Description
Book SynopsisBe Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: How to Perform an Exorcism What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll How to Survive an Alien Invasion How to Tell If You ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.
Trade Review“Grahame-Smith’s little volume is just like a horror movie: entertaining and…a fun afternoon’s diversion.”
—The Hartford Courant
“If you have snakes on your plane, did something last summer or suspect you’ve been dead since the beginning of the movie, then this is the book for you.”
—McClatchy-Tribune
“If anyone would know how to survive a horror movie, it would be Seth Grahame-Smith.”
—Tulsa World “
How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for horror movie buffs of all ages.”
—Think Geek
“Insightful, funny, and a must-have companion for any horror fan.”
—Geeks of Doom
“A tongue-in-cheek guide loaded with humorous insights to the many familiar cinematic tropes that populate the genre.”
—Horror DNA, 4 star reviewTable of ContentsFOREWORD: AN APOLOGY FROM WES CRAVEN
CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSE
How Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie?
How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In?
C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North)
The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins
How to Survive a Horror Movie High School
CHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOL
The Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat Them
How to Survive Summer Vacation
How to Survive a Night of Babysitting
How to Stay Awake for a Week
CHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVIL
How to Survive a Haunted House
What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead
How to Defeat a Killer Doll
How to Tell If an Object Is Evil
CHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHY
How to Survive a Cemetery
The Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your Ghosts
How to Kill the Living Dead
How to Kill a Vampire
How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie
CHAPTER V: MONSTER MASH
How to Survive a Global Alien Attack
What to Do If It Follows You
How to Survive a Space-Based Horror Movie
CHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS”
What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in It
Four Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an Exorcism
What to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to Live
How to Defeat Satan
