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Book SynopsisHeal Your Relationship with Sex “Through her own sexual healing journey and those of others, author and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet takes us back to a place where we can all develop the courage to reclaim our sexual desires. —Louann Brizendine, MD, New York Times Best Selling Author of The Female Brain and The Male Brain # 1 Best Seller in Sexual Health and LGBT Studies Overcome your discomfort: Living An Orgasmic Life is for those who find sex challenging and are uncomfortable with their sex life. Women who are alienated from their erotic side due to sexual abuse or trauma will find healing balm in these pages. Women who can’t surrender into pleasure, can’t sustain intimacy, or want to reclaim and feel empowered in their sexuality will greatly benefit from this book. Awaken your sexuality. Challenges with sexuality are common and infrequently discussed. Xanet Pailet explores the reasons that cause women to disconnect from their sexuality including shame, body image issues, sexual abuse and trauma, physical wounding, and fears of intimacy. She provides practical advice and tools to help women awaken to their sexuality in a healthy way and reclaim their libido. Add sex back into your marriage. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 20% of married couples are only having sex once a month—a sexless marriage. And, the number of reported sexless marriages has quadrupled in the last 20 years. Living An Orgasmic Life is filled with lessons and practical exercises to take your sex life from non-existent or mediocre to fulfilling. Learn: Why it’s so hard to talk about sex in a world where everything is about sex How sexual trauma can occur and how to heal it How to reignite your libido If you benefited from reading Sex Rx, Urban Tantra, Come as You Are, or Womancode, Living An Orgasmic Life is a must read.
Table of ContentsIntroduction PART ONE: Healing yourself from Shame, Sexual Abuse and Physical Trauma Chapter 1: A Night of Goddess Worship Can Change Your Life Chapter 2: Living a Life of Lies Appearances Can Be Deceiving The Widening Divide What Happened to Us? We were doomed from the start Finding a Home in Your Body Chapter 3: Women are Programmed to Say “No” to Sex An Oversexed, Sex-Starved Culture Sexless Marriage vs Upsetting the Apple Cart Where Did my Libido Go? “Keep your legs shut!” Good Girl Madonna, Bad Girl Whore The more we have sex, the more we want sex (Good sex begets more good sex) Chapter 4: Shame: The Nastiest Five-Letter Word in the Universe The Shame/Pleasure Paradox Ancient Cultures Were Sex-Positive Shame and Your Sexual Blueprint Jessica’s Story: Body Shame Jeff’s Story: Delayed Ejaculation Shame Sexual Blueprint Exercise Tim’s Story: Shame from Inappropriate Attraction Anya’s Story: Sexually Repressed Shame Bob’s Story: Shame Around Experiencing Desire Masturbation and Shame Delia’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Disassociation from Pleasure Keith’s Story: Masturbation Shame and Early Ejaculation Body Shame: A Generalized, Cultural Disorder Exercise: Body Talk Too Big, Too Small: Sex Organ Shame Jim’s Story: Cock Size Shame Pussy Shame Annie’s Story: My Vagina is Normal! Sexual Fetishism Ralph’s Story: Cross Dressing and Submissive Shame Chapter 5: Sexual Abuse and Trauma Overt and Covert Abuse Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Impact on Sexuality Anne’s Story: Unresolved Trauma causing Vaginismus Repression of Memories Trauma and Self-Protection Mechanisms Darla’s Story: Trauma and Disassociation Tonya’s Story: Trauma and Over-Stimulation Ellen’s Story: Slaying the Tiger Downstream Effects of Abuse Lilly’s Story: Trauma and Fear of Intimacy Cecilia’s Story: Trauma and Self-Abusive Behavior Men and Sexual Trauma David’s Story: Recreating Abusive Relationships Working with Sexual Trauma