Description
Book SynopsisA funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages – from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between.
Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable fixtures:
I’d love nothing more than to go outside
and spend time with Mother Nature.
But what can I do? It’s out of my hands:
Nigeria are playing Croatia
50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns!
'Bilston is a magician with words' – Guardian
'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' – The Times
Table of ContentsChapter - 1: Kick-Off Chapter - 2: Football Is... Chapter - 3: Pick Me! Chapter - 4: Trevor Chapter - 5: An Educated Left Foot Chapter - 6: Formations Chapter - 7: The Laws of the Game Chapter - 8: Wonderkid Chapter - 9: The Intergalactic Super Cup Final Chapter - 10: Fifty Ways to Score a Goal Chapter - 11: Fifty Slow Motion Replays Chapter - 12: The Language of Football Chapter - 13: Keepie-Uppies Chapter - 14: On the Bench Chapter - 15: The Thing about Wingers Chapter - 16: A Suggestion Chapter - 17: O.G Chapter - 18: Total Football Chapter - 19: Football Haikus: Starting Chapter - 20: Matchday Chapter - 21: A Cautionary Tale Chapter - 22: Early Morning Goalkeeping Routine Chapter - 23: A Shaggy Dog Story Chapter - 24: Lucky Bobble Hat Chapter - 25: Honest Football Chants Chapter - 26: Transfer List Chapter - 27: Fixtures Chapter - 28: League Table Chapter - 29: A Football Squad of Collective Nouns Chapter - 30: Half-Time Orange Satsuma Chapter - 31: A Poem of Two Halves Chapter - 32: A Ball Speaks Out Chapter - 33: The Magic 18-Yard Box Chapter - 34: The Ballad of Dick, Kerr Ladies FC Chapter - 35: Season’s Greetings Chapter - 36: Acrostic Town FC: Matchday Squad Chapter - 37: In Pursuit of Glory Chapter - 38: Ten Ways to Avoid Passing the Ball to Anybody Chapter - 39: FIFA Chapter - 40: Two Varieties of Potato Chapter - 41: Unsung Hero Chapter - 42: It All Came Out in the Wash Chapter - 43: The Magic Sponge™ Chapter - 44: And the Award Goes to . . . Chapter - 45: Match of the Day Theme: Official Lyrics Chapter - 46: Kit Chapter - 47: On Being Left Out of the England World Cup Squad Chapter - 48: Messi vs Ronaldo Chapter - 49: Life Cycle of a Football Manager Chapter - 50: Every Day is Like a Cup Final Chapter - 51: Back of the Net Chapter - 52: Gabriel Gómez, Number 543 Chapter - 53: End of Term Report Chapter - 54: Dangerous Dave Damage Chapter - 55: The War on Cliché Chapter - 56: Penalty Shoot-Out Chapter - 57: Today’s Results Chapter - 58: Question Time Chapter - 59: Until the Final Whistle Blows Chapter - 60: Post-Book Analysis
