To create generative, expansive, and open solutions to some of life's most challenging obstacles
Table of Contents
Foreword xv
Introduction xix
Section 1 Starting with Who You Are 1
Chapter 1 Finding Meaning & Purpose: Inspiration 3
The Meaning of Meaning 3
Case Study: Tegan 4
Finding Inspiration 5
What Is Meaning? 7
So, What Is Meaning? 8
Why Does Having a Sense of Meaning Matter? 8
Meaning Is Personal and Not Always Constant 9
What Are Some Ways to Find My Meaning? 10
Who Are You in This Life? 12
Starting at the Beginning 12
What Does All That Mean? 15
Case Study: Tegan 16
Values 17
Character Strengths, Motivation, and Engagement 18
Chapter 2 In Your Own Way: Normalization 21
Being in Your Own Way 23
Case Study: Tegan & Jamal 24
Normal vs. Average 25
Normal vs. Universal 26
Doing in Your Own Way 27
Psychological Flexibility 27
Case Study: Tegan 28
An Aside on the Opportunities of Groups 29
Chapter 3 Getting Out of Your Own Way: Improvisation 33
Reason and Emotion 34
Accepting Conflicting Truths 36
Case Study: Tegan 37
What If Every Choice Is Right— and Wrong? 39
There Is No Magic Recipe for Success 41
It Is Not Just the Client That Must Get Out of the Way 44
Recommendation 1 45
Recommendation 2 46
Recommendation 3 46
Recommendation 4 46
Where We Are Going Next 49
Section 2 Launching the Journey to Your Future 51
Chapter 4 Appreciating the Coaching Journey: Co-Creation 53
Case Study 54
Is a Coach Even Necessary? (Or Can I Coach Myself?) 54
The Role of the Coach 57
The Coaching Agenda 60
A Sounding Board 64
A Truthteller 65
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real 66
An Accountability Partner 67
Case Study: Tegan 68
Being a Coaching Client 69
Chapter 5 Being Hopeful: Expectation 71
Focusing on Hope 71
Defining Hope 72
Elementary Time Travel 74
A Small Amount of Brain Science 75
Visualizing Outcomes 76
Seeing Pathways 79
Choosing Your Actions 79
Handling Disappointment 80
Interactions of Hope with Other Strengths 81
Case Study: Jamal 82
Cultivating Hope 84
Case Study: Jamal 84
Hope Is Not Just for Individuals 85
Chapter 6 Being Strong: Motivation 87
Strengths as Pathways to Motivation 87
Character Strengths 101 88
Strengths- Spotting in Coaching 89
Character Strengths as Core Motivators 90
Some Thoughts About Motivation 91
Case Study: Tegan 92
Assessments vs. Storytelling 96
Case Study: Tegan 96
Knowing Your Strengths 98
What Else Do You Need to Know About Strengths? 100
The Golden Mean 100
The Art of Balancing 103
SEAing Is Believing 104
There Is No Right Answer: What the Coach Sees 106
Bringing It Back to Motivation 107
Chapter 7 Being Brave: Conversation 109
Being Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable 110
Doubt and Bravery 110
What the Research Tells Us 112
Getting Specific 114
Changing the Narrative with Coaching 116
Reframe #1: I Will Cope 116
Reframe #2: Feeling Bad Is Good 118
Reframe #3: Bravery Can Be Developed a Little at a Time 119
Case Study: Jamal 120
Reframe #4: Bravery Is Sometimes Knowing When to Say No 122
Fired Up with Curiosity 124
Chapter 8 Being Curious: Exploration 125
What Is Curiosity? 126
Matchmaking in Coaching and Other Helping Situations 128
Case Study: Tegan 128
Why Curiosity Is Powerful 130
Case Study: Jamal 132
Why Curiosity Can Be Too Much 133
Curiosity as the Antithesis of Mindfulness 133
Curiosity as Overcompensation for Nerves 136
Cultivating Healthy Curiosity as a Coach 137
Cultivating Healthy Curiosity as a Client 138
The Interaction of Client and Coach 139
Case Study: Tegan 141
Being Curious About Curiosity 144
Section 3 Moving (Closer) to Who You Want to Be 147
Chapter 9 Creating Your Meaningful Life: Transformation 149
Incidental Coaching 150
Is Meaning Found or Created? 151
Discoveries You Would Have Made Anyway— Eventually 153
Case Study: Jamal 154
And Discoveries That Might Have Remained Hidden 156
Sometimes It Is About Recognition 156
Being Clear About the Value of Transformation 158
Being Open to Surprises 160
Coaches Transform Too 162
Some Last Thoughts on Meaning and Transformation 162
Chapter 10 Conclusion: Choosing Your Next Act: Intention 165
Revisiting Being Open to Surprises 166
Surprises Invite Us to Take a Fresh Perspective 167
Taking Stock 168
Being Hopeful 168
Being Strong 168
Being Brave 169
Being Curious 169
Moving Forward with Intention— and Action 170
Immediate Intention 170
Habit Forming and Building 171
Medium-Term Intention 172
Long-Term Intention 172
Launch Your Meaningful Life 173
Afterword— AI: Next‐Level Coaching or Ethical No‐no? 175
Appendix A Core Competencies for Clients 191
Appendix B Tegan’s Profile 197
Appendix C Jamal’s Profile 199
Appendix D What to Ask a Potential Coach 201
Appendix E Is It Time for a Change? Is This a Coaching Moment for You? 205
How Often and How Long? 206
Readiness for Change 207
Are You Ready for Coaching? 209
Acknowledgments 211
About the Author 215
About the Book Advisory Board 217
Index 223
