Description
Book SynopsisCan everything be forgiven? Forgiving the small and average sufferings experienced throughout life is one thing. But what about bigger transgressions, like infidelity, abuse, or even large-scale offenses such as genocide? Showing that forgiveness is the healing of the heart’s wounds as well as the revival of love, Olivier Clerc looks at what prerequisites might be needed to enter into a process of forgiving and what the effects of doing so might be, for oneself as much as, if not more than, for the perpetrator. He identifies 15 obstacles to forgiveness--prejudices, confusions, false ideas, misunderstandings--and discusses where these perceptions and obstacles originate from, which keep many of us from taking the path to healing.
Exploring how to overcome the obstacles to forgiveness and how to let go and change our thinking, the author details four practical methods for forgiveness, each with a unique approach: the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness, Fred Luskin’s Nine Steps to Forgiveness, and the author’s own Gift of Forgiveness, inspired by his work with don Miguel Ruiz. Drawing from his years of forgiveness work as well as from the Forgiveness Project, he shares inspiring testimonies and examples from both victims and perpetrators who have rebuilt their lives after trauma by walking the path of conscious forgiveness. Clerc reveals how choosing to engage in a conscious process of forgiving our perpetrators--while not without struggle--helps stop a spiral of destruction, cleanses the heart, and leads to relief, freedom, and inner peace. Even when faced with the unspeakable, forgiveness is a path we can all take and in doing so we recover our full capacity to love and find happiness.
Trade Review“In an ever more closely intertwined world, forgiveness could be called the number one survival skill. Olivier Clerc has an amazing record of spreading the word, and I cannot recommend his book too highly for any conscious human being.” * Pierre Pradervand, author of The Gentle Art of Blessing *
“
Healing the Wounds of the Heart is a superb book that allows us to understand both the why and how to forgive. The author’s study and practice shows his deep understanding of forgiveness. He offers compelling insights and moving stories. It is rare to find a book that is both simple and deep. I recommend this book without hesitation.” * Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good and director of the Stanford University Forgivene *
“Beyond answering the important question framed in the title, this book does a superb job of teasing out the nuances of forgiveness from beginning to end, reflecting the author’s deep experience, wisdom, and heart. For the person who wants to understand forgiveness, this book is an excellent choice. For the one ready to forgive, several practical approaches are provided. For those struggling with forgiveness, the book provides an invaluable discussion of the obstacles to forgiveness and the spiritual development that is possible to those who apply themselves to this path.” * Eileen Barker, author of the Forgiveness Workbook and founder of the Path of Forgiveness *
“This might be one of the most important books you will ever read. Everyone, without exception, has some forgiveness issues. Unknowingly, these issues drain our life of true vitality and joy. We’ve all heard that it’s good to forgive. The uniqueness of Olivier’s book lies in its clear explanation of why we probably won’t do just that. As a teacher of personnel development, I have seen people transformed and released upon realizing specifically why they hold on to pain and judgment. You can see in their eyes the immense gift it is to finally free the heart so it can love and dance once more. Read this book, free yourself.” * Bernard Groom, A Course in Miracles teacher *
Table of ContentsForeword by
Lewis Mehl-Madrona, M.D.Preface
PART 1
Forgiveness Defined Forgiveness -- What Is It Really?
Forgiveness or Healing the Wounds of the Heart
PART 2
The Main Obstacles to Forgiveness and How to Overcome Them
1 Forgiveness Would Exclusively Be a Religious
Practice Practical Method #1--
Forgive for Good: Dr Fred Luskin’s 9 Steps2 Forgiveness as Outmoded and Outdated
3 Forgiveness Would Mainly Be a Gift to the Other
4 Forgiving Would Amount to Condoning, Accepting, and Excusing
5 Forgiving Would Be Impossible without the Other Offering Their Apologies or Asking for Forgiveness
Practical Method #2--
Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness
6 If We Have Forgiven, We Should Forget
7 Forgiving Would Be Reconciling
8 Mistaking the Person and the Action
9 Seeing Only the Personal Dimension of the Action
Practical Method #3--
Ho‘oponopono: The Hawaiian Approach to Forgiveness 10 Wanting to Understand Immediately What You Are Experiencing
11 Forgiveness and Arrogance
12 Asking for Forgiveness Would Induce Feeling Guilty
13 Asking for Forgiveness Would Be Humiliating
Practical Method #4--
The Gift of Forgiveness: Four Progressive Requests for Forgiveness 14 Forgiveness Would Be a Sign of Weakness
15 Wanting to Do Things Too Quickly
Conclusion Can Everything Be Forgiven?
Bonus The Metaphor of the Two Clouds
Recommended Reading
The Forgiveness Project
Acknowledgements
Index
About the Author
