Description
Book SynopsisThe word caregiver typically suggests someone doing all the giving for a frail, physically or mentally challenged, or aging person who is doing all the receiving. Marty Richards proposes a rebalanced approach of "caresharing." From this perspective, the "cared for" and the "carer" share a deep sense of connection. Each has strengths and resources. Each can teach the other. Each can share in grief, hope, love and wisdom. Richards shows you how to move from independent caregiving to interdependent caresharing by engaging the spiritual and emotional aspects of caring for a loved one. Whether you are a daughter or son, a husband or wife, a sibling, long-term partner or good friend, CARESHARING offers a multi-layered, reciprocal process that will help you keep your spirit-and your loved one's spirit-alive in challenging times.
Trade Review"Opens up a world of possibilities of ways to 'share' the caring experience and provides a detailed path to support people on their own journey." —Rev. Gwen Brandfass, chair, Forum on Religion, Spirituality and Aging (a constituent group of the American Society on Aging) "Offers precious wisdom and comfort.... Points the way for caregiver and care receiver to learn, grow, heal and thrive amidst soul-searing challenges." —Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, director, Hiddur: The Center for Aging and Judaism, Reconstructionist Rabbinical College; author, Jewish Visions for Aging: A Professional Guide for Fostering Wholeness “The perfect handbook for anyone called to give or receive care. Brims with wise counsel, inspiring stories and practical resources. Offers a fresh and hopeful vision of mutual relationships to help us realize this graced togetherness.” —Kathleen Fischer, PhD, author, Winter Grace: Spirituality and Aging “A creative and vital new approach to caring. Provides an honest, down-to-earth approach to the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of the caregiver and the care receiver. A great blessing and benefit to all persons involved in caring relationships.” —Dr. Richard H. Gentzler, Jr., director, Center on Aging and Older Adult Ministries, The United Methodist Church “Nothing less than masterful. Richards' concrete and profound perspective on hope and how hope affects caresharing is a wonderful addition to existing literature on caregiving and care receiving. Needs to be read by every caregiver and care receiver as well as their families and friends.” —Rev. Donald Koepke, director emeritus, California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging “Gently but thoroughly confronts the myth of independence. We are in this life together. A must read for all pastors and parish life directors.” —Rev. James P. Oberle, S.S., PhD, director, Holy Spirit Center, Anchorage, Alaska “An inspiration to many of us in the field of Alzheimer’s care. Touches the spirit in all of us, teaches and inspires. Highly recommended.” —David Troxel, coauthor, The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care
Table of ContentsPrelude xi 1 THE DANCE OF SHARING CARE 1 An Invitation to Share Care 1 A New Vision for Sharing Care 2 The Basic Steps of the Caresharing Dance 7 Expanding the Caresharing Network 13 The Body/Mind/Spirit Connection 21 When Things Get Complicated 30 2 SHARING WISDOM: WHAT THE FRAIL TEACH THE WELL 37 Inner Wisdom 37 Clearing the Way 39 Putting Yourself in the Role of a Learner 42 Gaining New Understanding from Stories 51 Receiving Spiritual Strength 54 3 FAMILIES SHARING THE CARE: REINVENTING THE ROLES AND RULES 58 Family Systems 58 Family Roles 60 Family Rules 72 Family Secrets 78 4 SHARING "SOUL TO SOUL": A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE WITH COGNITIVE LIMITS 83 Facing Difficult Challenges 83 Understanding the Stages of Dementia 84 Building Effective Communication 93 Keeping the Spirit Alive 100 Dealing with Difficult Behaviors 105 Connecting Soul to Soul 107 5 SHARING GRIEF: COPING WITH THE “LARGE” AND THE “LITTLE” LOSSES 118 The Presence of Grief 118 Facing Transitions 119 Facing Losses 120 Dimensions of Grief 127 Grief Responses 138 Coping with Grief 141 Spiritual Dimensions of Grief 147 6 SHARING FORGIVENESS: A KEY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY IN CARESHARING 155 The Importance of Forgiveness 155 The Nature of Forgiveness 158 The Barriers to Forgiveness 160 Relationship Matters 165 Daily Matters 168 Where to Start 172 Spiritual Dimensions of Forgiveness 180 Reconciliation 183 7 SHARING HOPE: AN ACTIVE PROCESS ONE STEP AT A TIME 188 The Importance of Hope in Caresharing 188 Definitions of Hope 190 Four Key Aspects of Hope 193 Keeping Hope Alive 200 An Action Plan for Building on Hope 206 Postlude 223 Suggestions for Further Reading 225 Acknowledgments 227
