Description
Book SynopsisEveryone seeks forgiveness at some point in their lives-in families, from friends, in workplaces, in communities or from ourselves. While we all need forgiveness to repair or let go of broken relationships, how to seek forgiveness and conquer the barriers that prevent forgiveness often elude us. Drawing on insights from many fields-communication, psychology, counselling and theology-as well as the authors' original research, the authors provide specific guidance about the personal journey toward forgiveness and offer a variety of tools toward achieving this goal: Ways to understand the relationship between forgiveness, apology and reconciliation, and the conditions that make reconciliation appropriate or inappropriate; The elements of effective apologies; Recent research findings to help readers understand the psychological, relational and spiritual complexities of forgiveness; Real-life examples of people in various stages of forgiveness; How to assist others to forgive in families, friendships, the workplace and communities; Reflection questions to help readers-individuals or groups, personal use or in counselling settings-explore their own relationship with forgiveness.
Trade Review"Draw[s] on many different religious traditions and scholarly disciplines…. Successfully explores the many dimensions of forgiveness … remarkable and useful." —Rev. Anita L. Bradshaw, PhD, author, Change and Conflict in Your Congregation (Even If You Hate Both): How to Implement Conscious Choices, Manage Emotions and Build a Thriving Christian Community “A rich, well-researched and thoughtful guide to forgiveness. Offer[s] a wide array of tools to help the reader navigate the difficult paths to forgiveness.” —Frederic Luskin, PhD, author, Forgive for Good “A comprehensive guide for helping people understand forgiveness and assisting them through this often challenging process. Invaluable for psychologists and mediators who facilitate the forgiveness process with their clients.” —Scott Poland, PhD, psychologist and mediator, Fort Collins, Colorado “A tour de force—empirically based and applicable! Helps us better understand the facets of forgiveness—psychological, relational, spiritual—and offers a wide array of approaches for putting them into practice in our everyday lives.” —Diane M. Millis, PhD, author, Deepening Engagement: Essential Wisdom for Listening and Leading with Purpose, Meaning and Joy “An exceptional resource for every practitioner who is looking for new ideas to reframe and often heal life's hurts and offenses. Equally useful for every person wanting to give or receive genuine forgiveness.” —Elizabeth Loescher, founder and former executive director, Conflict Center of Denver, Colorado; founder, Georgia Conflict Center “In a world of ever more amplifying conflict, a constricting world in which we cannot escape the inevitable rage and hurts others feel, Isenhart and Spangle give us a gateway. If you are in the business of trying to deal with wounds, read this book.” —Peter S. Adler, PhD, author, Eye of the Storm Leadership “Profoundly addresses this essential element in a healed and whole life…. With wisdom, practicality and concrete suggestions for making forgiveness real in one’s life—a truly important tool for any individual or any helper in any field.” —The Rev. Marilyn Schneider, Episcopal priest and spiritual director
Table of ContentsIntroduction 1. The Nature of Forgiveness: Begin with a Clear Understanding 2. Ways We Experience Forgiveness: Three Perspectives on Harm Within and Between Us 3. Benefits of Forgiving and Being Forgiven: Releasing the Past, Embracing the Future 4. Resisting the Practice of Forgiveness: Why Such Difficulties? 5. What Facilitates Forgiveness? Personality, Relationships, and Communities 6. The Path to Forgiveness: Acknowledging Our Mistakes and Taking Action 7. Self-Forgiveness: Confronting Our Harshest Critic 8. The Role of Apology: How Apologies Heal 9. Reconciliation: The Bridge to Repairing a Broken Relationship 10. When Forgiving and Reconciling Are Difficult: Overcoming the Factors That Prevent Forgiveness 11 . Helping Others Forgive: Serving as a Peacemaker in the World Around You Concluding Thoughts Acknowledgments Notes Suggestions for Further Learning
