Description
Book SynopsisBeatrix uses words like she uses paint. . .with brush strokes so vivid and rich I feel as if I’m there watching as her story unfolds. I love this book!” Sissy Spacek
Beatrix Ost’s memoir of her artistic awakening and early marriage opens on the heels of Germany’s recovery from the self-imposed disasters of World War II. She is part of the new generation that dances disobediently in the bombed-out villas and underground jazz caverns of Munich. Beatrix rides the dynamic decade up through the world of art, fashion, and cinema into the revolution of politics and consciousness.
Marriage to the self-made prodigy and archaeologist, Ferdinand, impresario of the Hot Club, draws her into the mystical realm of the ancient Mexican gods. Soon, two sons are born. They make an odyssey through Mexico where, under the wing of the artistic elite, their homes full of Riveras and Kahlos, the initial impression is intoxicating. But the further they press inland, the more Ferdinand loses himself in his obsession and addictions.
Ost draws us into the vortex of human craving to portray the complexities of her early marriage to a man scarred by the war, climbing the magical mountain of his own desires.
Accompanied by the author’s artwork and photographs from her private collection, Ost
shakes free of an impossibly dark life as the wife of an alcoholic
brushes off the stardust of romance and, stepping back in the light, comes into her own.” (Barbara Epler, President, New Directions Publishing)
Trade Review"This exhilarating, beautifully written memoir, dotted with photos and drawings, bursts with Ost's love of life and passion for art."Candace Smith, Booklist
Table of ContentsBefore We Begin 6 PART ONE 8 The Sphere 9 A tale of innocence A Farewell 18 Father’s dream of Africa The Bird of Paradise Dress 25 How a young former officer became our family’s familiar My Sister Becomes a Beast 40 Shoving a fiancé off to America Hammer or Anvil 49 A saffron dress, a marital blessing PART TWO 56 The Letter-Writer 57 They never doubted my cleverness Black and White 70 Beauty causes a car accident Coffeehouse Culture 76 There I saw him for the first time The Villa 83 We became creatures of the demimonde The Raft 89 The infallible omnipotent finger into the future Love 98 A sandstorm of grandiose words The Mother 112 They were accomplices Proper Lies 119 Love is a powerful, moody god The Song of Irresponsibility 130 The listener falls for the storyteller Chaos Takes Over Order 137 Robust reality holds the thread of happiness Elixir of Personal Freedom 145 The ampule in the desk drawer Bob 157 Probably even the sofa is pregnant Sympathy for the Object of Contempt 164 A kind of Machiavellian footnote Smoky Language of the Wind 172 She carries a knife of obsidian at her breast PART THREE 182 The Journey 183 Mankind must sacrifice its treasures to the gods Ciudad de Mexico 193 Self-dramatization as an art form Yo creo que es el 198 She called him Ixtla Octli The Black Bull 209 God of seduction, pain and plaisir The Castillo 226 Our wedding of Eros and Despair What I Still Wanted to Say 241 A Thank-You Note 247
