Description
Book SynopsisStart your healing journey to forgive or seek forgiveness—buoyed by spiritual and psychological insights and practical steps. "We have both witnessed the power of forgiveness as well as the devastating sense of loss that comes from withholding forgiveness. We invite you to journey with us as we explore all the dimensions of forgiveness, learning how to apply this gift to yourself and your life, as well as using it to guide others toward a happier, more peaceful existence." —from the Introduction Everyone seeks forgiveness at some point in their lives—in families, from friends, in workplaces, in communities or from ourselves—but we often falter when we discover the practice takes more than simply saying or hearing “I forgive you.” In this dynamic look at the process of forgiveness, conflict resolution experts Myra Warren Isenhart and Michael Spangle look at what is really keeping you from forgiving or seeking forgiveness. In addition to focusing on the soulful benefits of forgiveness, they also draw on insights from many fields—communication, psychology, counseling and theology, as well as their own original research—to explore the mental and emotional barriers in your path. Learn how to: Make distinctions between forgiveness, apology and reconciliation Identify the conditions that make reconciliation appropriate or inappropriate Understand the elements of an effective apology Extend forgiveness to yourself Assist others in their own forgiveness journey
Trade Review"Draw[s] on many different religious traditions and scholarly disciplines…. Successfully explores the many dimensions of forgiveness … remarkable and useful." —Rev. Anita L. Bradshaw, PhD, author, Change and Conflict in Your Congregation (Even If You Hate Both): How to Implement Conscious Choices, Manage Emotions and Build a Thriving Christian Community “A rich, well-researched and thoughtful guide to forgiveness. Offer[s] a wide array of tools to help the reader navigate the difficult paths to forgiveness.” —Frederic Luskin, PhD, author, Forgive for Good “A comprehensive guide for helping people understand forgiveness and assisting them through this often challenging process. Invaluable for psychologists and mediators who facilitate the forgiveness process with their clients.” —Scott Poland, PhD, psychologist and mediator, Fort Collins, Colorado “A tour de force—empirically based and applicable! Helps us better understand the facets of forgiveness—psychological, relational, spiritual—and offers a wide array of approaches for putting them into practice in our everyday lives.” —Diane M. Millis, PhD, author, Deepening Engagement: Essential Wisdom for Listening and Leading with Purpose, Meaning and Joy “An exceptional resource for every practitioner who is looking for new ideas to reframe and often heal life's hurts and offenses. Equally useful for every person wanting to give or receive genuine forgiveness.” —Elizabeth Loescher, founder and former executive director, Conflict Center of Denver, Colorado; founder, Georgia Conflict Center “In a world of ever more amplifying conflict, a constricting world in which we cannot escape the inevitable rage and hurts others feel, Isenhart and Spangle give us a gateway. If you are in the business of trying to deal with wounds, read this book.” —Peter S. Adler, PhD, author, Eye of the Storm Leadership “Profoundly addresses this essential element in a healed and whole life…. With wisdom, practicality and concrete suggestions for making forgiveness real in one’s life—a truly important tool for any individual or any helper in any field.” —The Rev. Marilyn Schneider, Episcopal priest and spiritual director
Table of ContentsIntroduction 1. The Nature of Forgiveness: Begin with a Clear Understanding 2. Ways We Experience Forgiveness: Three Perspectives on Harm Within and Between Us 3. Benefits of Forgiving and Being Forgiven: Releasing the Past, Embracing the Future 4. Resisting the Practice of Forgiveness: Why Such Difficulties? 5. What Facilitates Forgiveness? Personality, Relationships, and Communities 6. The Path to Forgiveness: Acknowledging Our Mistakes and Taking Action 7. Self-Forgiveness: Confronting Our Harshest Critic 8. The Role of Apology: How Apologies Heal 9. Reconciliation: The Bridge to Repairing a Broken Relationship 10. When Forgiving and Reconciling Are Difficult: Overcoming the Factors That Prevent Forgiveness 11 . Helping Others Forgive: Serving as a Peacemaker in the World Around You Concluding Thoughts Acknowledgments Notes Suggestions for Further Learning
