Will My Children Feel and React?
How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce?
Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family?
Personal AssessmentChapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements:
Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family
What Are Our Legal Options for
Raising Our Children After Divorce?
Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus CustodyWhat Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared
Parenting?
Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More Traditional Custody Situations?
Developing a Schedule for Living ArrangementsWhat Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by Divorcing Parents?
Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting
Plans?
What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of
Different Ages?
Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared
ParentingWhat Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan?
What If We Can't Agree?
What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit?
Can I Relocate?
Where Child Support Fits InWhat Are Child Support Guidelines?
Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision
Where Child Support Is Spent
Personal AssessmentChapter 9: Contested Custody Cases:
Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing
When to Consider a Custody Battle
Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved
in a Court Battle
The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case
Evaluations of the Child and FamilyHow Is an Evaluator Chosen?
What Happens in an Evaluation?
What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation?
How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a
Successful Outcome?How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations?
In the Event of a Trial
How Do I Help My Children at This Stage?
What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me?
Personal AssessmentChapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse:
When the Route Is Really Dangerous
Definitions of Violence
Patterns of Abusive Relationships
Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children
When Your Children Are Involved and AffectedWhat If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence?
Assessing and Acting When You Are at RiskHow Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or Escalating Violence?
What Do I Do First?
What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned?
Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders
of ProtectionHow Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order?
How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse?
Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order
What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You
Children's Involvement in the Legal ProcessWhat If My Child Is the One Being Abused?
Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the Offending Parent?
What If My Children Don't See It My Way?
Emotional Blackmail of Children
Abduction
Personal AssessmentChapter 11: Life After Divorce:
When the Horizon Beckons Anew
Follow-Up Tasks
To-Do List
Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment
Credit Issues
Health Insurance
Social Security
Record KeepingWhat Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in
the Future?
If You Do Not Have Children
If You Have Children
Enforcement of Orders
Embarking on Your New LifeHow Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and
My Children?
How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children?
What About My Own Dating and Sex Life?
How Do I Establish New Family Traditions?
Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach?
Personal AssessmentChapter 12: Conclusions: At the SummitAppendix
Resources
References
Index