Jessie and Mark’s Story: Resolving Trauma and Reclaiming their Sex Life Chapter 6: The Body Remembers: Trauma & Physical Imprinting Trauma and Physical Imprinting Body Memory Physical Trauma’s Impact on Sexuality Heal the Body, Heal the Mind Releasing Trapped Pain from Trauma Raina’s Story: Trauma from a Routine Gynecological Exam Holistic Pelvic Care Carrie’s Story: Healing Trauma from Childbirth Jane’s Story: Weaning Herself Off a Vibrator by Rewiring Physical Patterns Exercise: Awakening New Pleasure Pathways Ingrid and Mark’s Story: Activating New Pleasure Pathways Chapter 7: Blocks to Intimacy Attachment Theory (“It really is all your mother’s fault”) Secure Attachment Anxious Attachment Avoidant Attachment Anxious Avoidant Attachment Other Influences on Attachment The Influence of Attachment Style in Adult Relationships Victor’s Story: Perpetually in the Friend Zone Emotional Detachment (Why Crying is So Good for You) Intimacy Requires an Emotional Connection Lisa’s Story: Learning How to Let Others Care for Her Tristan’s Story: Dealing with a Broken Heart Caryn’s Story: Confusing Sex with Love PART TWO: Awakening Your Pleasure Chapter 8: Beginning the Journey of Sexual Healing & Awakening Four Guiding Principles to Transform your Sex Life Self-Awareness and Courage Exercise: Visioning Letter Understanding and Banishing Sexual Shame Accepting and Loving Your Body Exercise: Create Your Vagina Timeline Bethany’s Story: My Period Betrayed Me Julia’s Story: Where Did My Beautiful Body Go? Laina’s Story: Menopause Madness Embodiment—The Place to Begin Chapter 9: Coming home to My Body and Welcoming Pleasure Welcoming Pleasure The Road to Becoming a Sex and Intimacy Coach Sexological Bodywork SkyDancing Tantra Teacher Training Somatica: The Glue that Holds it All Together Chapter 10: So What is Tantra Anyway? Origins of Tantra The Emergence of SkyDancing Tantra Exercise: The Yoni Talk Chakras and Sexual Awakening Exercise: Subtle Energy Principles of Tantra Exercise: Chakra Sounding Chapter 11: How to Reignite Your Shrinking Libido Desire and Your Hormones Desire and Your Internal Landscape Exercise: Sacred Space Ritual: A Partner Practice Vanilla Sex Can Kill Your Libido Karen’s Story: Boring Sex Desire and Your External Landscape Exercise: Peak Sexual Experience Survey Knowing What You Want Who Initiates Sex? Understand Your Sexual Style When Sexual Styles Conflict Anne and Jeremy’s Story: Conflicting Sexual Styles Switching it Up: Sexual Styles Aren’t Static Core Erotic Theme Exercise: Identifying Your Hottest Sexual Movie Chapter 12: Great Sex is about Polarity Why Opposites Attract Fantasy and Cultural Taboos Collette and Liam’s Story: Creating Sexual Polarity through Role-Play Sexual Polarity is Upside Down in our Society Andrea’s Story: Finding Her Feminine Self Exercise: Fun Ways to Find Your Sexy Masculinity and Male Sexuality Paul’s Story: Permission to Feel Desire Genevieve and Carl’s Story: Learning to Surrender into Dominance Chapter 13: Realizing Your Pleasure Potential Slow Things Down Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body The Ins and Outs of Orgasm The Power of Touch The Three Minute Game Exercise: Touching for Your Own Pleasure You are Responsible for Your Arousal Learning What You Want Exercise: Self-Loving Practice Orgasms Don’t Just Happen in Your Genitals Anal Pleasure Chapter 14: Living an Orgasmic Life Sex is a Basic Human Need like Food and Shelter A Sexual Woman is a Creative Woman Sex Transmutation Quantum Physics and Sex Exercise: Feed Your Creativity The Process of Transformation Nora’s Story: Making a Career Change Intuition: The Greatest Gift of All Exercise: Cultivating Your Intuition by Learning Your “Yes” and “No” Lara’s Story: Making a Life Changing Decision to be a Single Mom Brant’s Story: When Sex and Creativity Flows, So Does the Money Darleen’s Story: Reinventing Oneself in Her 60s Your Story Next
