Description
Book SynopsisThere are many messages in this book: Never go drinking using your passport for ID. Make sure to apply lidocaine before ripping out your toenails. Magic might be real, but it never fixes the worst of your problems. Try to fall in love with bastards. You or someone you know may be gayer than previously thought. We’re not going to make it to Mars. A locked psychiatric ward needs more books than a single copy of Jane Eyre. Asking time travellers for advice on your exams is considered cheating. It’s not just human houses that become haunted. The key message is this: Life in the early 21st century is often very strange. So are these stories. With a crisp insouciance and gliding charm, Jack Cottrell’s fiery, fey, finely-tuned fictions leap from sci-fi to fantasy, comedy to horror, literary realism to romance, and to hybrids of all of these. Featuring sport, friendship, love, health, family, climate change, artificial intelligence, desire, magic, Greek gods, ghosts, peanut butter, cyber pranks, racial prejudice, and creepy medical advances, his stories play with the allure of the past, the disturbances of our own times, and the dangerous idealism of our future technologies – each one in fewer than 300 words. Jack is a writer and volunteer rugby referee who knows how to pack a lot into a small space, whether a story or an extremely organised sports bag. With ‘Ten Acceptable Acts of Arson’, has he worked out how to cram an entire universe into a pocket-sized capsule?
Table of ContentsMONDAY A week in the life — part I This Is A Public Service Announcement Blue screen of death The unfortunate limitations of magic Reasons why I called in sick rather than go to the mihi whakatau for new employees last Friday The routine Monday lunchtime The trick isn’t finding adventure, but recognising it The most terrible assimilation is the one we convince ourselves is for our own good Starts at home This story is all about you Where writers get their ideas TUESDAY A week in the life — part II But the graffiti is amazing Vengeance is sweeter than strawberries An abridged taxonomy of little-known ghosts: A to L And there are so many to choose from Telling the bees Tuesday lunchtime The word you’re looking for is ‘incurable’ Windfall At least I got a cardboard crown out of the whole deal After a certain point the difference between one and infinity becomes academic Climate dissonance They probably play the viola WEDNESDAY A week in the life — part III The invisible hand A microcosm of human life and existence An object lesson in why you should always read the terms and conditions before clicking accept Don’t be evil The flour dealer Wednesday lunchtime Agraphorum imago Promise to meet me at the seventh stream where the waters run away to the sea The rueful limitations of magic Hephaestus Move fast and break things The practical downsides of accidental necromancy Bargaining with faeries Work and Income gothic THURSDAY A week in the life — part IV Monster spray Changeling Trying Nana would approve Ten acceptable acts of arson What’s in the box? But when have we ever just left well enough alone? Thursday lunchtime Nothing to hide, nothing to fear A classics major is not for the faint-hearted The dare No sacrifice to the elder gods is ever wasted FRIDAY A week in the life — part V Boat people Once and future Where are they now? A necessary evil A trip to the moon Friday lunchtime Drifter Old haunts The predictable limitations of magic An abridged taxonomy of little-known ghosts: N to S Phantoms What could be more banal than eternity? Bar guests Some secrets don’t need names SATURDAY A week in the life — part VI The earth remembers An incomplete inventory of my referee kitbag for one (1) day of a rugby tournament The prop forward Consequences of pace bowling number 322: Severe trust issues There’s a break for tea somewhere in here as well Long has paled that summer sky New Zealand gothic Saturday lunchtime Completely accurate horoscopes A matter of perspective All for one? Is it still just a bromance if you daydream about seeing him naked? Bombay Polo Club SUNDAY A week in the life — part VII For the convenience of other sinners An unfortunate legacy Unrealities Bertha Rochester would like a word If you can’t be useful, at least be decorative A memoir Demons possess, angels abandon Sunday lunchtime The android’s dream A dark place Vacant possession The undiscovered country There are no right words Notes Acknowledgements
